Vienna Tales!!

Yeah its been long since I came in here. And I know that the little bit of readers for this place have disappeared. The only desperate ways I can pickup readers count is to:

a) Write something sensational..well how about Rahul vs Modi. Write a generic piece,without spelling out my allegiance clearly so the supporters of both will clash at my page. Call names,question patriotism and tolerance levels ,my blog attracts millions of hits, I make money by placing ans..andd..and...sigh!! Far fetched I know, because without doubt Rahul will have more backers. How many here would support Lalit Modi instead of  Rahul Dravid in an argument (bloody escapist I am).

 

b) May be indulge in some friendly banter and playful flirting with some bloggers and stretch the limits of decency. Which in turn gets sensational headlines "Famous blogger nautankey.." Nop "The father of  Indian blogging"..naa naa,makes me look old.."The blogging heartthrob"..argh.. ----- (Fill it with your salutation) was today arrested for bloglesting(molesting thru blog?) a blogger @ blogspot. While Nautankey sees a clear political conspiracy, political conspiracists saw nautankey's blog for the

first time. Yaayy.!! But then I am a shadi shuda guy who is faithful and does karvachauth and sumangali vradhams piously, so not gonna work in my favour.

 

I can think of more reasons but then the post would end up so long winding that even I may not be ready to read it.

 

Coming to the heading of the post...yes that's what I wanted to right but managed to scribble 20lines unconnected to the title. I yam a great columnist in the making.

 

This was about an incident or rather an interaction when I visited Vienna over the weekend.

 

At around 11.30PM, I call the reception

Me: I find the room to be too hot,can you reduce the temperature.

HR(hotel receptionist):Saaar(no I am not making it up,he pronounced it as Saaar,no idea if he was mocking me because he could'nt have known who is on the other end..may be an austrian who learnt english from Wilbur Sargunaraj),the controls are in the room but it is confusing,so I am coming there.

Me:(faking my best british/or some firaang accent) Yes please do. It is pretty hot.

 

--After few minutes..knock knock--
I open the door to find a shell shocked guy in suit staring at me for some  seconds.Imagine an expression on Michelle's face when she sees Kim jong coming out of Obama's bedroom,in a pink sleeveless night dress and Barack with a whip and...ok hope you get the shock quotient.

 

Me:Hi..
He keeps staring at me.

Me: Helloo 

HR: Yes..yes saar. I ..I ..Check the te..te..temperature.
Comes in

HR: Saar.You are from India right. 

Me: Yes ofcourse 

HR: And you still find this hot.It is 10 degrees, germans find it pretty ok.

 

At this point I understood why he gave me the stare. Reminded me of this -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMRVTw6od0I - esp royal familyla idhellam sagajam thaana part. Apologies if you are a non-tamil reader(just incase I get some readers I mean).

 

Me: (Managing a straight face)Basically I am from Denmark and I find it too hot. 

HR: I will reduce the temperature Saar.

 

--He goes back. After a few mins, I call the reception again --

 

Me: I find the room still hot 

He comes in again,checks the temperature. Gives me the top to bottom look,as I fake the I-am-from-buckingham-palace-attitude.

 

HR : Saar, I know the solution to this.  

Me: Yes 

HR: You can remove your shirt and pyjama. Open the window and then sleep peacefully.

 

Gives a wide smile and walks away wishing good night even before I could realize if he was genuinely giving a solution or mocking me!!

 

Damn I hate sarcasm I say.
 

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The Last Laugh...

At a shopping mall...
My Wife: No. DON'T take that tee shirt, doesn't suit your age.
Me: It's Funky.
She: That's right. You are too old to be funky.
Me: But...it's so bright & colorful
She: You are not a rainbow.
Me: Yes...but
She: The argument was over long time back...
At the billing counter
Salesman: Boss...Why don't you get more stuff..We have a discount sale going on for college students.
Me - turning behind and giving her.......the last laugh

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At home - Mom reading stories to my four and a half yr old nephew. Followed by his moral after ending of every story.

