The Nautankey's Stage

The year that was - 2011.

2012-01-01T03:39:00.000-08:00

Ok it's that time of the year when nondescript political commentators, film-critics, sports columnists - at times all rolled into one like indian news channels who have the same panel of 'experts' discussing defence deals and cricketing debacles - have a party writing about their top 10, bottom 10 and middleton. The end result is some megabytes of cyber waste.

Me being the not-so considerate cyber user has decided to contribute to that ... here goes my list of top i-dunno-wat

a) A wonderful 3 months trip to Copenhagen....had some lovely as well as not-so lovely time

Lovely bcoz of the following reasons

Blond girls
Blond girls in clear heels
Blond girls playing volleyball in the beach

Err...that's the top 3 reasons..incredible isn't it. The other ones

A place where indian english and accent is not the funniest
Ppl stopping and watching us with confused looks...when we are playing cricket that is.
Was back to my bachelor days..and realized my booze resistance is not the same as it was 5years ago..ah age is catching up
Ofcoz was paid in a currency which was more than INR
Blond ...ok I stop it here.

No-so lovely bcoz

Missed the chaos
Had a visit to germany- which made me feel why didn't the americans nuke germany...argh..hated the place and no i aint buying a BMW or Audi or Merc ever ever in my life... well not that there were too many affordable..either way.
And yeah..i was single..come on there was no one to blame when things go wrong.

b) Moved into my new apartment. There is a saying in tamil "Get a wedding done and get a house built".. means both are financially exhaustive. One can never estimate the costs and none ever knows all the nuances.

If building the house part is smoother,trust me the moving in and settling down will make sure it sucks out everything left. Guess I can write a whole series of blogs on this.

c) Managed to stage 2 shows with my theatre group. Was a miracle indeed,what with 80% of the team members being offshored.

d) Hearing quite a few voices speaking inside me..and asking me to write a book. I hope it would be a bigger best seller than some of the holy scriptures going around.

e) There was some point in the year where I was completely lost with gadgets, bikes n cars..was using lot of smileys in mails and worst started loving justin beiber's music(i know that's a oxymoron)..phew..it was like some teenage girl's spirit taking over me. Thanks to non-stop rambo movies, absolut, JD and their ilk, the spirits are gone now tho.

New-year wishes..
- Wish SRK stops acting...Anna stops fasting...and obama starts working
- To enter politics
- Stop drinking
- Reduce social networking
- Write more on this blog :-).

Last but not the least..I wish the calendar app used by mayans had crashed,hence there was no 2013 for them ;-).. the world is still so beautiful...

A Different take :-)

2011-09-18T03:32:00.000-07:00

"History is written by victors"

goes a saying. And this applies to every bit of history as well as mythology we read today ..be it the religious crusades,various independence struggles and mythical wars. The other day I was wondering how the story of Ramayana would have been rendered today IF Ravana had won the war.Not being blasphemous or anything,but imagination is a rather wild child...so I let it run..and here is a story we would have been telling our grandkids if Ravana had indeed won the war :)

Once upon a time,long long ago..in the treta yuga lived the noble,just and benevolent king Ravana of Lanka.A devout follower of Lord Shiva,he possessed immense knowledge of vedas and upanishads and was the author of Ravana Samhita - an astrological scripture narrated by lord shiva. Ravanayan is the story about his war with bad people and his ultimate victory.

Ram and Lakshman, the princes of ayodhya were admonished and sent to exile in forest for their misdeeds by their father King Dasaratha.Ram's wife Sita,a pretty,coy lady feared the repercurssions of living alone in ayodhya and decided to be with her husband during the exile,she believed the wild forest to be safer than living as a single woman in a repressive society with three royal mother-in-laws.

One day during their exile in forest,Minakshi,the beautiful and much adored sister of King Ravana saw Ram. She was bewitched by his handsome looks and fell for him. Minakshi went upto Ram and expressed her feelings of desire for him. Ram and Laskhaman were shocked at the courage of this woman,back home in ayodhya no woman would have had the guts to propose a man.They would remain in their goongats and would have had only fleeting glances at their bridegrooms before wedding. Without hiding his disgust Lakshman retorted to Minakshi "O you filthy woman,how dare you speak like this.Women should not behave so.See our Sita here,she is a role model of how a woman should be.You are a demon".

Minakshi replied back "O you misogynist,which law of your land forbids women to express their feelings.If a man had done this you would have termed him as a courageous romantic and if a woman does it,she is a demon?.Being a sita,who does not speak against the men in her household however unjust they are is not how a woman should be". For the first time in their lives the princes of ayodhya heard a woman speak up against a man. An aghast Lakshman drew his sword and sliced the nose of the unarmed Minakshi.

The news of this demeaning act of attacking an unarmed person,that too a woman, travelled far and wide. The learned sages and the wise rishis wondered how a warrior prince right under the nose of a future king could do this. They were stunned by the ruthlessness and irrational behavior. When the mighty Ravana came to know what had befallen his loving sister,he was enraged and vengeance filled his heart. He rushed in his pushpaka vimana to the place where these two chauvinistic princes were living. To his utter dismay he could not find them in their hut,but he found sita. Though hesitant Ravana knew that to know the value of a woman,the princes of ayodhya should lose a woman they loved and respected. Ravana imprisoned sita and took her with him to Lanka.

Ram and Lakshman found that Sita had been abducted.How will they face the world now? how can they ever go back to ayodhya without her? the world will chastise their ability and manhood for not being able to safeguard a woman. Their masculine egos would be thrashed and their legacy relegated to oblivion. The princes decided to find out sita,they started their travel towards south.

Meanwhile in Lanka,Sita was put in a ladies community centre.There she was mocked and ridiculed by the lankan women. They could not imagine someone so coy and so dependent,and without any ability to rebel or speakup against men. Her misery was compounded when she came to know about the beautiful and intellectual Mandodari, Ravana's wife. People compared Sita's beauty to Mandodari but when they stuck a conversation with her,they scorned her intelligence or rather the lack of it.

On the other side luck favored Ram and Lakshman,they befriended Sugriva,the leader of a dark,strong and muscular race of beings from the south. Sugriva's story,of being exiled for betraying his brother,stuck a chord with Ram and Lakshman. Ram decides to help sugriva defeat his brother and in return use sugriva's army to find sita. As decided Ram killed from hiding Sugriva's brother Vali during their duel. This heinous act of killing another warrior from hiding sent shockwaves across the divine world.There were arguments and debates to discuss which one of the brothers' act was more vile,whether it was lakshman's act of hurting an unarmed woman or ram's.

With the help of Sugriva's army and his commander-in-chief Hanuman,ram was able to find that Sita was imprisoned in the island of lanka. He decided to build a bridge to cross over to Lanka. Ignoring the pleas of the sea god about the effect of a man made bridge on the ecology of the ocean and detrimental effects to sea life Ram decided to go ahead. Sugriva's strong and powerful army worked day in and day out and built the bridge to Lanka.

As soon as Ram and Sugriva's army landed in lanka,the mighty war started.The valor of sugriva's army was showcased by brave warriors like Hanuman, Jambavan and Angadh,they gave a run to the Ravana's organized army with their guerilla attacks. With the defection of vibishana,ravana's brother, during a crucial time of the war,Ram looked like having the upper hand. But the might of Ravana was not easy to overcome,his relentless attacks coordinated by his son,the invincible Indrajit and his brother the mighty kumbakarna was too much to handle for sugriva's army.

With sugriva's army wiped out,Ravana entered the battle,he captured both Ram and Lakshman as prisoners of war and admonished them to a life in lanka's prison. As they were being taken to the prison Ram was amazed to see the beauty of Lanka. The well laid streets,the content citizens,the wealth and economic strength of the kingdom left ram awestruck. From Vibishana Ram learnt more about the laws of the land and how prosperous a kingdom lanka is.

Bharata,ayodhya's king-in-charge,came to know about the fate of his brothers. He sent a special peace mission to Lanka and negotiated for the release of his loved family.He was ready to offer his life as a barter for his brothers'. Touched by this gesture,the noble Ravana ordered for the release of Ram,Lakshman and Sita.

As they were about to abode the vimana to ayodhya,Ram spoke to sita, "Dear Sita,my beloved.I love you and trust you more than myself.But with you living in Ravana's abode for so long I as well as our society has every reason to suspect your piety and faithfulness. So I would prefer you to walk thru fire to prove that you are the purest". By now, a visibly changed Sita contested this,"Dear ram,my lord,my ruler.I see your request to be rightful and just.At the same time,during my absence I do know you have lived in the forests and also enjoyed the luxuries of Sugriva's kingdom for a few days.Hence I request you to join with me for walking thru the fire. Let the world know we are the purest".

Taken aback by this Ram decided not to keep the test of fire for Sita, they flew back to ayodhya and Ram's rule started. Every input he had obtained from vibishana on lankan goverance was used efficiently and till today Ram's rule is considered as the golden rule of india....better known as Ram Rajya.

All was well :).

P.S: Ok Folks... you can send your kids,grand kids for story time to me :P

Danish Cookies...

2011-07-04T08:48:00.001-07:00

Was thinking hard on what can be the title to my first post from denmark...the place which I previously knew was famous for beer, cookies and beautiful blonde women. In my one month here I had tasted the first two and well err..no might be better off just watching the third :).

So now I know a lot more things for which Denmark especially Copenhagen is famous for..first on my list is the cost of living....its weird to find shops selling the same stuff with varying prices. Second on my list would be ..hmmm..drunken peeing in elevators....infact one of my colleague who is pretty interested in getting danish citizenship has got a trick up his sleeve...to be more danish than a dane...Drive a cycle to work, get tatooed, smoke like a chimney, gulp in 15 cans of beer and do the second thing mentioned in my list..voila..you get the green card!!. Luckily no one here is ready to follow his advice.

Stopping my cynicism, this is a very beautiful (but yes at times boring) place to live in. The environment consciousness of the people is historical to say the least..coming from a place where everything goes in a breakneck speed and in a rather loud way ..was feeling pretty lost initially. Imagine no one honking ,cars driving past with the slightest noise(blame it on volkswagen, BMWs and the german engineering), the danish language being spoken without the mouth being opened(no words even remotely resembling an oye or an ayyo) ..I got into this habit of clicking on my ears once a while to check if they are indeed working fine. My only living abroad experience was in New York, which can give a run to kolkata and mumbai on loudness meter and the number of Indians were higher than ones seen in Chennai.

So with life being pretty quite, I should be living peacefully..or am I..Nop not actually..there are enough worries clouding me up as and when I check news sites...like the time I came across a website asking readers to send pregnancy advice for aishwarya rai, people arguing on the philosophical value of delhi belly songs, bipasha basu's single status...phew...tension..tension... now lemme sip some beer, munch the cookies and well what else..watch the beautiful blonde walking across the street...nirvana

The Battle in Bengaluru

2010-11-18T05:34:00.000-08:00

Haa...now I have got a valid reason for going missing :) ... one of our team's dream - performing in bengaluru is going to become a reality soon...Yup we are performing in Bangalore over this weekend.

So dear friends of blogworld if you are in Bengaluru do make it to the show and we can promise you would have a wonderful time....if not please help us in spreading the word around. Do send across the information to folks you know in bengaluru...your colleagues,class mates, glass mates, friends, relatives, the-not-too-related friends or even the-not-so-friendly-relatives.... :-)

And information about the show:

Battle of the Sexes is a collection of three short plays centered on the eternal conflict – Man vs. woman. The plays take the audience through a hilarious yet retrospective journey about the clash of perspectives, opinions and actions between the Martians and Venusians.

The Play is being staged on November 21st,2010 at Alliance Francaise, Vasanth Nagar, Bengaluru. The shows are at 4 PM and 7 PM and tickets are priced at Rs.150 /-.

Tickets are available at www.indianstage.in, Crossword [Residency Road], Blossoms Bookstore[Church Street].

Some more enlightenment...

2010-10-20T09:53:00.000-07:00

It was yet another day where I was enjoying my morning snooze and was cursing my idea of joining the gym...Under the pretext of reading the newspaper I decided to steal some more sleep... to my horror one news article woke me up with a rude shock. A political party in tamilnadu had demanded full fledged ban on alcohol..

I mean ok lets not look into the credentials of this party which is pretty much a political whore, changing partners for every election..let's not consider the party's leaders had openly & unapologetically stated is ready for coalition with anyone who is ready to give his son a ministerial berth. Still what makes him so insane, I mean there are lakhs if not crores of drunkards in the state and he is going to lose the few votes which he manages to get !!.

After reading this shocker, I went to a state of trance...yup that state where the sleepy part of your brain plays,fights and finally convinces the other part, the one which is urging you to wake up,brush and get on.

At this magical moment I received an enlightenment...about how bars/pubs/toddy shops are so similiar to places of worship. Following are some of the similarities I could get hold of...

1) Both give peace from current state of misery

2) Both give a high [devotional high and the drunken high]

3) When this high reaches a crescendo we can hear voices speaking to us

4) Until the time the order is given and it is delivered to the table, the bartender is given the same respect as that of a priest/mullah

5) We fight for our beliefs. My friends believe vodka is a sissy drink and i believe whisky is for low-lives. Yeah at times this may lead to battles.

6) Brotherhoods grow.

7) When we leave, we are at peace with the world

8) Women are not given equal rights.

9) Both have created world's greatest philosophers

10) And yeah....We pay tips

Lets hope that very soon the religious drunkards start their own political party,to overcome exploitation...infact demand drinking habits based census next...jai vodka!

Knock...knock

2010-09-04T04:07:00.000-07:00

Anyone in there?..This was the message i typed in the comments section of my previous blog post by mistake :)

After a pretty hectic professional period I can say with confidence that I am back, cleared the 98 spam comments in my blog inbox and thinking about what to post on.Not that any of my previous posts had a particular topic on which I wrote about.Argh..I know there is some mistake in the grammar of the previous sentence but unable to rectify it, ill-effects of non-blogging I shud accept. So the next few posts of mine would be filled with grammatical and typo errors exposing the lack of english skills a software engineer normally has. This is for the precise reason why most of us want to go abroad, learn the language..and then enjoy n relish shakespeare, shelly and keats...no not for the dollars or pounds.

The time between my last post and now is 7months!!!...Lot of interestin things have happened in the 7 months....like rupee getting a new symbol but losing its value, crazy bookies paying for no-balls[come on I once bowed a 15-ball over during my cricketing heydays i.e somewhere in 1990s without getting a penny],Rajnikanth turning younger than aishwarya, Sachin joining IAF[Incidentally Yuvraj singh too has joined indian army-the sleeper cell], Obama swimming in gulf of mexico [waiting for the day MK Stalin swims in koovum river]...not to mention my ever increasing waistline to reduce which I have started gymming. But somehow losing the tummy totally is not in my plan of things because the tummy is the indicator of a software engineer's years of experience. We use the LOT[level of tummy..something similar to LOC-lines of code]. It helps when we strike conversation with colleagues whom we have not met,we can pace our chit chat based on the person's position in the heirarchy.

Aah looks like i am back in touch,started off lamenting the changes in 7 months but as it normally happens got diverted.

23..YES thats the number of lines I have written.When commencing the post thought I wont cross even 5...This is a wonderful landmark to commemorate which I gift all the readers of this fateful post...err...hmmm...ok the first one gets a dictonary, to refresh the forgotten grammar ofcourse :)...

Ello Blog...

