Potteranity v1.0

Brothers & Sisters of human race and fellow bloggers in this scribbling race. Saturday October 3rd would be the date etched in the history of mankind, a date when man’s understanding of higher powers would be changed drastically. The date when Nautankey got his enlightenment.

After six rounds of sky vodka and uncountable tequila shots I, nautankey started receiving divine signals. I heard voices inside my head, no it was not the other fellow drunkards blabbering, it was divine voice. Voice of god [©Copyright nautankey.blogspot.com], the fact that I was resting in a resort far away from the city did not hinder the signal’s clarity.

All my previous understanding of the god and universe were challenged and thrown to dumps with this divine interaction. I found the god and the way to god or rather the one who can lead us to god.

Yes dear sinners!! God has been found [©Copyright nautankey.blogspot.com], so is the apostle who can herd us, the ignorant sheeps to the holy feet of the almighty. Harry potter is God!! And JK Rowling[peas be upon her] is our messiah. Once the secret has been revealed that Holy Harry is the Christ's next coming, the hunky kalki avtar and the daler..err..imaam mahdi whom all the scriptures have spoken about for thousands of years I decided to speak up. Open your minds and souls to accept the almighty Potter as the GOD.

A few salient features of this new divine religion which you will soon start following are listed below. This religion is currently named “Potteranity” but can also be referred as Potterism.

Potteranity is the most democratic & humane religion around and allows 'n^n' number of gods..A god for every action and reaction and the best part is under a festive(Potteranity’s festivals will be detailed in v2.0) offer the early bird devotees will be made gods/goddesses, you can also pose along with the almighty god and his aides Hermione and Ron for a quick polaroid photo. Once the official opening is declared rush your entries to iwannabeagod@potteranity.com..but do remember Holy Harry is the supreme god, the omnipresent one whose existence and powers can never be questioned, so the final allotment rests with the almighty Harry.

We will be gentle and peaceful followers of our honorable religion and ones who oppose us will lovingly be stoned, beheaded or amputated any body part of their choice (democracy again) in public.

About gender equality...women and equal to men ?..No WAY, in Potteranity they are superior. So all the top positions go to women and we have high priestesses, popeyes(female tense of popes) and himaamis(FT of imaams) and women can enter The Dingy Alley(worshipping place of Potteranity’s devotees ) anytime and any ‘bloody’ day(s) of the month. Polygamy is strictly banned and if Women practice it they will be punished with a fine of 500 USD and if men involve they will be ostracized & condemned to Potteranity’s hell with a fine of 1000 USD.

The wholey...well..the holy book of Potteranity will be called as Hinkypunky . This universal book of knowledge will have 8479 copies and interpretations..so if at all a religious skeptic questions and we don't like that. We can easily oppose that infidel by showing proofs from other 8478 versions of hinkypunky.

Holy Harry our almighty god always existed even before every single conceivable universe existed and expecting a relevant logical/scientific explanations for the preaching of Potteranity will grant you eons of life in painful hell where your soul will be burnt, fried with Chinese chilli n vinegar sauce.

Potteranity too has casteism.. castes are based on economic status. Just 2 subdivisions- haves and havenots. Your caste will be based on your belongings like mobile, i-pod, laptop, dig-cams if you are one who asks something like well...i-pond?? whatzat? can I swim o'er there ? ...Ewwww!! Just move out.. You are declared an untouchable.

The brothers and sisters who involve in blasphemy will be forgiven by the benevolent god by giving a host of wonderful tasks to fulfill… like getting smooched by nana patekar, watching rakhi sawant without makeup, making George Bush jr. win the spelling bee contest .

Ofcoz all generic rules apply ..like…
1. Thou shalt not have any God before Holy Harry... except Santaclaus and superman. Fine... Spider man, Rajinikanth allowed as demi-gods.

2. Thou shall not have any other messiah. JK Rowling[piece be upon her] will be the one and the only. All the other messiahs you were following, be it Eminem or Ramdev Baba cease to exist.

3. Thou shalt not kill, unless the infidel irritates you too much

4. Thou shalt be lazy and offer prayers once in a while when you are not drunk.

5. Thou shalt not steal, unless you really, really want something and cannot afford it

6. Potteranity is harsh on dressing freedom. If thou are a fat guy you are no longer allowed to wear speedos/tight tees or run around semi-clad and titillate women. And in the interest of fairness, if thee is a fat gal you cannot wear bikinis or terrorize men with butt clinching jeans.

More additions to this universal religion of love, peace, knowledge,wisdom and brotherhood will come in future versions. Information about Potteranity’s festivals, graphic details Potteranity’s hell and heaven, Gods and goddesses are all expected to be released soon.

Those infidels who don’t like this supreme religion are not welcome to the comments section and if they do dare to criticize this divine legion..well u know where those comments r gonna disappear along with the souls of those sinners. Harry Om!

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The Rebellious blog..

