Monday, December 2, 2013

Vienna Tales!!

Yeah its been long since I came in here. And I know that the little bit of readers for this place have disappeared. The only desperate ways I can pickup readers count is to:
a) Write something sensational..well how about Rahul vs Modi. Write a generic piece,without spelling out my allegiance clearly so the supporters of both will clash at my page. Call names,question patriotism and tolerance levels ,my blog attracts millions of hits, I make money by placing ans..andd..and...sigh!! Far fetched I know, because without doubt Rahul will have more backers. How many here would support Lalit Modi instead of  Rahul Dravid in an argument (bloody escapist I am).
 
b) May be indulge in some friendly banter and playful flirting with some bloggers and stretch the limits of decency. Which in turn gets sensational headlines "Famous blogger nautankey.." Nop "The father of  Indian blogging"..naa naa,makes me look old.."The blogging heartthrob"..argh.. ----- (Fill it with your salutation) was today arrested for bloglesting(molesting thru blog?) a blogger @ blogspot. While Nautankey sees a clear political conspiracy, political conspiracists saw nautankey's blog for the
first time. Yaayy.!! But then I am a shadi shuda guy who is faithful and does karvachauth and sumangali vradhams piously, so not gonna work in my favour.
 
I can think of more reasons but then the post would end up so long winding that even I may not be ready to read it.
 
Coming to the heading of the post...yes that's what I wanted to right but managed to scribble 20lines unconnected to the title. I yam a great columnist in the making.
 
This was about an incident or rather an interaction when I visited Vienna over the weekend.
 
At around 11.30PM, I call the reception

Me: I find the room to be too hot,can you reduce the temperature.
HR(hotel receptionist):Saaar(no I am not making it up,he pronounced it as Saaar,no idea if he was mocking me because he could'nt have known who is on the other end..may be an austrian who learnt english from Wilbur Sargunaraj),the controls are in the room but it is confusing,so I am coming there.
Me:(faking my best british/or some firaang accent) Yes please do. It is pretty hot.
 
--After few minutes..knock knock--
I open the door to find a shell shocked guy in suit staring at me for some  seconds.Imagine an expression on Michelle's face when she sees Kim jong coming out of Obama's bedroom,in a pink sleeveless night dress and Barack with a whip and...ok hope you get the shock quotient.
 
Me:Hi..
He keeps staring at me.
Me: Helloo 
HR: Yes..yes saar. I ..I ..Check the te..te..temperature.
Comes in
HR: Saar.You are from India right. 
Me: Yes ofcourse 
HR: And you still find this hot.It is 10 degrees, germans find it pretty ok.
 
At this point I understood why he gave me the stare. Reminded me of this -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMRVTw6od0I - esp royal familyla idhellam sagajam thaana part. Apologies if you are a non-tamil reader(just incase I get some readers I mean).
 
Me: (Managing a straight face)Basically I am from Denmark and I find it too hot. 
HR: I will reduce the temperature Saar.
 
--He goes back. After a few mins, I call the reception again --
 
Me: I find the room still hot 
He comes in again,checks the temperature. Gives me the top to bottom look,as I fake the I-am-from-buckingham-palace-attitude.
 
HR : Saar, I know the solution to this.  
Me: Yes 
HR: You can remove your shirt and pyjama. Open the window and then sleep peacefully.
 
Gives a wide smile and walks away wishing good night even before I could realize if he was genuinely giving a solution or mocking me!!
 
Damn I hate sarcasm I say.
 
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Sunday, April 8, 2012

The Last Laugh...

At a shopping mall...
My Wife: No. DON'T take that tee shirt, doesn't suit your age.
Me: It's Funky.
She: That's right. You are too old to be funky.
Me: But...it's so bright & colorful
She: You are not a rainbow.
Me: Yes...but
She: The argument was over long time back...
At the billing counter
Salesman: Boss...Why don't you get more stuff..We have a discount sale going on for college students.
Me - turning behind and giving her.......the last laugh

=====================================================================
At home - Mom reading stories to my four and a half yr old nephew. Followed by his moral after ending of every story.

Story1 - Hare and tortoise
Mom: So what was the moral of the story?
Him: Slow and steady wins the race.


Story2 - The golden goose
Mom: So what was the moral of the story?
Him: Don't be greedy.

Story3 - Jist of Ramayana
Mom: So what was the moral of the story?
Him: Hmmm.. We should not take sita anywhere out.

The atheist in me : The last laugh...which lasted for an hour.
=======================================================================
My colleague SJ - who is not a great fan of my theatrical activities. Feels it's a waste of time as the returns are not great.