2010-01-02T06:03:00.000-08:00

Yeah it has been eons since I dropped in here to visit you, leave alone as the blog's owner but even as a visitor :). Sorry for being so mean and cruel, there are hundreds of valid reasons for not being able to visit. Be it the total net blockage at work[we have requested for blogspot unblocking saying there are loads of tech blogs to read thru :P..hope they show mercy],no computer at the new house and then the internet connection. But I know you wont accept these reasons and will keep harping on my changed marital status as the sole reason...thats how the world works. I mean every status message of mine in twitter or FB is somehow related to my married life and my better half..phew I am thinking what status to put up nowadays. Thinking - A concept which I was not used to previously, I am doing a lot of it now.No doubt married men get bald...sigh.

The year 2009 was pretty good for me. The first 2months were hectic at work, post that it has been bench party :-D... I got a new car, new bike and yeah a wife :P...evil, materialistc me. The Rebelz front was not upto my expectation but then not too bad,so can let it pass by.

I have loads of wishes for 2010, listing a few out here and hope Lord harry reads them and helps me to achieve a few

-- Complete all my half written scripts

-- Attempt writing my own book. C-Log aka canine log :-D

-- Try not to get bankrupt by 10th of every month

-- Start gymming

There are a few more not-so-good wishes like sealing the mouth of my project admin who enquires abt my wife's well being...noble intentions, but she screams it from 3 bays away so that all the girls in the work area know i am not single. Assasinate the head of ISS, the caterer who serves lunch at work..the food makes me delusional, I mean...I end up thinking my wife is the best cook!! this is more dangerous than food poisoning you see.

Some wishes for the welfare of general humanity... wish tiger woods gets back to playing[playing golf i meant], amir khan stops behaving like an idiot in real life[yeah they usurp the story from chetan's book n threaten to sue him..its more of stupidity I say], My name is khan will have only a stammerin SRK[got bored seeing the hamming version of him], Pawar & Modi take up the job of bowling & fielding coach [You say Pawar faster than Venkatesh Prasad?hmm..], RGV delivers a movie which will run till I park my bike in satyam cinemas and rush to the ticket counter, the home minister stops drinking too much [I can give clearer statements on telengana with 5 shots of teqila]...and last but not the least I keep blogging...buhahhaaa...Happy new year all. Have a rocking 2010 !!

Potteranity v1.0

2009-10-07T05:44:00.000-07:00

Brothers & Sisters of human race and fellow bloggers in this scribbling race. Saturday October 3rd would be the date etched in the history of mankind, a date when man’s understanding of higher powers would be changed drastically. The date when Nautankey got his enlightenment.

After six rounds of sky vodka and uncountable tequila shots I, nautankey started receiving divine signals. I heard voices inside my head, no it was not the other fellow drunkards blabbering, it was divine voice. Voice of god [©Copyright nautankey.blogspot.com], the fact that I was resting in a resort far away from the city did not hinder the signal’s clarity.

All my previous understanding of the god and universe were challenged and thrown to dumps with this divine interaction. I found the god and the way to god or rather the one who can lead us to god.

Yes dear sinners!! God has been found [©Copyright nautankey.blogspot.com], so is the apostle who can herd us, the ignorant sheeps to the holy feet of the almighty. Harry potter is God!! And JK Rowling[peas be upon her] is our messiah. Once the secret has been revealed that Holy Harry is the Christ's next coming, the hunky kalki avtar and the daler..err..imaam mahdi whom all the scriptures have spoken about for thousands of years I decided to speak up. Open your minds and souls to accept the almighty Potter as the GOD.

A few salient features of this new divine religion which you will soon start following are listed below. This religion is currently named “Potteranity” but can also be referred as Potterism.

Potteranity is the most democratic & humane religion around and allows 'n^n' number of gods..A god for every action and reaction and the best part is under a festive(Potteranity’s festivals will be detailed in v2.0) offer the early bird devotees will be made gods/goddesses, you can also pose along with the almighty god and his aides Hermione and Ron for a quick polaroid photo. Once the official opening is declared rush your entries to iwannabeagod@potteranity.com..but do remember Holy Harry is the supreme god, the omnipresent one whose existence and powers can never be questioned, so the final allotment rests with the almighty Harry.

We will be gentle and peaceful followers of our honorable religion and ones who oppose us will lovingly be stoned, beheaded or amputated any body part of their choice (democracy again) in public.

About gender equality...women and equal to men ?..No WAY, in Potteranity they are superior. So all the top positions go to women and we have high priestesses, popeyes(female tense of popes) and himaamis(FT of imaams) and women can enter The Dingy Alley(worshipping place of Potteranity’s devotees ) anytime and any ‘bloody’ day(s) of the month. Polygamy is strictly banned and if Women practice it they will be punished with a fine of 500 USD and if men involve they will be ostracized & condemned to Potteranity’s hell with a fine of 1000 USD.

The wholey...well..the holy book of Potteranity will be called as Hinkypunky . This universal book of knowledge will have 8479 copies and interpretations..so if at all a religious skeptic questions and we don't like that. We can easily oppose that infidel by showing proofs from other 8478 versions of hinkypunky.

Holy Harry our almighty god always existed even before every single conceivable universe existed and expecting a relevant logical/scientific explanations for the preaching of Potteranity will grant you eons of life in painful hell where your soul will be burnt, fried with Chinese chilli n vinegar sauce.

Potteranity too has casteism.. castes are based on economic status. Just 2 subdivisions- haves and havenots. Your caste will be based on your belongings like mobile, i-pod, laptop, dig-cams if you are one who asks something like well...i-pond?? whatzat? can I swim o'er there ? ...Ewwww!! Just move out.. You are declared an untouchable.

The brothers and sisters who involve in blasphemy will be forgiven by the benevolent god by giving a host of wonderful tasks to fulfill… like getting smooched by nana patekar, watching rakhi sawant without makeup, making George Bush jr. win the spelling bee contest .

Ofcoz all generic rules apply ..like…
1. Thou shalt not have any God before Holy Harry... except Santaclaus and superman. Fine... Spider man, Rajinikanth allowed as demi-gods.

2. Thou shall not have any other messiah. JK Rowling[piece be upon her] will be the one and the only. All the other messiahs you were following, be it Eminem or Ramdev Baba cease to exist.

3. Thou shalt not kill, unless the infidel irritates you too much

4. Thou shalt be lazy and offer prayers once in a while when you are not drunk.

5. Thou shalt not steal, unless you really, really want something and cannot afford it

6. Potteranity is harsh on dressing freedom. If thou are a fat guy you are no longer allowed to wear speedos/tight tees or run around semi-clad and titillate women. And in the interest of fairness, if thee is a fat gal you cannot wear bikinis or terrorize men with butt clinching jeans.

More additions to this universal religion of love, peace, knowledge,wisdom and brotherhood will come in future versions. Information about Potteranity’s festivals, graphic details Potteranity’s hell and heaven, Gods and goddesses are all expected to be released soon.

Those infidels who don’t like this supreme religion are not welcome to the comments section and if they do dare to criticize this divine legion..well u know where those comments r gonna disappear along with the souls of those sinners. Harry Om!

The Rebellious blog..

2009-09-16T23:03:00.000-07:00

Updated after a pretty long time...
A short note about a motley group of white collar workers taking up something which we thought wont last more than a year...

Theatre the great reveller - http://www.rebelz.in/blog/

Flabbergasting indeed...

2009-09-08T22:05:00.000-07:00

Well...this is a question in the US Visa processing form. It has a Yes or No box.

Do you seek to enter the United States to engage in export control violations, subversive or terrorist activities, or any other unlawful purpose? Are you a member or representative of a terrorist organization as currently designated by the U.S. Secretary of State? Have you ever participated in persecutions directed by the Nazi government of Germany; or have you ever participated in genocide?

I mean will anyone be dumb enough to say a yes even if their intent was the above ?..Yeah al-qaeda has some dumb heads but still..this is too much of an under estimation I say :-)

Words...

2009-08-24T22:29:00.000-07:00

Somethings cannot be explained in words

The joy and elation I get when people laugh for my lines
The goosebumps I get whenever i see the national flag being hoisted[even in not so known places by the not so VIP ones]
The way I get tongue tied when I see this really gorgeous girl in office
The sense of guilt which overcomes when I give a light thwack to my nephew during his dangerously mischievious avtars.
Why I help anyone in need and then end up getting screwed- How the slightest of provocation to my mammoth ego changes me totally
The rage when I see educated and rational people believing astrology, sunsign, sooth sayers and rakhi sawant's wedding [infact the last one is more believable than the others]
The sense of belonging and attachment when I drive past my college/previous company
The anger when me as a customer is not treated properly.
The memories that rush thru when a familiar fragrance brushes past
The sense of relief after hurling abuses on a rash chennai auto driver.

For others I have my blog :-)

Harry Potter and the misery with ISPs....

2009-08-09T22:52:00.000-07:00

Yeah very true,that would be the title of the next HP book had JKR been in Chennai[or any part of india for that matter]. I feel I am back to the neolithic, chalcolithic ages thanks to the atrocious indian ISPs. One fine day in my facebook-gtalk filled heaven horror stuck, the net was not working,i call up my ISP[hathway] and this is how the conversation went

Harassed Me[HM]: Hathway? My number is 17xxxx
Customer care[CC]: Yes sir. How can I help you.
HM : No internet here
CC: Are you from chennai?
HM: Yes.
CC: We have stopped service in chennai from today
HM: Whaaat? I never got an intimation
CC: Oh right now i intimated you sir
HM: What the...this is information,not intimation.
CC: Not much of difference
HM: Just last week I paid for the renewal,why did get renewals.
CC: You can collect it from our office by giving back the modem [bangs the phone]

Immediately I dial the other ISP-Airtel,he sends his agent in less than an hour and all formalities are done and connection promised in 3days,happy that order in heaven is restored I go to blore for a fun time[later about this].After 15days, 10mails, 20 calls and 30 abusive sms-es Airtel doesnt seem to relent.They are pretty focussed on their goal you see "harass the customer",finally I decide to go for BSNL..aah the babu there took the application form kept it aside and said the connection may or may not come in 15days, inspired by the meteorology department I say.

So there goes my life without internet,blogging,facebook,gtalk..ahemm ahemm sites..things which I thought I will never live without.Wish I can do a avada kedavra and wipe off all these customer unfriendly organizations.

Phew..what a sense of relief,sorry for all those who were forced to read the above cribbing, afterall life is not a bed of roses all time. Especially if you are a customer in india.

Coming back to the blore trip,it was amazing..in the sense there are two cities which are say 5hours apart and everything changes. Especially the social circuit.In one finding a restaurant which provides good food with booze is a herculean task,while in the other we can find one in every street.While one has shady govt controlled wine shops prividing IMFL the other had spanky pubs with a great variety to offer.Err..I am on to another crib loop, anyway we had a blast of a time in HRC,it is a wonderful place with great ambience,lovely stuff and [most importanlty]service,would keep going back again and again. The visit was for a wedding of blog pals[both the guy n gal met thru blogs] and yeah we also met a kiddo blogger and it was time well spent.

Then comes the question which I face very often nowadays-changes post engagement. Well the courting period is pretty courteous[so far] and not too many changes in life,though I do spend some extra minutes over the phone..say 100 minutes,sorry am bad in converting minutes to hours :D. And for all those single folks out there who are taunting me with their freedome of movement [and other things] I have found some reasons to get married,listing some here

I have someone to share my EMIs
No more stag entries
All those old uncles/aunties will stop asking when I am getting married[maaan this was a real pain in you-know-where]
No friend/colleague will embarass me by introducing me to his/her awkward looking pal with the hope that we will get hitched
I can stop blaming everything on the government
I get an entire branch to my family tree [which also means few more tickets sold for the rebelz shows :P]
And yeah you don't need to have a blog to crib

I know there are a 1000 more reasons not to get married but then since I am on this side of the shore I get dyslexic when I try reading them :P

Estoy vivo !!

2009-07-08T21:50:00.000-07:00

A meaningful title indeed. It means I am Alive!! Now I can't complain about having nothing to blog about, I can put a post listing out the reasons for not being able to blog...wah wah Kya Idea sirji ..

Speaking about Idea, the recent Walk and Talk[or something on that lines] ad by idea bought only negative thoughts for me. Reminded of the incident were this lady who was talking on phone and walking or rather crossing a railwaytrack was run over by the train. Any which way looks like the idea will reduce indian population, so still Kya Idea sirji stands.

Getting back to the reasons I was unable to post a post following are some
a) Our group's 3rd year anniversary production is coming up on 26th & 27th September, was full time into writing the script. Now that the first draft is over, time to cool my heel. The script has come out better than I had dreamt of. Hope the execution part too goes well

b)My 2.5 years old nephew, who is a dennis reincarnate has taken control of my PC at home, trust me that guy..err..baby/kid knows a hell lot of techie stuff. He can insert a C.D --> right-click --> Autorun from my computer. Refresh a webpage by hitting F5[something I knew only in my 1st year of masters]. Knows to pick and choose the Kid's rhymes page from favourites, though he can't read as such. As I was welling up with this sense of pride,I went to my friend's place and saw that her daughter, all of 10months old can switch on and shutdown a laptop and can differentiate a real laptop from a toy one[ofcoz rejects the toy]. What can I say..just give the cliched... kids these days expression and move.

c) The work...suddenly I find myself in a product development team and am learning that developing a product is pretty tough. So next time I curse Microsoft, I'd show some mercy.

In other news I have found that I am good food critic..For a second time Burrp has featured my review as the best of the week :-) .One thing I realized was to be a food critic you need not be a foodie, just need imagination and writing skills. I have seen many foodies,the ones who swear by food,unable to express in words why they love a particular cuisine...burrp looks like a place to good start off.

In one another news, my status as a single would be coming to an end pretty soon. Don't think I can exhibit my food critique skills after that at home :P

Neuschwanstein...

2009-06-03T04:25:00.000-07:00

I decided to put up a post and the first hurdle as usual was the title. Wonder why I spend so much time thinking about a title,bcoz my posts are no where coherent or sensible. Speak about blog's reflecting your personality.So this title or word was something engraved on a memorabilia which rests on my desk. Google it and I am sure something interesting will turn up :-)

Life is going really cool,every day is an adventure. Imagine stepping into work and seeing if your swipe card/system login works just to confirm you still have a job. Trust me the kinda happiness I get after a successful login every morning....is orgasmic. I have a job..phew. And why do people think I am not serious, comeon being on bench[or even being pink slipped for that matter] is not the end of the world. Most of the folks try to fake a straight-face and end up looking like their zipper got stuck in the wrong place..

There are more serious things than my work at office as such. How is that I find the same girl strikingly attractive one day and too bland n boring the next day,wonder if she has a two-face!! Not the villain in batman series, but i am seriously worried that if at all I gather all my guts and ask her out who will I meet? the attractive one or the dreary one...aah...the troubles of an unmarried man. I am searching for a therapist to cure this two-face syndrome.

And yeah things havent been rosy all around,there was an unexpected death. A close friend's dad expired just a week before his wedding. I mean the whole thing happened in a jiffy, 10mins ago the man was there all pumped up getting things in order for his son's wedding - a massive cardiac arrest - and he is no more. Situations like this make us ask a hundred questions,though we know there are no answers.

Came across this beautiful poetry of Aurobindo Gosh - The Fear of Life and Death

Death wanders through our lives at will, sweet Death
Is busy with each intake of our breath.
Why do you fear her? Lo, her laughing face
All rosy with the light of jocund grace !

A kind and lovely maiden culling flowers
In a sweet garden fresh with vernal showers,
This is the thing you fear, young portress bright
Who opens to our souls the worlds of light.