Updated after a pretty long time...
A short note about a motley group of white collar workers taking up something which we thought wont last more than a year...

Theatre the great reveller - http://www.rebelz.in/blog/ Read more!!

Flabbergasting indeed...

Well...this is a question in the US Visa processing form. It has a Yes or No box.

Do you seek to enter the United States to engage in export control violations, subversive or terrorist activities, or any other unlawful purpose? Are you a member or representative of a terrorist organization as currently designated by the U.S. Secretary of State? Have you ever participated in persecutions directed by the Nazi government of Germany; or have you ever participated in genocide?

I mean will anyone be dumb enough to say a yes even if their intent was the above ?..Yeah al-qaeda has some dumb heads but still..this is too much of an under estimation I say :-)

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Words...

Somethings cannot be explained in words

• The joy and elation I get when people laugh for my lines
• The goosebumps I get whenever i see the national flag being hoisted[even in not so known places by the not so VIP ones]
• The way I get tongue tied when I see this really gorgeous girl in office
• The sense of guilt which overcomes when I give a light thwack to my nephew during his dangerously mischievious avtars.
• Why I help anyone in need and then end up getting screwed- How the slightest of provocation to my mammoth ego changes me totally
• The rage when I see educated and rational people believing astrology, sunsign, sooth sayers and rakhi sawant's wedding [infact the last one is more believable than the others]
• The sense of belonging and attachment when I drive past my college/previous company
• The anger when me as a customer is not treated properly.
• The memories that rush thru when a familiar fragrance brushes past
• The sense of relief after hurling abuses on a rash chennai auto driver.

For others I have my blog :-)

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Harry Potter and the misery with ISPs....

Yeah very true,that would be the title of the next HP book had JKR been in Chennai[or any part of india for that matter]. I feel I am back to the neolithic, chalcolithic ages thanks to the atrocious indian ISPs. One fine day in my facebook-gtalk filled heaven horror stuck, the net was not working,i call up my ISP[hathway] and this is how the conversation went

Harassed Me[HM]: Hathway? My number is 17xxxx
Customer care[CC]: Yes sir. How can I help you.
HM : No internet here
CC: Are you from chennai?
HM: Yes.
CC: We have stopped service in chennai from today
HM: Whaaat? I never got an intimation
CC: Oh right now i intimated you sir
HM: What the...this is information,not intimation.
CC: Not much of difference
HM: Just last week I paid for the renewal,why did get renewals.
CC: You can collect it from our office by giving back the modem [bangs the phone]

Immediately I dial the other ISP-Airtel,he sends his agent in less than an hour and all formalities are done and connection promised in 3days,happy that order in heaven is restored I go to blore for a fun time[later about this].After 15days, 10mails, 20 calls and 30 abusive sms-es Airtel doesnt seem to relent.They are pretty focussed on their goal you see "harass the customer",finally I decide to go for BSNL..aah the babu there took the application form kept it aside and said the connection may or may not come in 15days, inspired by the meteorology department I say.

So there goes my life without internet,blogging,facebook,gtalk..ahemm ahemm sites..things which I thought I will never live without.Wish I can do a avada kedavra and wipe off all these customer unfriendly organizations.

Phew..what a sense of relief,sorry for all those who were forced to read the above cribbing, afterall life is not a bed of roses all time. Especially if you are a customer in india.

Coming back to the blore trip,it was amazing..in the sense there are two cities which are say 5hours apart and everything changes. Especially the social circuit.In one finding a restaurant which provides good food with booze is a herculean task,while in the other we can find one in every street.While one has shady govt controlled wine shops prividing IMFL the other had spanky pubs with a great variety to offer.Err..I am on to another crib loop, anyway we had a blast of a time in HRC,it is a wonderful place with great ambience,lovely stuff and [most importanlty]service,would keep going back again and again. The visit was for a wedding of blog pals[both the guy n gal met thru blogs] and yeah we also met a kiddo blogger and it was time well spent.

Then comes the question which I face very often nowadays-changes post engagement. Well the courting period is pretty courteous[so far] and not too many changes in life,though I do spend some extra minutes over the phone..say 100 minutes,sorry am bad in converting minutes to hours :D. And for all those single folks out there who are taunting me with their freedome of movement [and other things] I have found some reasons to get married,listing some here

• I have someone to share my EMIs
• No more stag entries
• All those old uncles/aunties will stop asking when I am getting married[maaan this was a real pain in you-know-where]
• No friend/colleague will embarass me by introducing me to his/her awkward looking pal with the hope that we will get hitched
• I can stop blaming everything on the government
• I get an entire branch to my family tree [which also means few more tickets sold for the rebelz shows :P]
• And yeah you don't need to have a blog to crib

I know there are a 1000 more reasons not to get married but then since I am on this side of the shore I get dyslexic when I try reading them :P

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Estoy vivo !!

A meaningful title indeed. It means I am Alive!! Now I can't complain about having nothing to blog about, I can put a post listing out the reasons for not being able to blog...wah wah Kya Idea sirji ..