SJ (introducing his teammate RG): Hi, this is RG.(With an evil smirk) He wanted to speak something with you.
RG: Hi.(After initial formalities). You write scripts right?
Me: Yes..Kind of.
RG: See I have got this wonderful state-of-the-art camera during my last onsite trip. It is a HD camera, with some great features like 20x zoom..blah blah blah...I am having some friends, including two pretty looking girls.
Me: So..?
RG: We are planning to make a short movie. Almost everything is in place. The cam, the actors....we have even got a cool beach resort for rent. Just one thing is missing..we need a story,can you give a script for us.
SJ - Gives me a wink.
Me: Oh I write only VB scripts and macros. I don't know what script you are looking for.
RG: Oh ..I see.. (gives an angry glance at SJ)
Me - The last laugh...
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Sunday, January 1, 2012

The year that was - 2011.

Ok it's that time of the year when nondescript political commentators, film-critics, sports columnists - at times all rolled into one like indian news channels who have the same panel of 'experts' discussing defence deals and cricketing debacles - have a party writing about their top 10, bottom 10 and middleton. The end result is some megabytes of cyber waste.

Me being the not-so considerate cyber user has decided to contribute to that ... here goes my list of top i-dunno-wat

a) A wonderful 3 months trip to Copenhagen....had some lovely as well as not-so lovely time

Lovely bcoz of the following reasons
  • Blond girls
  • Blond girls in clear heels
  • Blond girls playing volleyball in the beach
   Err...that's the top 3 reasons..incredible isn't it. The other ones
  • A place where indian english and accent is not the funniest
  • Ppl stopping and watching us with confused looks...when we are playing cricket that is.
  • Was back to my bachelor days..and realized my booze resistance is not the same as it was 5years ago..ah age is catching up
  • Ofcoz was paid in a currency which was more than INR
  • Blond ...ok I stop it here.
No-so lovely bcoz
  • Missed the chaos
  • Had a visit to germany- which made me feel why didn't the americans nuke germany...argh..hated the place and no i aint buying a BMW or Audi or Merc ever ever in my life... well not that there were too many affordable..either way.
  • And yeah..i was single..come on there was no one to blame when things go wrong.

b) Moved into my new apartment. There is a saying in tamil "Get a wedding done and get a house built".. means both are financially exhaustive. One can never estimate the costs and none ever knows all the nuances.

If building the house part is smoother,trust me the moving in and settling down will make sure it sucks out  everything left. Guess I can write a whole series of blogs on this.

c) Managed to stage 2 shows with my theatre group. Was a miracle indeed,what with 80% of the team members being offshored.

d) Hearing quite a few voices speaking inside me..and asking me to write a book. I hope it would be a bigger best seller than some of the holy scriptures going around.

e) There was some point in the year where I was completely lost with gadgets, bikes n cars..was using lot of smileys in mails and worst started loving justin beiber's music(i know that's a oxymoron)..phew..it was like some teenage girl's spirit taking over me. Thanks to non-stop rambo movies, absolut, JD and their ilk, the spirits are gone now tho.

New-year wishes..
- Wish SRK stops acting...Anna stops fasting...and obama starts working
- To enter politics
- Stop drinking
- Reduce social networking
- Write more on this blog :-).

Last but not the least..I wish the calendar app used by mayans had crashed,hence there was no 2013 for them ;-).. the world is still so beautiful...
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Sunday, September 18, 2011

A Different take :-)


"History is written by victors"
goes a saying. And this applies to every bit of history as well as mythology we read today ..be it the religious crusades,various independence struggles and mythical wars. The other day I was wondering how the story of Ramayana would have been rendered today IF Ravana had won the war.Not being blasphemous or anything,but imagination is a rather wild child...so I let it run..and here is a story we would have been telling our grandkids if Ravana had indeed won the war :)

Once upon a time,long long ago..in the treta yuga lived the noble,just and benevolent king Ravana of Lanka.A devout follower of Lord Shiva,he possessed immense knowledge of vedas and upanishads and was the author of Ravana Samhita - an astrological scripture narrated by lord shiva. Ravanayan is the story about his war with bad people and his ultimate victory.

Ram and Lakshman, the princes of ayodhya were admonished and sent to exile in forest for their misdeeds by their father King Dasaratha.Ram's wife Sita,a pretty,coy lady feared the repercurssions of living alone in ayodhya and decided to be with her husband during the exile,she believed the wild forest to be safer than living as a single woman in a repressive society with three royal mother-in-laws.

One day during their exile in forest,Minakshi,the beautiful and much adored sister of King Ravana saw Ram. She was bewitched by his handsome looks and fell for him. Minakshi went upto Ram and expressed her feelings of desire for him. Ram and Laskhaman were shocked at the courage of this woman,back home in ayodhya no woman would have had the guts to propose a man.They would remain in their goongats and would have had only fleeting glances at their bridegrooms before wedding. Without hiding his disgust Lakshman retorted to Minakshi "O you filthy woman,how dare you speak like this.Women should not behave so.See our Sita here,she is a role model of how a woman should be.You are a demon".