Is it because the twisted stem must feel
Pain when the tenderest hands its glory steal?
Is it because the flowerless stalk droops dull
And ghastly now that was so beautiful?

Or is it the opening portal's horrid jar
That shakes you, feeble souls of courage bare?
Death is but changing of our robes to wait
In wedding garments at the Eternal's gate

Not sure if this little poetry can console people,but surely makes us realize death is not just the end for someone but rather a journey towards the end of so many things for the loved ones of the demised.

Wish I could do everything I want before death touches me. The wishes range from the highly impossible like - writing that great script which future generation of screen writer's use as a bible, perform that role which would outshine a charles heston or gielgud - to the downright silly like confessing all my blunders, mischiefs and actions....yes rajath I was the one who stole your valuable hero pen in 6th grade and yeah madhuri I was the culprit who kept that stupid love letter in your shoes during the lab session in 9th grade...thank god the probability of rajath or madhuri reading this is next to zero :-)

Many if not all of us have a last wish ...my dad wants his last breathe to be in native village...my grandpa's was to visit kasi but we could not take him to the kasi theatre too. My sindhi friend wishes to visit Lahore once before his penultimate hour...humans and our obsession with death, thinking about it, makes us understand Egyptians better!!

May so far >>>

2009-05-24T06:05:00.001-07:00

On a normal day I hate it when people interrupt when I talk...but not the other day when I had to wait for the laughs of 150+ houseful crowd to subside so I can continue with my lines.

On a normal day I love perfection and detest when people miss synchronization ...but not the other day when a few of our actors missed some lines yet came out with spontaneous reactions which were better off than the ones in the script.

On a normal day I don't prefer too much of experimentation, this time around tried something called the Pirandello technique in the script of a 2omins play which luckily worked out!!!

Yes the Rebelz play was a rollicking success, more than the laughs and the applauds what made me happier was that we now have a bigger team to take care of things. Starting with just 3-4 guys who were doing all the work[yours truly was the script writer cum PR cum set design coordinator cum compere cum...many more] now we have a team of around 10 who are motivated enough[come on theatre doesn't pay :)] to pull off a wonderful show...As an icing on the cake we got some really wonderful reviews too. A heartfelt thanks to all the blog friends...those who came and those who did their best to support virtually...thanks a ton folks.

Well...stopping my rebelz tomtoming and bragging[blogging rhymes with bragging eh?] here. All the high obtained on sunday evening was drained out as soon as I reached office the next morning. The first mail on monday morning... A notification, SSAS,SSIS,WSS,SSPS - these are a few technologies which I need to ge trained on. In days of recession do I have a choice to pick the technology I work on?. After a week of so-called training I am yet to know the abbreviations of those technologies!!. My great march towards the pink slip I guess.....but then not too sure if I do care.

Hello blog....

2009-05-06T04:11:00.000-07:00

After a pretty long time [ I suppose] am back to blogging. Don't think I can write anything coherent so trying to list down my activities

Had an awesome trip to Hyderabad,the best part all the people who made is awesome were blog pals. The guy who accompanied me to the trip, the person who invited us and most importantly the wonderful man who made the whole trip memorable. I knew all of them thru blogs yet never felt they were any different from other friends. Cheers to the spirit of blogging.
Hyderabad trip can be summarized as Eat-Go around-Eat-Go around-Eat-party-Eat-Sleep-Wakeup- Eat-Go around. All this in an infinite loop. Add to it the Eat part mostly was biryani, not just normal biryanis... yummilacious hyderabadi biryani. As soon as we gorged down the last bit of paradise biryani,there was this great sense of achievement and bliss which covered us. Finally mission accomplished...burrp
With the train man around we never needed any guide for the city, he knows the history, geography, civics, chemisty and many more subjects of hyderabad more than what the nizams would have ever known. He has a deep love for the city and its cuisine,lucky us got to eat at the best places and visit the most important spots.
Not sure if it was the over eating spree or the hot weather, fell sick with typhoid and was on a curd-rice wonly diet for ten days...it sucks
If there is something more suckier than the above point, got to admit it is IPL and it's on-your-face commercialization. When the cricket jockeys like gavaskar, shashtri over hype all the matches as the match of the century and then ball of the tournament, shot of the decade, catch of the millenium... God give us a break..nop not the strategic breaks with Ads.
I suddenly find every girl I come across attractive!! The best[or worst]part, I dumped my I-can't-woo tendencies and stuck a converstaion with couple of them n even got their numbers. Phew tell me about the side effects of typhoid...it's pretty baad I shud say.
Bought a new car, it looks like a toy car[a Wagon R]but then serves the purpose. Had the most irritating 2hours of my life when the car was delivered, right from the showroom guys to my parents wanted a 100 poojas[rituals] to be performed. At the end of which the red color car was covered with so much petals and other stuff I forgot which color I had booked for. These theists...argh.
They have pink slipped my team mate...now it's like Mera number kab aayega ?. Wish to quit the job and go for a long trip across India. Hmmm.....If wishes were horses
Elections are up and still undecided as to which moron to vote, probably vote for some independent candidate so that I feel content that I did vote and at the same time don't feel guilty I chose another corrupt dumbass to represent me.
Seriously contemplating to take up sanyas full time and start an ashram to preach gyaan and whenever I think of this I feel I am getting old.
Met my schoolday crush in a friend's post wedding dinner, she is a mother of two and is like a walking talking blubber...how times change. Whenever I come across the previous point I think of her and feel younger ..Complex mind I have got.

---The End---

The Alicious tag...

2009-04-20T02:40:00.000-07:00

Was tagged by alice to write 25 random things about myself.I already owe her some royalty with regards to her name,which I have no plans of paying :)... And add to it when on bench boredom just kills you...Thanks to this tag it helped me to while away some time. Here it is..

[Seriously I did not get any other image for "25" :P]

1. I hate watching movies. I feel it's a waste of 3hours, especially the normal commercial fare which doesn't add anything to my creative self.

2. My idea of a start-up is starting my own religion or at least an ashram

3. I am what they call a metro sexual. I don't mind folks calling me that,I take care of my hair and skin so that I don’t end up bald or wrinkled when am in late 30s. Metro sexual is better than being addressed as the wrinkled bald man :D

4. I love to get high and stoned ,but sadly my capacity has quadrupled of late and in my last binge drinking attempt even 4 large rounds of Smirnoff didn't shake or stir me. Some serious issue.

5. Am a crazy fan of govinda and I believe he is the true desi style Icon. I wore costumes of same color as he did once, and they quarantined me in college..hmph

6. BIG time narcissist. I have a two mirrors in my room, one in the workplace and even my bike's rear view mirror is focused on my face.

7. I am crazy about Rakhi Sawant,Paris hilton and Sambhavna seth..I know most of you would be cleaning your tongues after reading out these names..but..well serious issue no-2

8. There are times I get up and move to some place/room and turn blank..I totally forget the reason for going there. Trust me it's very embarrassing, especially if it's the loo at office.

9. I am totally mesmerized by people of Mongoloid origin[guess addressing them as chinky is racist,some of them said it hurts].I find them cute and adorable. I just get rooted to where I am and start ogling at girls and babies of Mongoloid origin. In fact a few times was doing that at guys too...ok ok serious issue no-3. Gosh whats this tag doing to me..making me feel like rushing to get an appointment with psychiatrist

10. I don't overtake or race ahead of lady drivers who overtake me. I find that totally amateurish and immature.

11.I love surprising myself, like doing something totally wacky once a while. Enrolling in guitar classes was one of them and not going to it regularly wasn't too surprising :)

12.I think I am the master of spoofs. I can write a spoof of any movie/book and can claim confidently that it would make people laugh.

13. I hate homophobics..I mean why do people feel threatened by what a person does in his/her bedroom. That that man/woman that that preferences. We have more dangerous people at lose in the society than homosexuals.

14. I have more break-ups than the number of fingers in my hand :D

15....Yeah 15 is the number of approximate breakups so far and counting !!!

16. I want to become famous because I wish to write an autobiography.

17. I dream to live like Rudyard Kipling.

18. I am nowhere like my blog. I mean people build an image of me after reading my blog only to surprise themselves by running into a self-indulgent, silent guy.

19. At any given point of time my mind would be thinking of 5 different things on a parallel processing mode.

20. Give me a computer with AOE and internet I would be sitting there till eternity.

21. I hate being neutral in times of a crisis. I believe in this saying "The hottest corners of hell are saved for those who are neutral in times of crisis"

22. Many[especially girls] find me rude, haughty, arrogant and high-headed...actually I like being called that :-)

23.When I am passionate about something I get overconfident about my abilities to do it. To the extent that I go on to say even if all the actors fall sick I will play every role in the play and make it a hit :)

24. I am a big time egoistic bum who is hyper sensitive[though I seldom exhibit it]. Someone doesn’t reply to my mails or doesn’t return my hi or hello. I mark them and post their name in my to-be-assassinated-soon list.

25. I never have my shoe laces tied.

If you are bored or suffering from blogger's block or want to tell something more about yourself to your blog reader's I request you to take this tag up.

---The End ---

The BIG Fat Indian Arranged Marriage...

2009-04-09T00:07:00.000-07:00

Act 1
The drama unfolds when an uncle or aunt's comments[rather a snide remark] make our parents think that their kid is getting really old and it's time he/she stops enjoying life. After all happiness is not everything in life. So they conclude we are ready for the holy union. The same uncles and aunts are then used for broadcasting the availability of an eligible bachelor/spinster in the household.

Act II
The show starts with a bang. With phrases like "Fair,slim,goodlooking girl wanted"(for a Bappi Lahiri look alike)... or a "Boy with decent family background and clean habits"(for a girl who idolizes Rakhi Sawant) going around in matrimonial columns or portals.

Act III
The verification, validation and elimination round. Innumerable matches are browsed and are eliminated based on pedigree[The Aunt: The bride's sister's brother-in-law is married to a person from another community it seems..how blasphemous].

Mars is in second house and Venus is in 4th house, that's a bad combination for a horoscope you see. If we marry this person there will be bad luck for the next 14 generations.The groom's father, mother, brother, sister and puppy will get a cardiac arrest, a tsunami will strike from the flush and engulf the house. No way we can take a person with this kind of horrorscope !! -- This is the uncle-ji.

A year passes by … they get bored and lose hope with this act. Then starts the phenomenon called as *.* search. Well it goes like this.........
First the parents would have started off with the search string 'Beautiful iyengar girl looking out for vadakalai iyengar boy preferably professionally qualified'...then due to lower success rate it is now changed to 'Beautiful iyengar bride looking for iyengar professionally qualifed groom'.W ith not much success either the search criteria is transformed to 'Iyengar girl looking for brahmin boy'...then at a later point changes to vegetarian boy. Finally the search is like Bridegroom wanted..caste, community no bar(Wah! wah!what a broad mindedness)...this implies to all castes,communities and creeds(last survey counted more than 50 thousand castes in my state alone)

ACT IV
At last the wedding gets fixed with some compromise or the other. Then comes the huge cost involved in an arranged marriage. The bride's & groom's side competes in building up a crowd. Hence we can see old pals, school/tuition teachers, plumbers, car mechanics, newspaper boy anyone and everyone who the bride or groom's side knows. We need witnesses for once in a lifetime occurrence you see. Of course jewels, silk saris and 'n' number of food varieties are there in the list by default.

The compromises too are not reached without a reason. The color and looks of the bride determines the dowry rate(let's not be so crass..its called kanyadhaan).The fair & slim girl conditions can be compromised if a few bucks are passed.

ACT V
Post all the drama and tamasha slowly the truth starts sinking in for the boy and girl. The boy thinks his wife is extremely beautiful, caring and would bear him kids who would win Spelling bee contests. But she may turn out to be someone who hates guy's who has parents or someone who won’t get a proper sleep if she hasn't heard the sound of her hubby's credit card being swiped every day.

And the girl who was expecting this caring and sensitive husband, may realize her man is as caring as Emperor Nero and the sense part..well he may be a non-sense though, especially if it's someone like me, whose idea of a fashion icon is govinda and the only sport he plays is throwing pop-corn into his mouth as he watches IPL,ICL,India Vs.Holland, Ranji trophy and any cricket match played on the television.

Final ACT
The man and woman realize there is no way to get out of this and either end up loving each other, probably sympathizing with the other’s plight Or they keep the marriage intact by remaining single deep inside their hearts.

Yes yes.. accepted arranged marriages have a positive side too. It's like a huge family reunion and two unconnected families coming together..where else can we expect the guy serving sambhar or one giving you rose milk to be a distant relative and gives aptitude books a run for the money in solving the blood relations puzzle.

With all its pitfalls and drawbacks the show still goes on with the BIG Fat Indian arranged marriage.

And yeah the Rebelz take on the same - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-VpTnliFRk ;-)

----The End----

The ideal partner....

2009-04-06T22:22:00.000-07:00

I loved reading this... :-)

The ideal man by the woman...

Before I go to to sleep,
I pray for a man who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong,
For me he always sings a song.
One who thinks before he speaks,
And wont be one of those tech geeks,
I pray he’s gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my feet and begs to do more.
Let me have a man who’ll make love to my mind,
Remembers what i wore when we last dined,
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

The ideal woman by the man...

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with
Voluptuous body who owns a bar on a golf course,
And loves to send me fishing and hunting. This
Doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a shit

-- The End ---

Scriptopdia - 2

2009-04-02T08:38:00.000-07:00

Aftet this, thought of filling up my blogosphere break with another piece of script. Here it comes, from a play we staged on 2007, a play which taught us a lot.. not just with regards to acting n writing but more with regards to marketing, planning and budgetting a theatre production :-)

Character sketches

Dave,Hari,Roy - Three modern day young men who have been there and done that

Raghu - A naive 30year old virgin

The 4 are sharing a drink with some open talk about their past relationships. While Dave, Hari and Roy are more than happy to share their's Raghu isn't, not that he is shy it's just that he doesn't have any worth mentioning.

Hari: So Raghu..now its your turn

Raghu: Well..actually I don’t discuss my private life.

Hari: You are speaking like a virgin. Are you one ?

[Raghu gives an expressionless look]

Hari: So you are one. I knew it... I knew it

Roy: Harry!! Stop the nonsense. So what’s wrong if he is one? It's good he is. Raghu, its not necessary that you got to speak about it. You can also speak about your closest encounter.

Raghu: Good. That's fair. I did have one in college

Roy: Wow!!..just share it..come on!! go ahead

Raghu: Well it was in the college bus, the hottest girl of our department prabha was sitting next to me. The bus was going on a very rough road with a lot of potholes. Then came a really abrupt brake and.

Dave and Hari[excitedly]: And?..

Raghu: Her dupatta touched my pant..

Dave and Hari[doubled up excitement]: And?

Raghu: And nothing else.

Hari: You mean this was your closest sexual encounter ?

Dave: Dude!! He must have had an erection for 2 days for this.

Hari: Oh Raghu don’t you have anything interesting to tell ?..I guess you have never been hooked to a girl all your life.

Raghu’s Monologue

Yes. I have never been hooked to a girl. I feel that’s because I am a nice guy. I know I am a nice guy because everyone tells me so. That’s why I don’t get hooked. I am nice. I remind every girl of her brother and am their best friend, but a date or movie..naah..I am not a date material I suppose.

Eventually all this should have led to pent up desperation inside me but NO..I am too nice for that. Once in college I tried not to be nice..Reejo the cassanova of my class told me to stop being nice and pick up a good girl. So I went to this girl and dropped a pick-up line “Hey baiiiby..is your daddy in army...you look explosive”..and know what? She started crying. The first time I try not be nice I make a girl cry. I spent the rest of the semester asking her sorry at every point I saw her. This was simply not going to work.