Story1 - Hare and tortoise
Mom: So what was the moral of the story?
Him: Slow and steady wins the race.


Story2 - The golden goose
Mom: So what was the moral of the story?
Him: Don't be greedy.

Story3 - Jist of Ramayana
Mom: So what was the moral of the story?
Him: Hmmm.. We should not take sita anywhere out.

The atheist in me : The last laugh...which lasted for an hour.
=======================================================================
My colleague SJ - who is not a great fan of my theatrical activities. Feels it's a waste of time as the returns are not great.

SJ (introducing his teammate RG): Hi, this is RG.(With an evil smirk) He wanted to speak something with you.
RG: Hi.(After initial formalities). You write scripts right?
Me: Yes..Kind of.
RG: See I have got this wonderful state-of-the-art camera during my last onsite trip. It is a HD camera, with some great features like 20x zoom..blah blah blah...I am having some friends, including two pretty looking girls.
Me: So..?
RG: We are planning to make a short movie. Almost everything is in place. The cam, the actors....we have even got a cool beach resort for rent. Just one thing is missing..we need a story,can you give a script for us.
SJ - Gives me a wink.
Me: Oh I write only VB scripts and macros. I don't know what script you are looking for.
RG: Oh ..I see.. (gives an angry glance at SJ)
Me - The last laugh...

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A Different take :-)

"History is written by victors"

goes a saying. And this applies to every bit of history as well as mythology we read today ..be it the religious crusades,various independence struggles and mythical wars. The other day I was wondering how the story of Ramayana would have been rendered today IF Ravana had won the war.Not being blasphemous or anything,but imagination is a rather wild child...so I let it run..and here is a story we would have been telling our grandkids if Ravana had indeed won the war :)

Once upon a time,long long ago..in the treta yuga lived the noble,just and benevolent king Ravana of Lanka.A devout follower of Lord Shiva,he possessed immense knowledge of vedas and upanishads and was the author of Ravana Samhita - an astrological scripture narrated by lord shiva. Ravanayan is the story about his war with bad people and his ultimate victory.

Ram and Lakshman, the princes of ayodhya were admonished and sent to exile in forest for their misdeeds by their father King Dasaratha.Ram's wife Sita,a pretty,coy lady feared the repercurssions of living alone in ayodhya and decided to be with her husband during the exile,she believed the wild forest to be safer than living as a single woman in a repressive society with three royal mother-in-laws.

One day during their exile in forest,Minakshi,the beautiful and much adored sister of King Ravana saw Ram. She was bewitched by his handsome looks and fell for him. Minakshi went upto Ram and expressed her feelings of desire for him. Ram and Laskhaman were shocked at the courage of this woman,back home in ayodhya no woman would have had the guts to propose a man.They would remain in their goongats and would have had only fleeting glances at their bridegrooms before wedding. Without hiding his disgust Lakshman retorted to Minakshi "O you filthy woman,how dare you speak like this.Women should not behave so.See our Sita here,she is a role model of how a woman should be.You are a demon".

Minakshi replied back "O you misogynist,which law of your land forbids women to express their feelings.If a man had done this you would have termed him as a courageous romantic and if a woman does it,she is a demon?.Being a sita,who does not speak against the men in her household however unjust they are is not how a woman should be". For the first time in their lives the princes of ayodhya heard a woman speak up against a man. An aghast Lakshman drew his sword and sliced the nose of the unarmed Minakshi.

The news of this demeaning act of attacking an unarmed person,that too a woman, travelled far and wide. The learned sages and the wise rishis wondered how a warrior prince right under the nose of a future king could do this. They were stunned by the ruthlessness and irrational behavior. When the mighty Ravana came to know what had befallen his loving sister,he was enraged and vengeance filled his heart. He rushed in his pushpaka vimana to the place where these two chauvinistic princes were living. To his utter dismay he could not find them in their hut,but he found sita. Though hesitant Ravana knew that to know the value of a woman,the princes of ayodhya should lose a woman they loved and respected. Ravana imprisoned sita and took her with him to Lanka.