Minakshi replied back "O you misogynist,which law of your land forbids women to express their feelings.If a man had done this you would have termed him as a courageous romantic and if a woman does it,she is a demon?.Being a sita,who does not speak against the men in her household however unjust they are is not how a woman should be". For the first time in their lives the princes of ayodhya heard a woman speak up against a man. An aghast Lakshman drew his sword and sliced the nose of the unarmed Minakshi.

The news of this demeaning act of attacking an unarmed person,that too a woman, travelled far and wide. The learned sages and the wise rishis wondered how a warrior prince right under the nose of a future king could do this. They were stunned by the ruthlessness and irrational behavior. When the mighty Ravana came to know what had befallen his loving sister,he was enraged and vengeance filled his heart. He rushed in his pushpaka vimana to the place where these two chauvinistic princes were living. To his utter dismay he could not find them in their hut,but he found sita. Though hesitant Ravana knew that to know the value of a woman,the princes of ayodhya should lose a woman they loved and respected. Ravana imprisoned sita and took her with him to Lanka.

Ram and Lakshman found that Sita had been abducted.How will they face the world now? how can they ever go back to ayodhya without her? the world will chastise their ability and manhood for not being able to safeguard a woman. Their masculine egos would be thrashed and their legacy relegated to oblivion. The princes decided to find out sita,they started their travel towards south.

Meanwhile in Lanka,Sita was put in a ladies community centre.There she was mocked and ridiculed by the lankan women. They could not imagine someone so coy and so dependent,and without any ability to rebel or speakup against men. Her misery was compounded when she came to know about the beautiful and intellectual Mandodari, Ravana's wife. People compared Sita's beauty to Mandodari but when they stuck a conversation with her,they scorned her intelligence or rather the lack of it.

On the other side luck favored Ram and Lakshman,they befriended Sugriva,the leader of a dark,strong and muscular race of beings from the south. Sugriva's story,of being exiled for betraying his brother,stuck a chord with Ram and Lakshman. Ram decides to help sugriva defeat his brother and in return use sugriva's army to find sita. As decided Ram killed from hiding Sugriva's brother Vali during their duel. This heinous act of killing another warrior from hiding sent shockwaves across the divine world.There were arguments and debates to discuss which one of the brothers' act was more vile,whether it was lakshman's act of hurting an unarmed woman or ram's.

With the help of Sugriva's army and his commander-in-chief Hanuman,ram was able to find that Sita was imprisoned in the island of lanka. He decided to build a bridge to cross over to Lanka. Ignoring the pleas of the sea god about the effect of a man made bridge on the ecology of the ocean and detrimental effects to sea life Ram decided to go ahead. Sugriva's strong and powerful army worked day in and day out and built the bridge to Lanka.

As soon as Ram and Sugriva's army landed in lanka,the mighty war started.The valor of sugriva's army was showcased by brave warriors like Hanuman, Jambavan and Angadh,they gave a run to the Ravana's organized army with their guerilla attacks. With the defection of vibishana,ravana's brother, during a crucial time of the war,Ram looked like having the upper hand. But the might of Ravana was not easy to overcome,his relentless attacks coordinated by his son,the invincible Indrajit and his brother the mighty kumbakarna was too much to handle for sugriva's army.

With sugriva's army wiped out,Ravana entered the battle,he captured both Ram and Lakshman as prisoners of war and admonished them to a life in lanka's prison. As they were being taken to the prison Ram was amazed to see the beauty of Lanka. The well laid streets,the content citizens,the wealth and economic strength of the kingdom left ram awestruck. From Vibishana Ram learnt more about the laws of the land and how prosperous a kingdom lanka is.

Bharata,ayodhya's king-in-charge,came to know about the fate of his brothers. He sent a special peace mission to Lanka and negotiated for the release of his loved family.He was ready to offer his life as a barter for his brothers'. Touched by this gesture,the noble Ravana ordered for the release of Ram,Lakshman and Sita.

As they were about to abode the vimana to ayodhya,Ram spoke to sita, "Dear Sita,my beloved.I love you and trust you more than myself.But with you living in Ravana's abode for so long I as well as our society has every reason to suspect your piety and faithfulness. So I would prefer you to walk thru fire to prove that you are the purest". By now, a visibly changed Sita contested this,"Dear ram,my lord,my ruler.I see your request to be rightful and just.At the same time,during my absence I do know you have lived in the forests and also enjoyed the luxuries of Sugriva's kingdom for a few days.Hence I request you to join with me for walking thru the fire. Let the world know we are the purest".