I don’t even have an un-nice name to lean on ..Raghuraman Rangarajan..you can imagine a Dave or a Roy to be suave and romantic. But a Raghuraman..no he can't..The writing is on the wall I simply cannot be un-nice and can never get a girl. Period.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The other 3 character's did have their monologues. Yet this was the one which got the maximum applauds. Probably because there were many raghus in the audience 'inspired by life' works wonders I say ;-)

---The End---

A Stroll in the valley...

2009-03-19T07:42:00.000-07:00

“Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer.”

How true can this quote be. Especially when you spend 12hours in front of the computer at work, 6hours in front of the computer at home and the balance few hours dreaming about solving the production issues in the main server computer. Argh..It is compute-err I got to say. Add to it when you get a question like "Will you be home by 5?" and you respond "System time or run time?" you know it’s the high time to take a break.

I am blessed, lucky, fortunate[that’s the end of my attempted-GRE vocabs] to get a bunch of people who were equally if not more bugged with work. So a motley group of guys and girls numbering 13[yeah I know the last supper but in this bunch all were Judas] decided to take a weekend off to a place which is uncorrupt by overt commercialization and artificial fauna n flora.

The spot was avalanche, some 30kms from the hustle bustle of Ooty[Ooty is a perfect example of my rant about commercialization].My previous visit to avalanche was 3years back and those adventurous memories made me all pumped up.

We booked tickets in a special train to coimbatore and the train was indeed special with a delay of one hour to the destination. Other than the grudge that we didn’t get all the 13 tickets in a single coach the train journey was incident free. Infact it was surprising because most of the folks who follow indian flexible time n were expected to miss the train arrived on spot during the departure.

A saying goes - God can't be present everywhere and that’s why he created bars..err..friends and we had a truly god sent friend at coimbatore. This noble person[whom 99% of us met for the first time] was present in the coimbatore railway station with the 14seater cab he had arranged for our trip to avalanche and most importantly with 2 bottles of Smirnoff and packed breakfast as he thought we may get delayed if we halt for breakfast or to buy sarakku. A heartfelt thanks to him.

We gobbled down the idlis, pongal, sambhar and chutney as the cab was on the move and reclined on our seats half asleep. The journey from coimbatore to ooty is 2.5 hours and from ooty to avalanche its another 1 hour. Thanks to our innumerable tea and pee breaks we reached avalanche with a delay of more than an hour.By the time we reached the parking lot of the resort which we had booked it was 1 in the noon.

I presume the resort guys had planned fun right from the word go or probably it was our cranky group which turned even the most mundane things into fun filled adventures. I am speaking about the 3 km long army truck ride from the parking lot to the resort's reception. It was jungle pathway with no evenly laid road even for a centimeter. Bump...jump..bang that was our situation inside..more like the fruits being beaten in a mixer. But we being the innovative ones decided to start a game, the participant shud stand up from his/her seat without holding anything for support, the one who stands for the highest count is the winner. Interestingly the fattest of the lot won it by a huge margin.

Once we reached the resort,the next few minutes the only expression on the face of 13 people was "jaw dropping", be it the beautiful valley which started from the room or the tastefully decorated rooms[they had a wild west theme] or be the yummy lunch everything about the place was simply awesome. As we had arrived pretty late that day,we spent it by going for horse riding, playing a violent game of foosball[kids ran back into their cottages hearing our over excited screams during the game],munching down the home made cakes and last but not the least emptying the 2 bottles of Smirnoff till the last drop. The adventures of the drunken travellers can be written as a separate novel. Imagine going to the topmost point of the valley and doing march-past[with perfect commands and movements, everyone remembered their NCC days] at 12.30 in night in the freezing cold, I say only a man in a happy high can do it.

The next day morning we were back on our feet by 6.30AM and all set to conquer the wilderness, after a small fishing session and visit to the farm[the produce of which is used for preparing the yummy food]we got ready for a long trek.Or rather a hike into the forests covering two hills. The trek started pretty normally...a few slopes and few uphills.As we went deep in the terrain got tougher and then came the best part....the skies opened up,drenching us totally and all were wet till the bone. The terrain was getting more uphill and the rain was making it slippery, after lot of huffing and puffing by some fitness freaks[read as yours truly] we managed to proceed. We reached a clearing, and from there we could get a glimpse of the beautiful avalanche river spreading her tributary in a grandiose manner. We were spell bound, such sights reminds me of the famous hawkings quote "We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star", we feel so minuscule in front of the nature's vastness but imagine the number of petty fights and conflict we have..hmmm..after a few seconds we realized we were carrying cams, then the photo sessions began.

The hike back to the cottage took another 45 minutes, it was easier than the onward journey with a pretty flat terrain. Back to the cottage we jumped into the lunch, for a change I dumped all my diet controls and was emptying the food bowls, the poor waiters could not do anything but keep serving more.

The return from paradise started with the truck ride[and ofcoz the who stands still game, this time I improved vastly and was the runner up]to our cab. The next 3.5hours drive to coimbatore was made interesting with group singing sessions [the driver too joined in] and a particular joke about a ducky love affair. The dinner was in a very average restaurant but then only the average ones provide quick service.

The train had already arrived and for those who thought the fun was over here..nop it didn't, the next day being the birthday for one of our gang's mainstays, we had decided to make it special. A cake was set up inside the train and with proper plotting and scripting we made sure the cake and b'day celebrations were a total surprise to the b'day boy. The cake cutting was followed by a creamy facial and a b’day bumps session right on the main platform of coimbatore railway station. The expression of others in the station is still etched in my memory, imagine a guy being lifted by 10people and being given bums in a rather busy railway station...finally getting tired of giving bumps we all retired to the berths. It was a different story that the b'day boy was given a Vaseline n Colgate facials in the morning...and we claim to be in the wrong side of twenties.

The next day all of us were back in our seats by 10.30 AM, looking into the compute-errs and prizing the memories of a fun filled trip. A special thanks to my friend without whom I would not have been able to make it in time to work and wud have got a guaranteed screwing from my boss.

They say - If you come home as happy as you leave, you have had a good vacation, but the fact is all of us came home happier than when we left so it was a blast of a vacation indeed.

I am alive.

2009-03-12T23:11:00.000-07:00

A post to indicate I am still alive and kicking or rather being kicked around. Just a list of random rants and more of a diary entry, those who find it narcissist are welcome to punch their computer screens and leave a few abusive comments. I am sucker for comments you see...

I passed a business certification exam. The exam reminded me of the vodafone ad. Three folks who wrote ahead of me flunked and I was waiting for the result on screen...had my heart in my eyes[heart in mouth is a bit overused I feel]. Finally when it was thru I realized the state of mind that guy the ad shud have been in :-), ran to my seat and buzzed everyone in my IM list about the results,and ofcoz was giving gyaan on preparation methods[consultation only for girls though]...aah success is indeed good.
Going for a trip this weekend, so expect a travelogue in this space. Hadn't written a travelogue for pretty long time, should be better than my poetry I can assure.
An ex-colleague called up. She is back to india after 2 years, after a 20mins chat she sms-es me.. hey what happened to you, you sound so professional,no flirting nothing..got committed?. reminded me of this...duh again.
Getting totally pissed with the jago re ads and now TOI has joined the "You Better Vote" campaign with people making promises on their kids' heads...A BIG WTF... Not voting is also my right isn't it, why an emotional blackmail for that. Why don't they have the balls to start a public campaign asking parties to avoid selecting candidates with legal cases on them. I went thru my constituency's probable list of candidates..and I am resolved - I better sit at home than voting for any of these morons.Nop I aint going to the polling booth and giving a letter to the officier saying I am not voting,I want to live longer :-)
Thanks to the new diet regime, lost 3kgs and a few inches of the waistline.Not that I feel like a size-zero kareena, it's just that feeling light does change a lot of things. Saved all my old dresses which were not fitting me, can wear those round necked tees without being bothered about the protruding tummy[and dread that question - how many months :P] and most importantly can climb the stairs without panting...but the things we need to give up for this....phew..no pain no gain is true.
Started my very long cherished plan of learning guitar. I am this going-to-join-guitar-class-next-month music enthusiast for the past 10 years. Keeping fingers crossed to see if I can continue this for 2months.
Another woman's day came and went. I know it's a pointless exercise yet a particualr forward made me smile. Here it is.. Titled "Advantages of being a woman"...
- All they need to do to get a seat on the bus is get pregnant
- Can see the light at the end of the warehouse-sale tunnel
- They dont' look dopey prancing around in aerobics class
- Women can get drunk on less liquor than men
- Women can be "Miss", "Mrs" or "Ms.. men are the plain boring "Mr"
- Women and children go first into the life boat
- Can cry their way out of speed tickets
- Wanna get out ofgym class? Can Pretend of having a period
- They name ships after women...aah yeah hurricanes too

Fishing on the net.

2009-02-23T02:38:00.000-08:00

INTERNET - A Magical world which has changed lives, for good or bad is a different question altogether. The internet connection at my place was down for a few hours, making me feel downcast, frustrated and disgusted[with my ISP]. When I got a casual we-will-look-into-the- issue reply from my ISP, it just capped my anger and I became as violent as the chennai lawyers. I blasted the customer support guy and called names at the company before he disconnected it. Aaah the sense of satisfaction that came upon me,these are times one realizes the importance of the middle finger.

I just decided to pen down [or rather blog down] my experiences with internet. As of now I am reading some quality management manuals from the net to give a presentation which is a part of my annual goals..unfortunately the only way I am remotely connected to kwality is the vanilla cup-icecreams which I devour. So my scope of getting good ratings post the presentation is lower than the probability of sonia gandhi beating the william sisters in a bout[tennis or boxing..though I prefer the latter].

Leaving the presentation and the associated wonderful thoughts of my boss..my first brush with internet came 6years back. The intro to internet was a simple one, my friend came up and said "Dude there is a new way to get girlfriends". With my tom cruise + brad pitt physical appearance hardly being appreciated in real world, I decided to have a shy @ the virtual world.This my friends was the noble and intellectual intention which drove me towards internet & IT revolution.

I was lucky to some extent, started chatting with filipino and indonesian girls who more often looked like a football with a cute face and all of them were identical[I know they would have felt the same about indian guys]. Add to that surfing costed a real fortune those days. So net for me was like having a pack of marijuana, addictive but with lots of ripple effects especially on my pocket.

Slowly I learnt about the magic of search engines, type in anything and lo! you get the answer. I remember my first search string 'pam anderson's ***' and had an enlightening and informative session. Finally bored with my filipino mates I typed a search string in frustration 'indian girlfriends'...yeah I am a despo but I was a patriotc despo. Jai Hind!

Thus ended my teenage (mis)adventures with the network of networks and when fate turned me into a software engineer the real power of internet dawned upon me. Guess my most exciting moment with internet came when I downloaded a program right during my semester practical exams making a few honest souls around me faint. Trust me when I say many people used me as
a case study to quote about evils of the internet.

By the tird year of college google had become my goddess, friend, lover, sometimes a brat too..on the whole an integral part of me.Helped me in my researches(useful/educative ones I meant), made me realise that I am good in writing not just in slam books but also on the web which had crazy and like mided folks.Yeah it had its not so good effects on me like making me a religious skeptic, an amateur feminist, making me to think that a person exists only if he has a mailbox or to imagine that the fellow bloggers are as good & sweet as their pages(surely I aint as wicked or despo as my page depcits me to)....and many more.

There are times I do secretly type in my first love's name and click on search hoping to find her somewhere screaming and professing her love for me,I know it sounds as intelligent as a kid showing ta ta to a flight travelling 1000s of kms above his head but still that's the magic of internet...You expect anything and everything from it.

The Art of wooing....duh!!

2009-02-16T00:17:00.000-08:00

I am almost nearing 30, ok am not sure whether I should feel sad about getting old or feel happy that I have more years of work experience and hence demand more pay. Whatsoever!! This post is not about me getting old,but about how I have totally forgotten something which I could claim I was pretty good at just a few years back - the art of wooing.

I remember the good old training batch days in my previous company,nop I wasn't a cassanova but I could atleast go up to totally unknown girl,start a topic,build an interesting conversation and a rapport[which eventually ends with exchange of phone numbers and some evenings in CCD]. But now...duh!!..to put it mildly, if I were a girl I won't fall for myself[I meant a boring, self occupied guy like me].

I have totally lost it. May be the corporate culture has made me more professional and I don't venture out of topics other than the boring,bland official ones with the pretty girls at work place, or may be I have got more mature with time and know that girls[or rather women] don't fall for cool looking/sounding strangers or may be another weird reason,my theare group, at times I say goodbye to my flirtatious alter ego[especially during auditions] since any wrong impression created by me might end up giving bad reputation to the whole theatre group[not that all the other guys involved are Ram avtars..still]..thousands of may bes but the final conclusion is that I am pretty boring man.There are times when Ms.Destiny throws me in the company of pretty girls but then approaching them?.. I am as confident as Manmohan singh facing an over from Brett lee at the Gabba pitch..duh!! again.

Sheesh..this post in going into the self sympathy mode.Hope it's fine to do it once in a while, especially after my travails last week. Last thurday was one of those rarest days where I got a good bunch of folks to visit a club, we hit a place called escape which normally overflows with stags but that lucky nite it had lot of pretty girls.Not just pretty but kinda non-committed and ready to dance with anyone kinds[chuck the fact away that they would be 18-19year olds].

Add to it I was getting lots of positive vibes from a pretty girl in turquoise blue top.Ok I know only blue,at the max sky blue,never heard about a color called turquoise. The only turqoise I know is this mineral which is the phosphate form of copper and aluminium, chemical formula CuAl6(PO4)4(OH)8·4H2O...hope you get an idea into how boring I am now. The lady who accompanied me explained it as turquoise blue [women n colors..aah...I don't mind being called color blind].Getting on with the story this TB girl [turquoise blue n not tuberclosis] was giving a sweet smile at me [or was it the effect of her vodka] and we also had a decent dance together,first time I twirled around someone without dropping the person and getting booked for attempt to muder, also the twirl was graceful ,not my normal messy hands & necks thingy.

Yet I was stuck in my own world,unable to make the move and have a proper chat with her or even strike a conversation. I had no clue as to which topic I can speak about,surely not about the chemical formula of turqoise..seriously felt like how sanjay singhania of ghajini would feel after the 15th minute. Reconciling to the fact that nothing is gonna happen I then decided to do something smarter,spend time with the folks who I had for company and we did have a fun time.

Let me stop cribbing and go n grab this book called "Art of wooing" authored by a boston based social psychologist[funky term that..wouldn't girls love to speak with me if I claim to be one]. At the same time continue sighing at the green eyed beauty in my office until I get back a little bit of that lost art. Amen!!!

Ram Sena here I come....

2009-02-05T04:02:00.000-08:00

Long hours in office and even worse, working on weekends have made sure that I don't blog often, much to the happiness of many souls who got weeded out with my last post. But then I am back..argh I sound like some wannabe tamil super star who turns around stylishly and tells "I am back" though in reality none missed me :-).

Coming back to the topic (I am resolved this time around), the disgusting act @ mangalore pub stood as a testimony for the lack of historical/cultural value of the goondas involved. What’s all the fuss about? For thousands of years alcohol has been a part of indian culture and add to it ramayan, mahabharat speak about separate shalas for drinking..now aren't they kind of pubs. So buggers better don't stop me from following my ancient traditions. Jai Shri ram ki...three cheers..hic!!