Ram and Lakshman found that Sita had been abducted.How will they face the world now? how can they ever go back to ayodhya without her? the world will chastise their ability and manhood for not being able to safeguard a woman. Their masculine egos would be thrashed and their legacy relegated to oblivion. The princes decided to find out sita,they started their travel towards south.

Meanwhile in Lanka,Sita was put in a ladies community centre.There she was mocked and ridiculed by the lankan women. They could not imagine someone so coy and so dependent,and without any ability to rebel or speakup against men. Her misery was compounded when she came to know about the beautiful and intellectual Mandodari, Ravana's wife. People compared Sita's beauty to Mandodari but when they stuck a conversation with her,they scorned her intelligence or rather the lack of it.

On the other side luck favored Ram and Lakshman,they befriended Sugriva,the leader of a dark,strong and muscular race of beings from the south. Sugriva's story,of being exiled for betraying his brother,stuck a chord with Ram and Lakshman. Ram decides to help sugriva defeat his brother and in return use sugriva's army to find sita. As decided Ram killed from hiding Sugriva's brother Vali during their duel. This heinous act of killing another warrior from hiding sent shockwaves across the divine world.There were arguments and debates to discuss which one of the brothers' act was more vile,whether it was lakshman's act of hurting an unarmed woman or ram's.

With the help of Sugriva's army and his commander-in-chief Hanuman,ram was able to find that Sita was imprisoned in the island of lanka. He decided to build a bridge to cross over to Lanka. Ignoring the pleas of the sea god about the effect of a man made bridge on the ecology of the ocean and detrimental effects to sea life Ram decided to go ahead. Sugriva's strong and powerful army worked day in and day out and built the bridge to Lanka.

As soon as Ram and Sugriva's army landed in lanka,the mighty war started.The valor of sugriva's army was showcased by brave warriors like Hanuman, Jambavan and Angadh,they gave a run to the Ravana's organized army with their guerilla attacks. With the defection of vibishana,ravana's brother, during a crucial time of the war,Ram looked like having the upper hand. But the might of Ravana was not easy to overcome,his relentless attacks coordinated by his son,the invincible Indrajit and his brother the mighty kumbakarna was too much to handle for sugriva's army.

With sugriva's army wiped out,Ravana entered the battle,he captured both Ram and Lakshman as prisoners of war and admonished them to a life in lanka's prison. As they were being taken to the prison Ram was amazed to see the beauty of Lanka. The well laid streets,the content citizens,the wealth and economic strength of the kingdom left ram awestruck. From Vibishana Ram learnt more about the laws of the land and how prosperous a kingdom lanka is.

Bharata,ayodhya's king-in-charge,came to know about the fate of his brothers. He sent a special peace mission to Lanka and negotiated for the release of his loved family.He was ready to offer his life as a barter for his brothers'. Touched by this gesture,the noble Ravana ordered for the release of Ram,Lakshman and Sita.

As they were about to abode the vimana to ayodhya,Ram spoke to sita, "Dear Sita,my beloved.I love you and trust you more than myself.But with you living in Ravana's abode for so long I as well as our society has every reason to suspect your piety and faithfulness. So I would prefer you to walk thru fire to prove that you are the purest". By now, a visibly changed Sita contested this,"Dear ram,my lord,my ruler.I see your request to be rightful and just.At the same time,during my absence I do know you have lived in the forests and also enjoyed the luxuries of Sugriva's kingdom for a few days.Hence I request you to join with me for walking thru the fire. Let the world know we are the purest".

Taken aback by this Ram decided not to keep the test of fire for Sita, they flew back to ayodhya and Ram's rule started. Every input he had obtained from vibishana on lankan goverance was used efficiently and till today Ram's rule is considered as the golden rule of india....better known as Ram Rajya.

All was well :).

P.S: Ok Folks... you can send your kids,grand kids for story time to me :P

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Danish Cookies...