Speaking about Idea, the recent Walk and Talk[or something on that lines] ad by idea bought only negative thoughts for me. Reminded of the incident were this lady who was talking on phone and walking or rather crossing a railwaytrack was run over by the train. Any which way looks like the idea will reduce indian population, so still Kya Idea sirji stands.

Getting back to the reasons I was unable to post a post following are some
a) Our group's 3rd year anniversary production is coming up on 26th & 27th September, was full time into writing the script. Now that the first draft is over, time to cool my heel. The script has come out better than I had dreamt of. Hope the execution part too goes well

b)My 2.5 years old nephew, who is a dennis reincarnate has taken control of my PC at home, trust me that guy..err..baby/kid knows a hell lot of techie stuff. He can insert a C.D --> right-click --> Autorun from my computer. Refresh a webpage by hitting F5[something I knew only in my 1st year of masters]. Knows to pick and choose the Kid's rhymes page from favourites, though he can't read as such. As I was welling up with this sense of pride,I went to my friend's place and saw that her daughter, all of 10months old can switch on and shutdown a laptop and can differentiate a real laptop from a toy one[ofcoz rejects the toy]. What can I say..just give the cliched... kids these days expression and move.

c) The work...suddenly I find myself in a product development team and am learning that developing a product is pretty tough. So next time I curse Microsoft, I'd show some mercy.

In other news I have found that I am good food critic..For a second time Burrp has featured my review as the best of the week :-) .One thing I realized was to be a food critic you need not be a foodie, just need imagination and writing skills. I have seen many foodies,the ones who swear by food,unable to express in words why they love a particular cuisine...burrp looks like a place to good start off.

In one another news, my status as a single would be coming to an end pretty soon. Don't think I can exhibit my food critique skills after that at home :P

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Neuschwanstein...

I decided to put up a post and the first hurdle as usual was the title. Wonder why I spend so much time thinking about a title,bcoz my posts are no where coherent or sensible. Speak about blog's reflecting your personality.So this title or word was something engraved on a memorabilia which rests on my desk. Google it and I am sure something interesting will turn up :-)

Life is going really cool,every day is an adventure. Imagine stepping into work and seeing if your swipe card/system login works just to confirm you still have a job. Trust me the kinda happiness I get after a successful login every morning....is orgasmic. I have a job..phew. And why do people think I am not serious, comeon being on bench[or even being pink slipped for that matter] is not the end of the world. Most of the folks try to fake a straight-face and end up looking like their zipper got stuck in the wrong place..

There are more serious things than my work at office as such. How is that I find the same girl strikingly attractive one day and too bland n boring the next day,wonder if she has a two-face!! Not the villain in batman series, but i am seriously worried that if at all I gather all my guts and ask her out who will I meet? the attractive one or the dreary one...aah...the troubles of an unmarried man. I am searching for a therapist to cure this two-face syndrome.

And yeah things havent been rosy all around,there was an unexpected death. A close friend's dad expired just a week before his wedding. I mean the whole thing happened in a jiffy, 10mins ago the man was there all pumped up getting things in order for his son's wedding - a massive cardiac arrest - and he is no more. Situations like this make us ask a hundred questions,though we know there are no answers.

Came across this beautiful poetry of Aurobindo Gosh - The Fear of Life and Death

Death wanders through our lives at will, sweet Death
Is busy with each intake of our breath.
Why do you fear her? Lo, her laughing face
All rosy with the light of jocund grace !

A kind and lovely maiden culling flowers
In a sweet garden fresh with vernal showers,
This is the thing you fear, young portress bright
Who opens to our souls the worlds of light.

Is it because the twisted stem must feel
Pain when the tenderest hands its glory steal?
Is it because the flowerless stalk droops dull
And ghastly now that was so beautiful?

Or is it the opening portal's horrid jar
That shakes you, feeble souls of courage bare?
Death is but changing of our robes to wait
In wedding garments at the Eternal's gate

Not sure if this little poetry can console people,but surely makes us realize death is not just the end for someone but rather a journey towards the end of so many things for the loved ones of the demised.

Wish I could do everything I want before death touches me. The wishes range from the highly impossible like - writing that great script which future generation of screen writer's use as a bible, perform that role which would outshine a charles heston or gielgud - to the downright silly like confessing all my blunders, mischiefs and actions....yes rajath I was the one who stole your valuable hero pen in 6th grade and yeah madhuri I was the culprit who kept that stupid love letter in your shoes during the lab session in 9th grade...thank god the probability of rajath or madhuri reading this is next to zero :-)

Many if not all of us have a last wish ...my dad wants his last breathe to be in native village...my grandpa's was to visit kasi but we could not take him to the kasi theatre too. My sindhi friend wishes to visit Lahore once before his penultimate hour...humans and our obsession with death, thinking about it, makes us understand Egyptians better!!

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