And now coming to my other grouse..the 2d Saturday of this month, the day I dread the most and my annual brush with it. Every year when the calendar in my house screams Feb.14th I feel so frustrated and hope tragedies like a nuclear war, a meteor strike or a new SRK release takes place.

Should be a case of sour grapes, I am no 'pyar ki dushman' like the hindi movie heroinee's dad. When I hear questions like 'so what you do on feb14th' or a weird stare as if I am an alien when I say 'I don't have a girlfriend', seriously feel the idea of some huge scale tragedy is better.If I sound like a despo well fine I guess I am one.. Especially a cyber despo who hunts for victims on the net so if you know me personally count your days.

This may be because I am still waiting to get my kind of girl.. I know, I know such a weird imagination, and finding that kind of girl would be as be as tough as making me wear Kareena's jeans.

My first experience of VD(valentines day..if u remember a disease with the same short form I can't help it) was during my first year of college. I was in Loyola, an all guy’s college and my gang of friends bought around 10 tickets for a movie on feb14th.It fell on the first Friday, a day where we can go an hour late to college, thanks to the holy mass. We did not have an inkling of the holy and special importance of Feb 14th. On that specific day only 4 of us cud make to the film hall and Lo!! There was a sea of humanity. Guys of different shapes, sizes and colors with girls of the same specifications had crowded there, the guys holding their partner's hands so tightly as though she is gonna run away with a better looking one and the girls giggling for sweet nothings. Maaan we really felt left out and wanted to scream our hearts, lungs, kidneys out "I too want a girl!!!” but finally my brain(sometimes it works too) thought of an idea. We decided to sell all the 10 tickets we had, what with some of the crazy morons ready to shell out a bomb for it. After bumper sales with 300% profit we had a blast of a time in our own way. So VD had created some young entrepreneurs. Hail VD and down with those who are against it.

But soon after that year the reality of VD stuck me and most of my pals did settle with one or the other (meant the girl or her close pal who was messenger of love) for a VD date. And I take utmost care as to what to do on VD, this is applicable to all singles who are reading this a) Listen to music that is the utterly unromantic probably hearing Annu mallik/Reshammiya sing a duet will give some reasons to live thru the dreaded day b) Read about love stories which have failed or of stories about a college in Chennai which suspends guys or gals if they speak with each other.

Next is selecting the right TV channel preferably sports or cartoon, if at all you enter into the music channels, sorry I can assure you that you will end up drinking rat poison or aerated drink outta depression.They normally show the love affair of the newspaper boy, dhoodhwalla, dabbawalla and who not? and this is what seriously makes me to join the Ram sena.

If you take all the above mentioned precautions, hopefully you will carry on like me with the desperate single guy (DSG..wow sounds like DGP)tag without ending up as a violent fanatic thrashing girls at pubs. Though my DSG tag is fastly moving towards the danger of being taken off,I expect it to hang in her for few more months. So guys your pretty lady colleagues, neighbour's daughter, uncle's brother-in-law's niece and every other lady whom you have a crush on are still not safe...Beware!!

Masakali...Masakali...

2009-01-24T01:10:00.000-08:00

A sleepy afternoon at office[ yes..yes...damn it!! working on a long weekend] have put masakali in a loop and am hearing it over n over again[i know that's wat happens when played in a loop still]. Addictive I say, add to it the visuals of the song which run thru my mind. A cute sonam kapoor dancing with pigeon on her head...*sigh*...she looks a bit anorexic but adorable no doubt. Also liked her guts when she took on the old vixen shoba de.

Aah did I divert the topic? happens many times... like the other day at office we started speaking about fitness, john abraham came in and then the topic drifted off to bips, her you-know-whats... well men you know. We are like boomerangs, wherever we start the discussion ends in the same thing.

Coming back to Masakali[trying to] I dont' understand 40% of the lyrics, the other 60% has challenging words repeated...like masakali,matakali,jatak,burrrr...burrr. As an amatuer lyricist-Yesss I had written english lyrics for a tamil pop album, the album was a sell out, the only two released copies were bought by the music composer and his Sasural- I am amazed by some of the lyrics in our movies songs. Imagine Rang de basanti's title track by daler the first 3 lines are of great literary value, it goes "ding ding ding ding". Having heard ARR for the past 17 years[now I feel as old as dev anand] the use of catchy words has been his trademark and best part is rarely does it sound odd. It gel's with music and yeah tough to write an alternate for daler's energetic "ding ding ding". Next time you hear a ARR composition keep an eaye[or an ear] for this.

Ok I started the previous para with the aim of highlighting the amusing lyrics I have heard but ended up praising ARR. This is getting tough, with less than 6 hours of sleep in last 48 hours at work, blood shot eyes and trying to write a comprehensible post...The new project kick off is kicking me hard, so all those whose posts I have missed...a BIG sorry, forgiveness is next to godliness. So try to take the second spot after god.

The hectic weekend brings back memories of the previous weekend. That was something which I wish I could have every time, a trip to yercaud with a cool bunch of buddies. Decided to try something out of the world and yess it was weed!!. Weedy trip I shud say, but frankly it wasn't a great or memorabe experience. Weed is not for weirdos like me I suppose. Having a drink and getting a high is ok, but smoking something and forgetting the whole sense of time & space... often thinking abt the dialogue which indian movie actors utter when they regain consciousness i.e "Mein kahan ho". It's good if the weeder[one who smokes it] has happy memories and can go on a jolly trip.....surely it's not for loser's like me :D.

As of now this post looks like a weedy post...pointless,intentless,going towards nowhere, and... argh...lemme stop it righ here. Adios....have a great weedend..err...weekend..

The weekend that was.

2009-01-11T22:39:00.000-08:00

Normally I avoid writing the year that was, thanks to my memory which is as good as an indian voter. But the weekend that passed off was a pretty active one so thought of penning it down. Will also help me in drawing up my 2009 year end post.

A bachelor party @ GRT granddays.The meal was so sumptuous that i ended up dozing in the lobby. Realized a delicious heavy meal can be a good substitute for alcohol :).No doubt gujjus eat so much, probably to get over the fact they are in a dry state :D.

Also realized I am dumb with regards to mechanics.Damn my bike.

Received the wedding invite of one of my..wat can i say..crush may be!! Went into a poignant mood n was thinking how it wud have been had my name been there.Well we never think abt how it wud be if Bush won an IQ contest, Manmohan Singh wore a pink bikini or Bappi Lahiri wins gold in an athletic meet. So lemme leave that "how it wud have been" part alone.

Another binge shopping spree, I am sure to become bankrupt soon. Will need to fake my balance sheet like Mr.Raju,only then there is a prospect of someone giving their girl to me.

Saw a movie and realized I am a very loyal lover, been in love with the same girl for the past 8years,a mean achievement amidst fickle-minded men..The girl is named aishwarya and her dad is Mr.Rai,ofcoz hubby is Mr.Abhishek and haan the movie was guru

Saturday was an activity filled day. Post the bachelor party went to a toastmasters club meeting. Was a a very normal one,until I came across anupam. He had a serious speech impairment and for speaking out a single sentence it takes 5 attempts[for framing it word by word] and more than 2 minutes.Yet he went on to speak and completed it amidst loud applauds. The kind of will power he had to overcome his issue, all my troubles and problems looked like a speck in front of that.

Then came the most happening event of the day. Thanks to some chennai bloggers, we went to a French folkdance show. As we settled down in the comfort of our chairs the organizer nick took the mic and informed it is not a show but a workshop and everyone inside the hall shud join in for the dance. Initially I planned to run out,but on seeing a few really pretty girls stay put :D.
It was total fun and some of the dances they taught were named like rigodon, polka, mazurka,farandole...Well who is bothered abt the name of the dance, most of them had guys n girls dancing with different partners :D. The dances reminded some of our kindergarden games and were fun, though energy sapping. After a long time I slept for 8hours that nite. The best add-on of the event was the 2 cute kids of the organizing couple who were running & falling all over the place and providing a different kinda entertainment.

Sunday,the same bloggers bunch and went to bookfair. Bought a book by Richard dawkins, was really cheap when compared to the price tag displayed @ posh bookshops. Just that the fair was too crowded and got out in less than 2hours to avoid death by suffocation

A kind request to folks from Bengaluruu.Me and my theatre group are planning to stage a show o'er there and if you do know any good[read as one who charges the lowest and most nominal rates :P] event management/marketing company which can help in organizing the show/sponsor hunting please do mail me at nautankey@gmail.com. Thank you in advance.

Adios

Ode to grandma...

2009-01-07T22:03:00.000-08:00

An old one, got reminded as the anniversary nears....

She left me with her flowers and
her roof top garden with its spinache and carrots.
But she forgot to take our evenings in the terrace together,
the smell of her cotton sarees and
the sound of my name the way she pronounced it.

She left me with the taste of her pickles and stories of moral
and a set of holy books in her closet.
But forgot to take her worn out gold bangles and
the touch of her bony soft hands on my head.

She left me a red wollen sweater
all knit by hand for months together.
But forgot to take her glasses by the cot
and her white shawl in the bed.

She left her warm smile
and the holy beads, her companion for awhile
I am saving them all
as I expect her to return by the fall.

Scriptopdia

2009-01-04T23:58:00.000-08:00

As I was stuck with the thoughts of what to write for my blog. I realized once again I am being silly,why write specifically for my blog? why not post something which I am writing otherwise. Especially scripts for our group.

One such Work-In-Progess script's rough excerpt are below. Warning: suitable for mature audience :P. Hope after reading this there are no mass new year resolutions taken on not going to my play :D

The situation: A haunted bungalow.
Mr.G - A Fake Ghostbuster dressed up in full black suit and blackshades, sadly stuck in a place with real ghosts.
Gokee - Ghost of an eunuch
[Lights come upon Mr.G fiddling with his gadget]

Gokee [walking in and ruffling the hair of G]: Aah a new customer..in full suit! Pretty
interesting. Did you die trying to imitate Will Smith?

Mr.G[Pretty shaken]: Who..Who are you?

Gokee: I am Gokee. Well if you see me as a man I am gokul and if you are sensual enough to
see me as a woman I am the gorgeous gokila.

Mr.G: And what are you doing here?

Gokee: That's my line mister. I am the queen of this place. [gets closer] So tell me sweety what do you want? I have been a man and a woman.I have experienced both and I know it all.

Mr.G : What do you mean?

Gokee: To put it simple. I have experienced both the male and femal orgasms. The male one which you are looking for is the simplest - relatively long frictions result in a small explosion and a little bit of moaning and panting,that's it!!. The woman's is pretty complex I'd say, how do they define it ..a complicated sequence of actions Or hmm wait the dictionary would define it something like - a continous and imperative series of neurophysiological reactions which aims in achieving the climax of sensual feeling.Ugh..how much more vague can that get.

Mr.G: Stop that will ya!! I am not here looking for that.

Gokee: Then anything more interesting?...wait a second! you don’t look like a ghost to me. You are.. you are a human.

Mr.G: Well... err ...I am …but ..how did you find it out.

Gokee: I died way back in 1990 in these 15 plus years of service I haven’t seen a ghost with a hard on. So what are you doing over here ?

Mr.G: I am a ghost buster

Gokee: Eh? You mean you have fetish for busts of ghosts, pretty unique I’d say

Mr.G: Shut up!! I am one who chases away ghosts

Gokee: Argh..I have had enough. I was chased a lot when I was alive

Mr.G: Means?

Gokee: Technically speaking I was this woman in a man’s body. Called as eunuch, oh people call me as chakka. My family chased me away when they found this out. Then started my tough struggle in the roads and streets. The cops chased me for money and free service, street urchins chased me for cheap sex, pimps chased me for a cut in commission and finally I died when a group of drunks were chasing me. I fell into a manhole. How oxymoronic, a manhole. Men were chasing me just for that, the hole. And now I have you, who wants to chase me away from here. Funny isn’t it ? being chased even in your afterlife.

Mr.G: I don’t find anything funny. You better leave now or I shall use my super ghost
buster beam. Patented to Ghosts and Spirits inc, busting ghosts the spirited way.

Gokee: Let’s see who is getting busted [Gokila goes into dark. The laughing sound resonates]

Mr.G : Where are you? Now be man enough..err..woman enough …huh.. whatever, be a spirited
ghost and face me.

Randomnophobia...

2009-01-02T02:47:00.000-08:00

Saw the long queues in front of temples yesterday and suddenly felt a whiff of fresh air blowing on me alone. There are advantages of being an atheist seriously, I need not be bothered about

The Big eye watching me from the sky
The kurma..err..Karma of all my actions
Availbility of virgins in heaven
What I am gonna be in my next birth
Santaclaus getting me a gift
Memorizing!! Hell I can't mug up to save my life. Can give rest to my weak brain which is bad at these. Need not mug up religious scriptures, especially when there are more than hundred versions of them around.
Long queues. Finally I can relax on festival days, have a drink with friends, spend time with family - more priceless than spending time the long winding queues to get darshans.

Abar had tagged me for the "All in fours" tag...so here I go

4 places I go over and over:

The cubicle in right end corner of my floor(Made friends with the guy who sits there, so I can go meet him and also take a look at my latest green eyed crush :P)
Mirchi - A restaurant near my place, love the food and the hospitality.
Office cafetaria :)
Well...not sure if i have any more.. probably the loo :P

4 people who e-mail me regularly

All my PG classmates n rebelz folks
Some blog friends
Ex-colleagues
Off late my HR

4 of my favorite places to eat

The mirchi one I mentioned
Opel inn
Cascade
The nameless fastfood shop near my place which is open till 2 AM

4 places you’d rather be NOW

My college
My previous company-to make the folks who are being pink slipped laugh and bring a smile with my somewhat tolerable sense of humor.
In front of my computer playing Age of Empires
In some rave party :)

4 TV shows I could watch over and over

Seinfeld
Medical Detectives
World's scariest places
Mr.Bean

4 movies I could watch over and over

Mambo kings
Roja
Ace ventura series
Thillu mullu

4 people I hope will respond
My new year resoultion - Not to pass tags :)

My merciless neighbour[pun intended :-)] Swarna had awarded me the favourite commentator award. I am really honoured, thank you fellow burrper. Need to pass this on to people whose comments have adorned my blog, I would want to list out everyone in my blogroll. Still I am handing it over to the following people. Those who felt left out, don't abuse me you may be breaking one of ur new year resolutions :P. I have just left out for my poor awardees to pass this on. Rule for the awards

Display the Award in your page
Award them to your favourite commentators
Ask them to forward it to their favourite commentators
And don't forget to link their page to their names

Here are my awardees - people who are patient enough to leave a comment in this crappy place
Meher , Aparna
Bhargavi, Arvind
Verby, Kanupriya
Curious, Smita

Les Scribblings.....

2008-12-25T04:24:00.000-08:00

I know my frequency of unloading crap here is getting pretty high, let's say as high as Salman's flops and those with sanity wud try hard to catch up and fail, akin to Amarsingh's attempts of catching up with a speeding PT.Usha [pronounced as ushey by her fellow statemates]...the obvious expected excuses can be something like "You know a celebrity script writer's life,too many things to occupy.Wachowski bros have just fixed an appointment with me"..."Oh I was really busy with this challenging project at work..which was about increasing the lending rates of blah...blah..blah"..or something even better... "Gimme a break folks, I have time just enough to take my girlfriend to candle lit dinner at spanish restaurants..cuddling up with her in inox.. and swiping her billionaire dad's credit card all over the city".