Taken aback by this Ram decided not to keep the test of fire for Sita, they flew back to ayodhya and Ram's rule started. Every input he had obtained from vibishana on lankan goverance was used efficiently and till today Ram's rule is considered as the golden rule of india....better known as Ram Rajya.

All was well :).

P.S: Ok Folks... you can send your kids,grand kids for story time to me :P
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Monday, July 4, 2011

Danish Cookies...

Was thinking hard on what can be the title to my first post from denmark...the place which I previously knew was famous for beer, cookies and beautiful blonde women. In my one month here I had tasted the first two and well err..no might be better off just watching the third :).

So now I know a lot more things for which Denmark especially Copenhagen is famous for..first on my list is the cost of living....its weird to find shops selling the same stuff with varying prices. Second on my list would be ..hmmm..drunken peeing in elevators....infact one of my colleague who is pretty interested in getting danish citizenship has got a trick up his sleeve...to be more danish than a dane...Drive a cycle to work, get tatooed, smoke like a chimney, gulp in 15 cans of beer and do the second thing mentioned in my list..voila..you get the green card!!. Luckily no one here is ready to follow his advice.

Stopping my cynicism, this is a very beautiful (but yes at times boring) place to live in. The environment consciousness of the people is historical to say the least..coming from a place where everything goes in a breakneck speed and in a rather loud way ..was feeling pretty lost initially. Imagine no one honking ,cars driving past with the slightest noise(blame it on volkswagen, BMWs and the german engineering), the danish language being spoken without the mouth being opened(no words even remotely resembling an oye or an ayyo) ..I got into this habit of clicking on my ears once a while to check if they are indeed working fine. My only living abroad experience was in New York, which can give a run to kolkata and mumbai on loudness meter and the number of Indians were higher than ones seen in Chennai.


So with life being pretty quite, I should be living peacefully..or am I..Nop not actually..there are enough worries clouding me up as and when I check news sites...like the time I came across a website asking readers to send pregnancy advice for aishwarya rai, people arguing on the philosophical value of delhi belly songs, bipasha basu's single status...phew...tension..tension... now lemme sip some beer, munch the cookies and well what else..watch the beautiful blonde walking across the street...nirvana
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Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Battle in Bengaluru

Haa...now I have got a valid reason for going missing :) ... one of our team's dream - performing in bengaluru is going to become a reality soon...Yup we are performing in Bangalore over this weekend.


So dear friends of blogworld if you are in Bengaluru do make it to the show and we can promise you would have a wonderful time....if not please help us in spreading the word around. Do send across the information to folks you know in bengaluru...your colleagues,class mates, glass mates, friends, relatives, the-not-too-related friends or even the-not-so-friendly-relatives.... :-)
And information about the show:
Battle of the Sexes is a collection of three short plays centered on the eternal conflict – Man vs. woman. The plays take the audience through a hilarious yet retrospective journey about the clash of perspectives, opinions and actions between the Martians and Venusians.

The Play is being staged on November 21st,2010 at Alliance Francaise, Vasanth Nagar, Bengaluru. The shows are at 4 PM and 7 PM and tickets are priced at Rs.150 /-.

Tickets are available at www.indianstage.in, Crossword [Residency Road], Blossoms Bookstore[Church Street].
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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Some more enlightenment...

It was yet another day where I was enjoying my morning snooze and was cursing my idea of joining the gym...Under the pretext of reading the newspaper I decided to steal some more sleep... to my horror one news article woke me up with a rude shock. A political party in tamilnadu had demanded full fledged ban on alcohol..

I mean ok lets not look into the credentials of this party which is pretty much a political whore, changing partners for every election..let's not consider the party's leaders had openly & unapologetically stated is ready for coalition with anyone who is ready to give his son a ministerial berth. Still what makes him so insane, I mean there are lakhs if not crores of drunkards in the state and he is going to lose the few votes which he manages to get !!.

After reading this shocker, I went to a state of trance...yup that state where the sleepy part of your brain plays,fights and finally convinces the other part, the one which is urging you to wake up,brush and get on.

At this magical moment I received an enlightenment...about how bars/pubs/toddy shops are so similiar to places of worship. Following are some of the similarities I could get hold of...

1) Both give peace from current state of misery

2) Both give a high [devotional high and the drunken high]

3) When this high reaches a crescendo we can hear voices speaking to us

4) Until the time the order is given and it is delivered to the table, the bartender is given the same respect as that of a priest/mullah

5) We fight for our beliefs. My friends believe vodka is a sissy drink and i believe whisky is for low-lives. Yeah at times this may lead to battles.

6) Brotherhoods grow.

7) When we leave, we are at peace with the world

8) Women are not given equal rights.

9) Both have created world's greatest philosophers

10) And yeah....We pay tips

Lets hope that very soon the religious drunkards start their own political party,to overcome exploitation...infact demand drinking habits based census next...jai vodka!

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