Was thinking hard on what can be the title to my first post from denmark...the place which I previously knew was famous for beer, cookies and beautiful blonde women. In my one month here I had tasted the first two and well err..no might be better off just watching the third :).

So now I know a lot more things for which Denmark especially Copenhagen is famous for..first on my list is the cost of living....its weird to find shops selling the same stuff with varying prices. Second on my list would be ..hmmm..drunken peeing in elevators....infact one of my colleague who is pretty interested in getting danish citizenship has got a trick up his sleeve...to be more danish than a dane...Drive a cycle to work, get tatooed, smoke like a chimney, gulp in 15 cans of beer and do the second thing mentioned in my list..voila..you get the green card!!. Luckily no one here is ready to follow his advice.

Stopping my cynicism, this is a very beautiful (but yes at times boring) place to live in. The environment consciousness of the people is historical to say the least..coming from a place where everything goes in a breakneck speed and in a rather loud way ..was feeling pretty lost initially. Imagine no one honking ,cars driving past with the slightest noise(blame it on volkswagen, BMWs and the german engineering), the danish language being spoken without the mouth being opened(no words even remotely resembling an oye or an ayyo) ..I got into this habit of clicking on my ears once a while to check if they are indeed working fine. My only living abroad experience was in New York, which can give a run to kolkata and mumbai on loudness meter and the number of Indians were higher than ones seen in Chennai.

So with life being pretty quite, I should be living peacefully..or am I..Nop not actually..there are enough worries clouding me up as and when I check news sites...like the time I came across a website asking readers to send pregnancy advice for aishwarya rai, people arguing on the philosophical value of delhi belly songs, bipasha basu's single status...phew...tension..tension... now lemme sip some beer, munch the cookies and well what else..watch the beautiful blonde walking across the street...nirvana

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Some more enlightenment...

It was yet another day where I was enjoying my morning snooze and was cursing my idea of joining the gym...Under the pretext of reading the newspaper I decided to steal some more sleep... to my horror one news article woke me up with a rude shock. A political party in tamilnadu had demanded full fledged ban on alcohol..

I mean ok lets not look into the credentials of this party which is pretty much a political whore, changing partners for every election..let's not consider the party's leaders had openly & unapologetically stated is ready for coalition with anyone who is ready to give his son a ministerial berth. Still what makes him so insane, I mean there are lakhs if not crores of drunkards in the state and he is going to lose the few votes which he manages to get !!.

After reading this shocker, I went to a state of trance...yup that state where the sleepy part of your brain plays,fights and finally convinces the other part, the one which is urging you to wake up,brush and get on.

At this magical moment I received an enlightenment...about how bars/pubs/toddy shops are so similiar to places of worship. Following are some of the similarities I could get hold of...

1) Both give peace from current state of misery

2) Both give a high [devotional high and the drunken high]

3) When this high reaches a crescendo we can hear voices speaking to us

4) Until the time the order is given and it is delivered to the table, the bartender is given the same respect as that of a priest/mullah

5) We fight for our beliefs. My friends believe vodka is a sissy drink and i believe whisky is for low-lives. Yeah at times this may lead to battles.

6) Brotherhoods grow.

7) When we leave, we are at peace with the world

8) Women are not given equal rights.

9) Both have created world's greatest philosophers

10) And yeah....We pay tips

Lets hope that very soon the religious drunkards start their own political party,to overcome exploitation...infact demand drinking habits based census next...jai vodka!

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Words...

Somethings cannot be explained in words

• The joy and elation I get when people laugh for my lines
• The goosebumps I get whenever i see the national flag being hoisted[even in not so known places by the not so VIP ones]
• The way I get tongue tied when I see this really gorgeous girl in office
• The sense of guilt which overcomes when I give a light thwack to my nephew during his dangerously mischievious avtars.
• Why I help anyone in need and then end up getting screwed- How the slightest of provocation to my mammoth ego changes me totally
• The rage when I see educated and rational people believing astrology, sunsign, sooth sayers and rakhi sawant's wedding [infact the last one is more believable than the others]
• The sense of belonging and attachment when I drive past my college/previous company
• The anger when me as a customer is not treated properly.
• The memories that rush thru when a familiar fragrance brushes past
• The sense of relief after hurling abuses on a rash chennai auto driver.