Sadly I have not done any of the above mentioned attractive activities and remained a lazy bum roaming pointlessly and covering 50kms a day in my bike which gives a nice vibrating effect to some unmentionable parts of your body making you lie down on your face in the nights..ok hold your breath..that was one looong sentence.

Our show got over last sunday and I am happy as well as sad. Happy that all the 3 shows were houseful and the response overwhelming, sad that it is over and my good old friend- emptiness has crept back. No check lists to see if things are in place, no deadlines to pursue, no asses to keep kicking and following up.

The only thing I do at work is conduct technical interviews to recruit for our new client. And am pretty confused with these interviews and our auditions, trust me when I think the reason why I reject a candidate is his/her mother tongue influence or lack of stage presence....something tells me there is a praablem. I mean why do we need all those things for a mundane programmer. Luckily I have this judging sheet with reasons and I tick the logical reasons. The best part is my boss, who conducts the second round of interview. He is a music fanatic and rejects people saying their voice is bad and they won't sound good to the client with whom we wud be havin only phone communicaton. Thinking about it I feel happy and confident abt my singing prospects as he had chosen me...MLTR here I come :)

I am so sure and can swear on Obama's six packs that the past 4 days have been the most wasted and uninteresting part of the year for me. Other than learning how to operate my new Sony flat screen, untie the lace of my reebok shoe and polishing my Rolex watch [Yup!! I bought them all in a binge shopping spree and I love boasting].. there has been nothing happening.

Wow!! I have written more than 150 words about emptiness, signs of a great writer I say.The emptiness does make me think..I know, serious thoughts and me ? It's is like a tweety bird tattoo on arnold's arms..a real misfit. That's what happens with emptiness, makes us feel weird and question what we r gonna do in life...our priorities and folks around us.

The more I think about it the more uneasy it becomes..it makes me emotional that I end up hearing himesh reshammiya for 2hours at a stretch or at worse stage try to find the eye lashes of our PM manmohan singh. Still I am not gonna let this make me feel down, I am a mentally strong guy who has withstood a live concert of udit narayan singing in tamil and had a new year resolution list which had marrying pamela anderson as one of the things to-do.

Ten years ago there was no emptiness as I need to study..get a good job..and a decent pay packet so that I need not sell my kidney or wife's mangal sutra for getting milk bikis for munna.. After I got a job there still were so many thing to learn in my career like back biting, ditching team mates, finding the marital status of the pretty girls in office etc,.,

Now this emptiness and question of purpose comes in..well..nothin serious probably spend my life having fun, eating & drinking in the best restaurants with pals, doing plays and yeah there r more pretty girls in the new office so find their marital status..but this emptiness...aargh get a bottle of Absolut Vodka puhhleasee..letz fill it up. Waiting for the weekend....

In case I get too drunk to put a new post. Wish ya all a happy new year!! and let there be happiness alone in this year.Try to be happy with the small things life has to offer...bcoz thanks to recession big things aint coming my friend.

Some old poetry.

2008-12-23T07:00:00.000-08:00

As I lay in my couch to get my long vanished sleep,
My heart thinks of her.....thoughts so deep.
The morning sun tries to awaken me but I could do
nothing but cry,
Why do some give us those splendid moments and
turn around to lie?

Love is a tough taskmaster and gives us heart breaks
thru ones whom we loved and cared,
The ones with whom we dreamt that our bliss and distress will
forever be shared.

Days have passed since my heart loved her last,
Whilst I try to forget that painful past,
Knowing well that wud happen when death ferries her mast.

Well I know too much attempt at rhyming-whyming but then that's what poetry is when you were 19 :-)

One pipty tag !!

2008-12-16T03:09:00.000-08:00

Wogay looks like till 21st my mind will be on a strike and nothing useful or cohesive will come out, those who think when has it given useful/cohesive thoughts are to be presented with a fully paid holiday package to afghanistan!!.

Thanks to these tags this space is surviving. Was tagged by the revenrend GoST Zephy, it was about making bold all the things I had done in my short useless life. Since it was just coloring work took it up with a glee :-). Here it goes.

01. Bought everyone inthe bar a drink - Will do it the day Big B's bahu walks out of his house and comes to me
02. Swam with dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree - The guava tree in my old house before shifting. Was a sentimental moment
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea - Some resort in ECR we were in tents and watching the lighting storm, in few mins the downpur drenched us
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise - After the drenching sleeping in wet dress was not a good idea
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game - If the cric matches @ Chepauk are counted
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa - May be the annanagar tower
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables - onions and bananas
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars - when we had power cuts and no generator back ups
20. Changed a baby’s diaper - My almost 2yr old nephew is what we call an urine tanker, needs a change once in an hour.
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower - I aint a karan johar fan
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment - Actually the worst possible moment worsens after this fit
27. Had a food fight - Everyday in school and college
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger - And did not pursue as she wanted her hubby n kid to come along
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can - Yes I do sing
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse (On TV)
34. Ridden a roller coaster - Kishkinta and VGP :)
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking - Thats what happens when we get drunk with champagne
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day - Eeeth was the Arabian accenth
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment - Everytime I see my pay cheque
39. Had two hard drives for your computer - Once had 4 connected and formatted the wrong one
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk - Comrades in arms
42. Had amazing friends - Not sure if they share the feelings
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love - Well movies run for 3 hours but hearbreak lasts pretty long,latesht sameera
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them - It was a pretty crowded restaurant and not much of a choice for me as well as him.
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero - I am hollowman in all my team meetings
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theatre
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business - kind of though can't call it a full fledged one
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken - still feeling lucky about that
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo - The stick ons and painted ones
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on a television news program as an “expert”
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on Stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten Shark - Baby shark, what they call sura puttu
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone - Do ya count my hosue during mom n dad's fights :P
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over - planning to do this in 2009
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking with the windows open - Do that even in bike
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived - And realized walking in railway tracks in not the smartest thing to do
105. Wrote articles for a large publication - Two of them, wish I was still doing that
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback - Do that often as I hate flashbacks
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a TV game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol - At Marina beach
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse - Marina beach again
119. Had major surgery - root canal can't be called major naa
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period - After a walk to tirupathi
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about - About being a teetotaller :)
130. Gone back to school - And felt miserable at its current sate
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach (I stamped it accidentally! Eeeeeks!!)
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read - Don't ask me who it was
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating - Felt horrible after that and did not touch meat for 3-4 months
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language - It was hilarious and awesome
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you - If lyrics is considered as art work
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair - Burgndy it was
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life - And felt happy that my blood is from the universal donors group

61.. .Hmm guess I have had an ok life!!. Left the tagging other's part as I thought it's too long a tag to be taken up with a smile :)... But have found people who can still do this with a smile, so I hereby tag Aparna, Swarna, Bhargavi and Vimmuuu.

Thinking out loud.

2008-12-11T03:10:00.000-08:00

Thanks to all the tags I was able to get out of a small block which I was going thru,but now with our show nearing I better not have any blocks and clogs.

Wanted to write more about the Mumbai blasts,but then there is a sudden vaccuum which envelopes me, followed by an all encompassing numbness.What is the point in venting it out in virtual world, signing petitions, calling names etc,. I find it adding on to the frustration and helplessness.Meanwhile came across this hard-hitting article by Gnani, it makes us raise more questions.

Something which my layman senses fail to grasp is the blasting of politicians. Accepted, most if not all of them are corrupt and hopelessly selfish,but then they have not jumped from the skies.They are a part of the system,so the blame is equally on the whole nation and every individual. We had a peace march where politicians were mocked and names called. Leaving alone the questions about whether there was a protest march when a fellow indian was beaten to death[by indians] just bcoz he came in search of livelihood to a different city,I still get questions,questions and more.

Mumbai[and the other 'metro' cities] has a voter turnout percentage which is pretty low compared with 'troubled' jammu and kashmir.When we don't participate in the process of selecting our rulers why hold them responsible now.It's like an atheist blaming god for the tsunami.

The oft repeated excuse is ofcourse - none of them are worth to be voted to power, why should I vote. But that too does not hold good now with 490 [though it's final implication are not known yet]. During the previously held assembly elections I had resoved to make use of this provision but was warned by friends and family about backlash from the party poll observers. After seeing quite a number of thugs around the polling booth my bravery failed and I cowered[though one of my friend's parents did do it successfully].Voted for a guy who I thought was the most educated and the best amongst the lot,as expected he lost. Felt really hopeless and had an urge to take a AK-47,go door-to-door and kill the so called elite class who did not move their ass out during election day,but sat in their couches and were watching/analysing/criticizing the results

If I did sound like painting a glorious pic of our netas,well that was not my aim. My only grouse when I saw the angry protesters was the knowledge everyone had in advance -it was a march in vain, may have given fodder for the news hungry media, may have given platform for some NGOs but whats the change that can be done with this.Though it hurts, the answer is ...Zilch

Phew!!When i started this blog I had resolved not to write about religion and politics but then looks like its not gonna leave me :)..

Also take this oppurtunity to thank Bhargavi and Vimmuuu for their sweet awards. Bhargavi for the "Proximidade" scroll .

This award is given to a blog that invests and believes in PROXIMITY – nearness in space, time and relationships! These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award

And Vimmu for a shiny little cup..The first I have got in my life,thanks dude.

Passing the awards on to Curious, Sindhu, Zephy, Verby, Kanupriya ..hmm guess all others have got them.

And have also got verby aka abhithakuchalambal's tag to do. Movie Quirks of mine, I rarely watch movies at theatre, so pretty limited list I have here.

I wanna watch the movie from the beginiing,right from the first films division reel they play[it's not more done though] till last line of the credits rolling out.I curse my friends due to whom I may end up missing the first few scenes,even if it is seconds.
I can watch movie with anyone,I mean no restrictions in going out to movies with met-a-few-secs bfore pals.I feel watching movie and later discussing about it makes us get closer and well acuqainted.
I have an OCD with regards to leak points in movie halls.I hate to use them unless until the situation is explosive :P
Love to watch the movies of big stars and the kinda frenzy the fans go once the hero comes on stage.I get goosebumps and used to wish someday I will be a hero like that :)
Used to re-enact the scenes of some average/mediocre[let's leave the names now] stars at home in front of mirror.
Hate couples who make out in movie halls,not that I am jealous just that I feel it is sick.

That's all so far....This looks like a 4 in 1 post :)..not too sure about my time till 21st december, so thought of getting everything done.

Quote...unquote...

2008-12-07T22:49:00.000-08:00

So I have some 4-5 tags which are pending. As of now going ahead with the bossy girl's tag of listing out quotes which I have come across. It's the easiest task for me as I keep changing the quotes in my official email singnature on a weekly basis, to impress ...well..you-know-who :P

Here they come.
[1] From the movie Matrix- Agent Smith: I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment, but you humans do not. You move to an area, and you multiply, and multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet, you are a plague, and we are the cure.

[2] From Braveheart - I will tell you of William Wallace. Historians will call me a liar, but history is written by those who've hanged heroes.

[3] From Dirty Harry
Harry : Well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy.
Mayor : Intent? How did you establish that?
Harry : When a man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross!

Yikes...I did sound like a movie freak.Sadly most of my real life lines too are very much movie inspired :).. trying some quotes which are not filmy.
[4] Those who wish to sing,always find a song

[5]Peace isn't merely the absence of conflict, but the presence of justice.

And this was one which I loved a lot "For me the Internet is just yet another way of being rejected by women"...and the second best was "In god we trust...others we virus scan". Sindhu has really got me started now.Trying my best to stop the flow of quotes :)

Anyone who wishes to take this up are welcome.

Train to Tambaram.

2008-12-01T20:43:00.000-08:00

After putting up a post with the picture of a rather bloody railway station I decided to write something positive about my train experiences. The other trigger was my qucik trip to kerala. It was really quick, imagine spending 36 hours in travel and 5 hours in cochin. My back is still sore after the trip and given a choice I would have watched the latest Mike Myers movie thrice a day....

The most vivid and recent memories of train travel is the one I used to have to my previous company. It was a daily train travel to Tambaram [the first time I saw the board I read it as Tam-Bram as in tamil brahmin,too much influence of matrimonial sites you see :P], which lies in the outskirts of Chennai city.

Train travel has always been an enthralling experience for me, right from my days in kinder garden. You are advised not to go as far as the Jurassic age for this. I am quite young, just 5 years and a few months, the value of few being 275.

As a kid, traveling by train was a special occasion akin to a travel in a time machine. It came once a year during the summer vacation trip to my grandma's place. Innumerable sights and scenes fill me up - the noise of the screaming vendors, the hustle bustle of railway station, suitcases that come in different dimension, potpourri of unique co-passengers and much more.

Once inside the train the moving landscapes and the excitement to climb onto the top most berths were added incentives. The other memories which strike me are the innocence and trust while hearing wide eyed to my sister's stories about fifty men pushing and pulling the train from the platform for its move and halt, the greedy wish to buy everything selling on the platform and of course the earful I get from my mom after failed attempts to climb to the top berth. As I recall these, a nostalgic cloud surrounds me and makes me feel as old as a tortoise. Obviously while the journey up to my grandma's place was full of fun like a bullish investor, the return one was as sad as that of an investor run over by the bears and waiting for a bail out.

From an eight-hour journey in a 15 bogey express train to a thirty minutes journey in a nine compartment electric train, the differences do remain. But the soul is the same, be it the rattling ku-chiku sound, the smell of iron in my palms or the interesting characters I come across.

There had been occasions, which give bad experiences. Like this guy who dropped a huge sack- which many guessed had Mike Tyson in it- right on my leg and gave a reaction as though I had hurt his parcel. The girl who gave this bewildered here-is-the-most-wanted-serial-rapist look when I had just enquired for the name of the station which passed by or the obnoxious old man who was shocked to know I can read tamil while all along he was thinking I am an alien from a different galaxy. He started to correct each and every syllable I pronounced. It is a weird package indeed.

Yes accepted, the good things do come along in this package. Be it the cute and pretty girl who got onto the 8:12 AM train at my station and gives a small chuckle or the hot girl from who comes in the 8:00 train. It made my time schedule go as crazy as a tom cruise on the Oprah winfrey show.

Rarely, I did get a chance to travel with a bunch of pals from my training batch. The whole journey turns lively and is full of fun and banter, after the end of the party we used to take a resolution about group trip once a week. Ten days later a mail would peep out and remind us of our resolution. Life just went on like the train with joy and sorrow being the two tracks’. Oh! Am I getting philosophical here?

The funniest things in the trains are the stick-on ads. Paper ads stuck for sexual potency and to increase the size of manhood or to stay erect. Good lord!! Aren’t we folks obsessed with it? Yet we say no to sex education of kids. Hope they don’t learn that from these so called therapy quacks.

The train gets its primetime obviously when the students step in. With their group songs, meaningless jokes followed by loud hearty laughs and the graffiti on train walls...we can see some wonderful couplets like "unnai kandein ennai marandhein...un thangayai kandein unneya marandhein". A literal translation would be … I saw you and forgot myself...saw your sister and oh I forgot you! These couplets would be decorated with hearts and piercing arrows rented from Cupid and of course the couples’ name in the middle. It should be sheer coincidence that many times the guy’s name remains the same while the girl’s keep changing in every heart.

The atmosphere is radically opposite during the night times when none but the breeze keeps me company and sometimes a beat constable gets into the compartment to catch a small nap up to the next station. His loud, reverberating snores give the confidence to travel the distance alone. The station would have become the bedroom for the beggars and street urchins who owned it during the day. The otherwise old n weak lady who stands in the steps and pleads for mercy costing Rs.1 a pinch can be seen shouting and acting as the boss of the place, commanding folks and demarcating the borders for other legions. It’s a puzzle as to what kind of disease strikes her in the mornings to make her so weak and frail.

The street urchins who plead for something to be given can be seen smoking pot or some cheap drug with an air of supremacy about it. They do try out different styles and mannerisms to leave the smoke out of their lungs via the mouth, I am sure movie super stars can get some style lessons here.

The daily travel offered so many things to view, enjoy and relish yet I used to see folks immersing themselves in a book or their gizmos in a train...weird world.... I hope to continue my train travel saga with lots of interesting things for years to come.

A poem I came across

The rain streams across the window panes;
the hills loom sombre though the failing light;
the carriages sing steel along the rails;
the brooks rush brown and fierce through the fields;
autumn is torn to pieces by the storm;
night falls, and I am homeward bound.

For the darkest night of my nation.

2008-11-26T20:40:00.000-08:00

I saw the blood flowing and the Taj in flames,
even though it was only on TV screens

I could feel the terror going thru the innocent's veins,
and imagining their frightful screams

Loved ones waiting for them to return,
not knowing bullets are buring their dreams.

Killers unbothered about flesh & blood fighting for an unseen god
who can only make sure they rot in hell's regimes

We will make them pay for every blood spilt
And defeat their pay master's evil schemes

The cowardly act will shatter many a lives
but we won't cower,that's how India survives.. that's how democracy and freedom thrives

It eez awards time...

2008-11-26T01:37:00.000-08:00

Thanks to verby, I have got a pretty butterfly as an award from her. Actually this is the second award in my 25+ years of existence[celebrities don't reveal their true age..ok wannabe celebs too]. The first being the stainless steel tiffin box I won for sack race in my 3rd Grade [Once upon a time me too was an athlete].And aah, I also did win a sachin tendulkar poster during my high school days,this was in a "name-the-chimp" contest by camel stationeries. I named the chimp as Simbu[apologies to his fans].

Without beating about bush or Mccain, lemme detail some rules about this award.

Put the logo on your blog
Link the person who awarded it to you
Link the bloggers you are about to honour

The ones I would pass it on to are:
Sindhu Meher - Because kids love awards :-)
Praddy - The one who introduced me to blogging[now those who can't stand my posts you know where to send the email bombs to :P] and taught a few tricks.
Prasad - Reasons?..Hmm..bcoz he is Maamz :) Actually he typifies the adjective cool to the tee.
Curious cat - The most artistic blogger I have come across.
Aparna - Well... bcoz she is the mother of A ...LOL!!
Bhargavi - Bcoz I respect elders a lot ;-)

I would love to award everyone in my blogroll but then not too sure how many would like this...And yes folks please pass on the awards. I wish all are happy and there is world peace [aren't these the words Miss World awardees parrot :)].

Paraprosdokian..

2008-11-18T01:11:00.000-08:00

I decided to put up a post as a few folks started spreading news that I am keeping my old one to collect comments-which incidentally is true. So if you have stepped in here better leave a comment else I will trace your IP, stalk you and then make you watch the latest Mike Myers movie thrice.

Why am I expecting comments?..why is my boss expecting me to work? or why do we have expectations at all....some great soul once told

"The best things in life are ones we get unexpectedly - because there were no
expectations".

That's actually very true,it gives so much joy.Imagine none expected Obama to win when he was nominated, the skeptical ones commented - A black man in the White House? already some have made it but they carry a broom!!. But then the world is elated now...

Try following any of those new age gurus. Guru A says expectations are the root of all evils, Guru B says love the world and expect joy to come out of that love. Though the concept of getting away frome expectations sounds as easy as one of the khan brothers stripping their shirts, in reality its so tough. I too have my own list of expectations

Expected my visit to a the transport office for leraner's license would be smooth, given the new smart card n other techie developments but then...phew!
Expected my boss to sanction my two days leave application with a smile and send me off for the vacation with a hug and bouquet.
Expected my first love to succeed and live happily ever after with her.But it failed(so did my 2nd,3rd,4th....n to the power of nth)!!
Expect others not to expect seriousness from me. I am happy with the joker image amongst close friends. Once attempted changing it during college days, by maintaining a stiff upperlip and a straight face,but it lead to many to think that either I am suffering from constipation or that my zipper got stuck.
Expect people will stop playing "Truth or dare",during a recent round realized the amount of skeletons in my closet[have decided to donate some to the madras medical college].It's a silly game which makes many cringe thinking what to tell out and what not to.
Expect the hawwwt bong girl[dammmn hot!! has green eyes and can beat the new bond girls] at work to smile back at me, and finally she does then comes over to my desk hands over her wedding invite.
Expect everyone to stop laughing when bosses/clients[in undecipherable accents] joke in conferences. It's as though there was a clause in our employment agreement which implies we should laugh for those things.Went thru one for 45mins today.
Expect I get more knowledge about englees music. Recently a colleague asked whether I listen to iron maiden,and I replied I listen only to my mom and not some unknown maids.She gets exasperated and moves off.

I know everyone or atleast most of us are good deep inside our hearts[though we might have stoned stray dogs as kids, smoked weed, filled the petrol tank of the bad professor's bike with sand/sugar, cursed aish for marrying abhi or vice versa] except that when expectations seep in we are unable to control the disappointment if they are not fulfilled.

P.S:Not sure if the title meant anything. Wanted to keep some random rhetoric word. Let me google to find the meaning. Expecting to get the perfect result....

An unfair world.

2008-11-05T03:18:00.000-08:00

With the arranged marriage drama going with full josh in mine as well as my other friends’ places ["You guys are in the wrong side of 20s and if it become 30 no one will give girl for you"-a pretty threatening warning from my friend's mom].One thing which stuck me was the matrimonial ads - Fair, slim, good looking girl. The four letter F word [don’t let skewed thoughts take over your mind I meant-FAIR] is like THE priority for the search.

I vividly remember the ad where the father of an ex-not-so-pretty girl exclaims 'Kundali mil gayee' after she turns pretty using the Fair n Sickly cream and bumps into handsome young man. Though I wish we had many more sportive fathers like that, my mind starts processing the question why Indians are obsessed with fairness. This obsession has no gender bias,while all the girls want the color of nicole kidman the guys too with the advent of specialized male fairness creams want a piece of the cake[SRK ad was seriously Ewww I could digest his bath tub adventure].

If I am gonna claim that I don’t get attracted to the lighter skinned ones that would be like Mullah omar taking white lilies to the American air bombers. But then more than the color its the complexion which plays an important role. Sadly the gullible consumers don’t know the difference between color and complexion and get fooled by the false claims of fairness cream ads.

The Indian fairness cream market is worth a whopping 800 crore so why would they think about ethics to put up racist ads. It’s an open secret that fairness creams don’t make us fair. Unless until they can go through the epidermis [the outer layer of skin] they can no way make us fair. But then they can whiten us temporarily like bleaching agents by reducing melanin.

So why all this gyaan about fairness now? Well last week this supposedly enlightened blog owner went to a beauty salon, fell for the sweet talk of lady receptionist and agreed to get a skin lightening treatment done, total cost only 2k!! The beautician was waxing eloquence of how I would look after two days with the effect of the treatment blooming on my face then. The net result-well it has been 4 days since and the cute delhiwali across my bay who used to give a coy smile has stopped that too. Thanks for all the blooming.

This is a nation where even the gods are obsessed with color, imagine Lord Krishna asking his mommy Yashoda - "Radha kyun gori, main kyun kaala?" meaning "Why is Radha so fair, while I am so dark?”. What am I a mere mortal when compared to that :-) . So next time I am gonna try that skin de-pigmentation treatment which costs twice the GDP of Rwanda, let me check the blooming effect then.

Who knows may be the girls are asking for fair, handsome guy with 6-packs in matrimonial ads. Let me have at least one of those. Or even better I may be noticed in any of the media parties which I get invites by mistake and bag a chance to act in movies. Then you guys would see me in Page 3 or in a stardust cover with my right hand around Katrina, left on Minisha Lamba, Genelia pleading to give her the half eaten apple in my hand and ......hmmmm life is a weird cauldron indeed :-)

Qwirky Tag..

2008-10-22T22:59:00.000-07:00

So here is my first tag on this new blog...Tagged by Abarna,yup the lady blog rolled as
abar-p o'er here. Firstly I had a tough time to find the meaning of the word Quirky, thanks
to google I found it. Going into this tag, I have to list 6 quirky[strange,odd,bizarre]
qualities of me.

1. I am a chronic liar[CL].I mean if you havent got a hang of how chronic it is from my previous
post. Let me explain,if someone wakes me up in the sleep and asks me where I was the last
weekend I am capable of making up a bluff and tell it out convincingly.I dont remember one
person to whom I haven't bluffed :)

More folks realized this is quirky during my recent UG class reunion. Met an ugandan
classmate who sat near me. During good ol' days the poor soul once asked the name of a
classmate and me being the CL told it is rajinikanth,so by the end of the year thanks to me
he had met amitabh bachan,kamalhassan,mamooty,hrithik and even karishma n urmila in the
boys college.Now, after 8 years in India he had realized who they were :). Trying to curtail
the CL,but then I am having fun :P

2.I have these weird wishes about my future wife. I dream of this shy,coy bharatia
naari[yeah typical MCP] who draws a da vinci painting with her feet and is
capable of laughing for my PJs even if she is hearing them for the 127th time. Infact I did
put this up as expected qualities in shaadi.com and my sis suggested I rather put the
expectations with my snap in ebay.com as it had more prospective bidders.

3.I take the cream in cream biscuits and discard the biscuits. Started this habit when I
was 4 or so and it has stuck to me.Interestingly my 2year old nephew has got the same
problem but with a reversal.He eats the biscuits and discards the cream.So my sis opens the
cream biscuit packet only when we both are around.

4.I can't have tablets without chocolates.Another childhood idiosyncrasy, should blame my
mom. I can't have tablets without having a sweet or chocolate to munch in after I swallow
the tab. I tried to get over it but i simply cant.

5.My dressing sense.It has been branded as quirky by most of them.Well you can't blame
someone who has Govinda as his style icon.I find it pretty normal when I buy a yellow pant
or a fluorescent bermuda.Some call it gawdy but I call it desi :).So next time you find
someone choosing the gawdiest color of dresses or ice cream in baskin n robbins..greet me!

6.I am too jovial.It IS quirky bcoz I am jovial even in serious se serious situations.
Situations which are given tragic violin strings in movie re-recordings somehow are funny
to me.I can put a long post on that.An example:Sis gets diagnosed with blood sugar during
maternity, everyone at home are worried and the typical violin stringing moment. I come in
and they explain the situation, my reaction "wow so we are gonna have a sweet baby".
Misplaced sense of humor I say..

I would like to tag: Sindhu, Prasad, Arpita, Swattalk, Zephy

..And anyone who does'nt mind taking it up :)

Liar...Liar

2008-10-14T21:56:00.000-07:00

I have had this chronic lying ability [or is that a disability] right from….hmmm..well my birth I suppose. Thought of writing a post to share it .

Let me take you back in time, to my primary schooling days…now now..no need to go as far as 1947. It was the mid 80s and I was in my 2nd grade. The talk of the town was a movie called “enter the dragon”, Bruce lee’s personality, stunts, fights were the things every kid in my class was talking about. Not to be left behind I bluffed to the kid sitting next to me that I had seen enter the dragon thrice. That was it…some five boys surrounded me and were begging to tell the story of the movie. So there I was narrating the story of a movie, which I had not even seen in posters.

The movie started off in a dark forest with streaks of light passing through the trees…on one side was the deadly, beastly, ugly looking dragon spitting fire and on the other side our cool and whacky Bruce lee ready to kick its ass … Until my 6th grade when I finally did see the actual movie I never knew enter the dragon did not feature a dragon at all. How misleading the titles of Hollywood movies are for young impressionable minds.

So my story, rather, my graphic story telling became quite famous and I had boys surrounding me during lunchtime, intervals, even games period and listening to it. Not just my class kids but kids from other sections and even from 3rd grade were in queue. Every time I tell the story there would be a new point added probably inspired by some latest tamil movie I saw..like murattukalai or a thambikku endha ooru.

Desi twists were added so that my listeners could relate more. So we had the dragon killing Bruce lee’s family ….his father who was a honest cop in forest department, mother, sister brother et al…and Bruce lee was taking revenge on it. Kills all the dragon’s henchmen…err… I mean henchdragons and then goes on to kill the main villain dragon in the grand climax.

Incidentally there was a guy from 3rd grade who had seen the actual movie and told to my listeners that there were no dragons in the movie…But…none…not even one of my listeners believed him…In fact I am sure even if Bruce lee had personally turned up and told them the real story they would not have believed it. Reminds me of a Winston Churchill quote ..“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on”.

Another incident, which I remember, took place during my 4th grade. That was the first time we started using pens. From boring wooden pencils to pens of different colors, shapes and models, every kid was excited. Here started my new game. As per the rules of the game we should sprinkle ink on a small sheet of paper and then fold into eight. When we open it Lo! And behold the abstract sketch of what we were in our past life will be revealed. Only catch is the pattern can be deciphered by the one and the only – Yours truly the holy nautanki baba. All my classmates used to bring their piece of paper to me, I just connect those sprinkled ink dots to make a figure and conclude that the person was something. Since I was good in psychology I dealt it efficiently. All my girl followers were rabbits, peacocks, birds and other sweet n cute things,., and the boys used to be lions, tigers and dragons. Of course the class bullies were made pigs and dogs.

This game went on for almost a month. Until one fine day when the class teacher got hold of me. The rest as they say was history. I was made to stand on a bench and my teacher gave a lecture on superstitions. I tried to argue with her and even offered her my new ink pen and a piece of paper to prove I am right. She was a hard customer I say.

I better save my other exploits for more posts..probably can have sequels.. As a saying goes “He who cannot lie does not know what truth is”. In fact all my lies were a journey to find the truth. Do you believe me?

Minority Report from Orissa...with a difference.

2008-10-12T08:50:00.000-07:00

So Ratan Tata has got land for the 'People's Car'.....so Mr.Tata has finally realized what an efficient and magnanimous man Mr.Modi is..tch..tch...sad he did not know what an angel Mr.Modi is and had kept off from gujju land post gujarat riots.Well there are no permanent enemies in politics and business...

Forgetting the People's car and Mr.Tata's enlightenment..the issue which actually irks me is the deadly Dhamra port of Tata steel at Orissa. Dhamra is known for the Olive Ridley turtles nesting sites... It is amongst the last honeymoon suites for the remaining Olive Ridleys, a highly-endangered species that swims all the way here from places as far away as Australia and the Philippines.

Poor Olive Ridleys they don't have a Pope who can give voice for them from rome unlike the other minorities who have support for their cause in orissa. The maximum I could do is going to http://www.greenpeace.org/turtles and sending a mail.

Ofcourse dear Ratan and Tata are going to claim all the one lakh mails they received thru this site are orchestrated efforts.What can we say about a business empire which ignores request of close to one Lakh TATA customers to shift the the port, nor cares for the vain pleas of over 200 national and international scientists and academics, including over 30 turtle experts, demanding for the port to be stopped.

Dhamra is not just known for turtles but its also home to the rare Crab-eating Frog, and the White-bellied mangrove snake.Aaah bio diversity....my foot says Ratan who is hell bent in changing the legacy left by JRD.