For others I have my blog :-)

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Harry Potter and the misery with ISPs....

Yeah very true,that would be the title of the next HP book had JKR been in Chennai[or any part of india for that matter]. I feel I am back to the neolithic, chalcolithic ages thanks to the atrocious indian ISPs. One fine day in my facebook-gtalk filled heaven horror stuck, the net was not working,i call up my ISP[hathway] and this is how the conversation went

Harassed Me[HM]: Hathway? My number is 17xxxx
Customer care[CC]: Yes sir. How can I help you.
HM : No internet here
CC: Are you from chennai?
HM: Yes.
CC: We have stopped service in chennai from today
HM: Whaaat? I never got an intimation
CC: Oh right now i intimated you sir
HM: What the...this is information,not intimation.
CC: Not much of difference
HM: Just last week I paid for the renewal,why did get renewals.
CC: You can collect it from our office by giving back the modem [bangs the phone]

Immediately I dial the other ISP-Airtel,he sends his agent in less than an hour and all formalities are done and connection promised in 3days,happy that order in heaven is restored I go to blore for a fun time[later about this].After 15days, 10mails, 20 calls and 30 abusive sms-es Airtel doesnt seem to relent.They are pretty focussed on their goal you see "harass the customer",finally I decide to go for BSNL..aah the babu there took the application form kept it aside and said the connection may or may not come in 15days, inspired by the meteorology department I say.

So there goes my life without internet,blogging,facebook,gtalk..ahemm ahemm sites..things which I thought I will never live without.Wish I can do a avada kedavra and wipe off all these customer unfriendly organizations.

Phew..what a sense of relief,sorry for all those who were forced to read the above cribbing, afterall life is not a bed of roses all time. Especially if you are a customer in india.

Coming back to the blore trip,it was amazing..in the sense there are two cities which are say 5hours apart and everything changes. Especially the social circuit.In one finding a restaurant which provides good food with booze is a herculean task,while in the other we can find one in every street.While one has shady govt controlled wine shops prividing IMFL the other had spanky pubs with a great variety to offer.Err..I am on to another crib loop, anyway we had a blast of a time in HRC,it is a wonderful place with great ambience,lovely stuff and [most importanlty]service,would keep going back again and again. The visit was for a wedding of blog pals[both the guy n gal met thru blogs] and yeah we also met a kiddo blogger and it was time well spent.

Then comes the question which I face very often nowadays-changes post engagement. Well the courting period is pretty courteous[so far] and not too many changes in life,though I do spend some extra minutes over the phone..say 100 minutes,sorry am bad in converting minutes to hours :D. And for all those single folks out there who are taunting me with their freedome of movement [and other things] I have found some reasons to get married,listing some here

• I have someone to share my EMIs
• No more stag entries
• All those old uncles/aunties will stop asking when I am getting married[maaan this was a real pain in you-know-where]
• No friend/colleague will embarass me by introducing me to his/her awkward looking pal with the hope that we will get hitched
• I can stop blaming everything on the government
• I get an entire branch to my family tree [which also means few more tickets sold for the rebelz shows :P]
• And yeah you don't need to have a blog to crib

I know there are a 1000 more reasons not to get married but then since I am on this side of the shore I get dyslexic when I try reading them :P

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Neuschwanstein...