For once I feel like screaming my lungs out "Hail Mamata!!!"...And yeah will try to boycott the Tata products...well actually I have already rejected an offer from TCS, not due to the turtles but for more reasons..and solved confusions about my first car.It was indica v2 or wagonR ...now I know which to choose thank you Ridleys :)

In a bullish mood...

2008-09-30T06:24:00.000-07:00

Ting....Yaaay…The stone I threw had hit the steel body of the bus stand shelter’s supporting pillar.

I finally managed to hit that pillar once out of my 5 attempts.Prabhu had hit it twice and nikki the wicket keeper of our school team has not yet hit it once..and obviously he was the butt of ridicule by the other two direct cousins of johnty rhodes.

We were a bunch of teenagers or probably adolesecent guys and were hitting upon something so unsinpirational and non-sexy like a a steel pillar. Gosh!! Imagine this if there is a ‘truth or dare’ going to take place somewhere in future and I am asked a question like - who did you first hit upon?. Pretty embarassing answer I have, curse those two guys who were with me.

Hitting upon the steel pillar was our favourite sport, coming from a boys school we didn’t have much choice about whom or what to hit upon. We played this game extensively when we waited for 7H the bus which takes us to the bus stand near our school.

And the probability of getting this bus was as much as getting an intellectual speech delivered by dubya.Still we used to wait there even after missing the 7-45 AM bus to catch the next one at god-knows when…The wait was not without a reason, the students from the nearby DAV girls school used to come for the 8 o clock bus and once they start coming in..all our boyish stone throwing games come to an abrupt halt as we start speakign about F1, Salman rushdie and world affairs in the fancy english we know.

There were times when the bus we waited for never came and as we wait the smart college dude would pick up his girlfreind in the bus stand and speed way. As he zooms past us we would have been praying deeply that a huge puncture comes to his bike, the brake cables get cut and a few more things nastier than what Paul McCartney would have thought before giving the 50million alimony package..but nothing happened though and every day he came in the same funky bike and at times the girls did change.

After making sure all the DAV girls have been properly sent off[heights of social consciousness you see] we would finally give up hope on 7H. Then our new age mode of transport comes in..yup the bullock cart which carries cement bags to the godown near our school. We thrust our hand out asking him for a lift, one big advantage in this lift is we can save the Rs.1.10p which had been given for bus fare. At the end of the week we would be having Rs.5 in our hands.

Three guys with Rs.15, trust me we used to have so much fun with that amount. We go to the parvathi bhavan sweet stall with the aura of businee magnets who are gonna buy it in a single cheque. Get individual menu cards and used to skip the cheaper chat section and go to the milk shakes page, after asking the waiter some weird combination of milk shakes which probably he wont be having we would sigh and say… ok lets go for chat. For the 5-6 spoons of bhel puri we used to demand a whole bucket of sauce. Else 15 rupees guaranteed a hollywood horror flick in good old grand theatre.

Coming back to the bullock cart ride. As soon as we thrust our hands out the old man with the red towel turban used to acknowledge with a slight nod of his head and will slow down his I-am-gonna-die-if-u-whip-me-once-more bull. Then comes the exciting part, getting into the running cart.

We run on, first throw our heavy bags into the wooden floor of the cart bringing more agony to the bull. While the other guys effortlessly jump on to the moving cart. I was always the lazy ass. I used to run for 20 meters behind the cart build up all the momentum and place my hands on the wood and jumpppp… Ailaa… from when did the wooden cart change into a thar cart.. Oh maan it’s the road and my butt is burning …thanks to that bullock cart.. wished for a massage from sandra bullock…ok enough of this bull shit.

My second attempt was always a success as I had the 2 guys catching me and overhauling me into the cart..most of the times I used to bump into the cement bags and get a gray hair .

Well…wait a minute why am I writing this useless adventure of mine here?.. It’s a total waste of space.. but then it so happened that today I had a small alteraction with a slow bullock cart rider near guindy. I abused him and was cursing him for getting me delayed to work. Then suddenly all those sweet memories of the past with bullocks flashed thru my mind and how I wished I could get all those days back.. those days where time n tide waited for everyone and everything… where having a mere Rs.50 note in my pocket used to make me feel I can compete with lakshmi mittal…days when we never ‘bought’ gifts but ‘made’ it, and however shoddy they were the ones whom we gifted it always loved n cherished it. ..

Argh..one of those days where I feel I am as old as the tortoise..Curse the bullocks :)

The Great Job Hunt....

2008-09-23T22:26:00.000-07:00

Thank you for choosing ABC Internet services. My name is Frank may I please have your DSL telephone number so I may access your account.

That was Frank. Nop, not any Frank Sinatra, but the pseudo name under which I worked in my first job. It wasn’t one night at call centre but 6 months in a call centre. The job had it pit falls, but I enjoyed it thanks to my wonderful team and once in a while hilariously moronic callers. The best buddy in my team was a guy called Ramanathan. He was more popularly known as “OK Ramanathan”. That’s because during our training sessions someone told him that Americans like and use the words OK. That was it; Ramanathan used OK as a question, adjective, verb and every other form available n English language. Illustrating that with a sample call.

“Yes you have got the installation disk ok. Now insert it in the drive ok. No no not the floppy drive the CD drive ok..now u have a dialog box appearing with 2 buttons ok button and cancel button ok. Now press the ok button ok”

By this time the whole floor of 70 odd will be rolling with laughter. Ramanathan was this small town boy..very sweet, innocent and naïve. He used to trust everything I say. Take this for example...

It was our first team meeting and the lead asked us in to introduce ourselves with our eating, drinking habits. One of our teammates stood up and introduced himself as a teetotaler. Poor Ramanathan had no idea about what the term teetotaler meant and as luck would have had it, turned around and asked me what it was. And I being the most chronic liar around kept a straight face and defined it as someone who drinks only tea. It was another story that Ramanathan found that teetotaler teammate drinking filter coffee in cafeteria and had a small argument after which both thought the other one was the biggest jerk in the team. I loved team building you see.

Most importantly - I and Ramanathan where partners in crime. We used to search for job and attend interviews together. One fine day I saw a newspaper ad calling for “young fresh graduates”, salary may reach up to 50,000. I was totally into it. Took the paper cutting and when to work the next night[err...or was it morning..I was in the 1 AM to 10 AM shift, so it was pretty confusing]. Ran to the floor n screamed out Ramanathan’s name…by mistake screamed out his pseudo name…which was harry…so there I had some 20 Harry’s standing up and asking “hey dude wassup”. Then caught hold of 'Ok' Harry and in the pantry showed him our passport to paradise…at once we went to a dream land ..what we can do with 50k, though now I realize that we cant do much with a salary of 50k+ .

The next morning sacrificing our sleep we went to the interview of this dream job…we had a tough time finding the office. Finally the office or the bungalow, which had the office, was found in a less inhabited part of annanagar. The bungalow was an eerie looking one right out of the ramsay brother movies. We hesitated for a second but then we were determined that even if its going to be the secretary of count Dracula we are gonna take it up. It’s a matter of 50 thousand. And anyway every MNC sucks our blood.

As we entered the bungalow we noticed that there were cardboard cartons lying all around the premises. In what looked like a reception with some dusty sofas there was this man in formals and tie. He gave us a suspicious look and welcomed us in. We showed him the paper cutting and said we wanted to meet the HR of the company. He made us sit on those dusty sofas and went in to call someone.

We both were thinking about the HR of this booth bungalow and also imagining what we can do with the 50k per month. I had almost slept off when out of the blue a very beautiful lady came and stood there. No...beautiful is not the word to describe her she was simply stunning and for a second looked like one of those Ravi Varma’s painting had come alive…She wore a light blue business suit with huge ear rings and I had doubts if this is some mohini from the booth bungalow… But she had legs …and what do we say sinfully beautiful,would have suited her the best.I was totally smitten and dumbstuck by her beauty and grace. She came towards us and introduced herself. She was anupama..anu..I tried my best to speak to her but didn’t know why all my attempts to talk only ended with release of air from my larynx.

Ramanathan had to elbow me very hard and bring me back to normalcy. She was the head of that place and took us to her room. The room was to say the best in that haunted house. It had good furniture and was airconditoned, she asked a few questions about us for which I stuttered, stammered and finally answered. For the next 15mins she was speaking…ot that’s what I thought she did because her lips were moving. I was lost in my world of trance looking at her and dancing to some bollywood number in swiss with her…What was that..yeah something from Jodi no:1 I was a chronic Govinda fan then.

My dream sequence was abruptly cut due to a telephone call she received. Once she went out of the room there was a barrage of thrashings from Ramanathan’s resume file. He made me realize that the lady was speaking about ‘job’ but never mentioned what it was all about. That stuck me, I stood up went out the room [BGM: Maddy..maddy..] and when I was just about to demand her the nature of job..she turned around..and gave that beautiful smile…and the dynamite which was ready to blast got drenched in a bucket of water. Spoke about the beautiful office and its antique value for 10mins without bothering the glares of my dear pal Harry.

Later on annnuuu asked us to shift the cardboard boxes into a cab, now I came back to my senses, imagined if that was the job. So collected all my guts, closed my eyes and asked her what was the nature of this job. She said me it will be explained as we go in the cab. Ramanathan and me shifted some 10 cardboard boxes and then sat into the cab. The cab journey was awesome..imagine an old battered ambassador on a rickety road and me sitting next to the girl who looks like a painting ..well... was one of those unforgettable bumpy rides.. .then she explained the job’s merits..like how it can pay us 50k and at times people make 2-3lacs out of it. Finally our halt came in a small juice shop.

She requested us to get the boxes down and open them…Lo!! There lay our job..blocks and blocks of………. books. Yes it was Britannica encyclopedia. We sell it all around Chennai city and we would get Rs.1000 for every book sold..and selling 50 books per month in Chennai you know is a very simple task. Ramanathan was almost in tears now and me well dunno how to explain.. ‘Ginger eaten monkey’ would be the best way to explain. We delivered those boxes to some representatives in ties there and started back.

On the return journey I explained my dream girl about how impossible it is for techies like us to take that ‘marketing’ job. Not a one to give up she gave an example of her cousin who dumped his BE and now earns 3 lakhs per month. Also informed about the marketing training course which they will provide us for handling the job. I was thinking about the training in middle of nungambakkam high road and then in residential flats…imagine me selling the book in one of my ex’s house…or worst case imagine my mom closing the door on my face…gosh!! Pretty scary I say. Told her I will get back and got her mobile number…made sure I added it to the filtered numbers list as soon and then bid a goodbye with heavy heart.

Well at times I wish what if I had taken that job, but then life is all about choices and my dear friend Ramanathan chose never ever to attend an interview along with me.

My Locality....

2008-09-09T21:51:00.000-07:00

A Man’s home is where is money is made

This was the adage, which drove a whole generation of young men from Deep South of tamilnadu away from their homes to the city of promise – Chennai. My dad was not an exception. He was a central government employee, a species which used to top the matrimonial market with regards to demand and dowry,but thanks to influence of IT and the 6 digit earning programmers, they have totally lost out. My dad settled in the heart of Chennai with this central government job which gave a decent living, a good bride with a not-so-good dowry..err..kanya dhaan to be politically right. Thought I will pen down a few things about this locality in which I spent the first 14 years of my life.

It was not the affable adyar or the posh besant nagar, neither was it a cultural hub like Mylapore. It was a locality called Thousand lights, aayiram vilakku in tamil. Those who have been to Chennai may have noticed the huge thousand lights mosque near the anna flyover on your way to spencer’s plaza. Opposite to this huge mosque in those lanes, by lanes and cramped allies lies a place, which is home for more than a million people. Thousand lights is a place where people of different language, religion, culture and even race – its home to many Tibetans and srilankan refugees- live together.

The people, yes they are the most integral part of this locality. If not for them there would be nothing to speak about thousand lights and it would be yet another lower middle class locality.The most attractive section of the population are the local goondas whom even the cops dread..did I say dread..yeah only the cops dread them. We can see these goondas getting thrashed by the local lady vendors when they demand too much. What’s more interesting about them are their names. They had names like dolphin kumar, plastic pandu, iron ranga and so on. And the reasons for their names are a local folklore..like they used to say dolphin kumar possesses this sharp knife which can slice a dolphin into pieces with a single swish. No body can authenticate these stories, as the truth was lot funnier. In fact I personally knew the true story behind plastic pandu’s name. He was called so because the first FIR that was filed on him was for stealing plastic bucket from an old lady..so much for bravado… but ofcourse the folklore has a totally different story. Need to build the aura around them you see.

The locality was not just a residential one; it has its share of shops especially wine shops. In fact a friend of mine used to tell directions using these wine shops as landmarks. “Go straight you can see the Ponnu wines right? Take the road opposite to it after a 10metre walk there will be the aishwarya wines..take the right next to it, the street where you find karuna wines is the one you are asking for”.

Next to wine shops the other shops that were high in numbers were the teashops. You can call it cliché or stereotyping but somehow all these shops were owned by malyalees. And too add to the stereotyping all of them were addressed as nairs, just as how a person coming from any part of north india is called as set-ji. Of course these nairs had some titular differences like the munda banian nair, one legged nair, bald nair… It was a kind of fixed equation. Mallu tea shop owner = nair, even if they belonged to different religion..so we had Jacob nair , mohammad nair and also a nizzim nair. A jew who was a nair.

Then there was this small but vibrant Anglo Indian population. There were two good things about them. One is the way they live their lives, though they were not well to do they carry themselves with a Victorian elegance and lived life king size. Two, is the pretty Anglo Indian girls. I had a friend called Sharon, a very pretty little girl whose English I always used to admire. I had this misconception that Anglo Indians are rich folks getting monthly cheques from queen Elizabeth, all these misconceptions took a beating ..... One fine Saturday morning when I went to Sharon’s house, she was having her breakfast, but kind of covering and hiding it up and me being the curious cat was trying to peep in. At that time Sharon’s mom came in and seeing the cat and mouse game screamed at her “Sharon why cant you share it with that kid!!”..she called me into their 7x8 feet kitchen and gave porridge. I was totally enthralled..porridge!!!...I am gonna have some British breakfast. I took the bowl with a royal look and a body language which would have made Prince Harry feel like a rickshaw puller...to my utter shock, surprise and disgust what she had given me was old rice mixed in butter milk..something we call as pazhaya saadham in tamil…if this porridge had been served at my home the porridge along with the bowl would have been flying out of the window…but here I was gulping it down and exclaiming to Sharon… “the porridge of your mommy ..tastes so yummy ”

As said the thousand lights area had a huge mosque, so a noticeable number of Muslim families lived there. The best thing about the Muslims bred in thousand lights is their ability to fuse 3-4 languages and speak in it. An instance…. When me and my friend khaddar play cricket on the street his little sister used to call him for lunch from the balcony…the announcement goes something like “baayi ammi therey ko bulathi hein..soru daalna hein” so you had urdu[ammi], hindi[bulathi hein], and tamil[soru-rice]…they can speak for hours together is this dialect.

With folks of almost every religion and community living in my locality, there has never been the smallest communal clash in the area. A perfect locality where you can stand and scream “Mera Bharath Mahan”. Its not just we the kids of all communities play together even the adults socialized very well. Infact I know the ceremonies that happen in any Indian marriage a Hindu, Christian or a Muslim. Hats off to my locality which has taught me the biggest mantra in life religious tolerance – a concept very relevant today.

Let me err...

2008-09-04T22:13:00.000-07:00

"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep"
And here starts my journey to try n transform my self from just a creative person to an Artist... Let the mistakes begin :-)