I decided to put up a post and the first hurdle as usual was the title. Wonder why I spend so much time thinking about a title,bcoz my posts are no where coherent or sensible. Speak about blog's reflecting your personality.So this title or word was something engraved on a memorabilia which rests on my desk. Google it and I am sure something interesting will turn up :-)

Life is going really cool,every day is an adventure. Imagine stepping into work and seeing if your swipe card/system login works just to confirm you still have a job. Trust me the kinda happiness I get after a successful login every morning....is orgasmic. I have a job..phew. And why do people think I am not serious, comeon being on bench[or even being pink slipped for that matter] is not the end of the world. Most of the folks try to fake a straight-face and end up looking like their zipper got stuck in the wrong place..

There are more serious things than my work at office as such. How is that I find the same girl strikingly attractive one day and too bland n boring the next day,wonder if she has a two-face!! Not the villain in batman series, but i am seriously worried that if at all I gather all my guts and ask her out who will I meet? the attractive one or the dreary one...aah...the troubles of an unmarried man. I am searching for a therapist to cure this two-face syndrome.

And yeah things havent been rosy all around,there was an unexpected death. A close friend's dad expired just a week before his wedding. I mean the whole thing happened in a jiffy, 10mins ago the man was there all pumped up getting things in order for his son's wedding - a massive cardiac arrest - and he is no more. Situations like this make us ask a hundred questions,though we know there are no answers.

Came across this beautiful poetry of Aurobindo Gosh - The Fear of Life and Death

Death wanders through our lives at will, sweet Death
Is busy with each intake of our breath.
Why do you fear her? Lo, her laughing face
All rosy with the light of jocund grace !

A kind and lovely maiden culling flowers
In a sweet garden fresh with vernal showers,
This is the thing you fear, young portress bright
Who opens to our souls the worlds of light.

Is it because the twisted stem must feel
Pain when the tenderest hands its glory steal?
Is it because the flowerless stalk droops dull
And ghastly now that was so beautiful?

Or is it the opening portal's horrid jar
That shakes you, feeble souls of courage bare?
Death is but changing of our robes to wait
In wedding garments at the Eternal's gate

Not sure if this little poetry can console people,but surely makes us realize death is not just the end for someone but rather a journey towards the end of so many things for the loved ones of the demised.

Wish I could do everything I want before death touches me. The wishes range from the highly impossible like - writing that great script which future generation of screen writer's use as a bible, perform that role which would outshine a charles heston or gielgud - to the downright silly like confessing all my blunders, mischiefs and actions....yes rajath I was the one who stole your valuable hero pen in 6th grade and yeah madhuri I was the culprit who kept that stupid love letter in your shoes during the lab session in 9th grade...thank god the probability of rajath or madhuri reading this is next to zero :-)

Many if not all of us have a last wish ...my dad wants his last breathe to be in native village...my grandpa's was to visit kasi but we could not take him to the kasi theatre too. My sindhi friend wishes to visit Lahore once before his penultimate hour...humans and our obsession with death, thinking about it, makes us understand Egyptians better!!

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Hello blog....

After a pretty long time [ I suppose] am back to blogging. Don't think I can write anything coherent so trying to list down my activities

• Had an awesome trip to Hyderabad,the best part all the people who made is awesome were blog pals. The guy who accompanied me to the trip, the person who invited us and most importantly the wonderful man who made the whole trip memorable. I knew all of them thru blogs yet never felt they were any different from other friends. Cheers to the spirit of blogging.
  
  
• Hyderabad trip can be summarized as Eat-Go around-Eat-Go around-Eat-party-Eat-Sleep-Wakeup- Eat-Go around. All this in an infinite loop. Add to it the Eat part mostly was biryani, not just normal biryanis... yummilacious hyderabadi biryani. As soon as we gorged down the last bit of paradise biryani,there was this great sense of achievement and bliss which covered us. Finally mission accomplished...burrp
  
  
• With the train man around we never needed any guide for the city, he knows the history, geography, civics, chemisty and many more subjects of hyderabad more than what the nizams would have ever known. He has a deep love for the city and its cuisine,lucky us got to eat at the best places and visit the most important spots.
  
  
• Not sure if it was the over eating spree or the hot weather, fell sick with typhoid and was on a curd-rice wonly diet for ten days...it sucks
  
  
• If there is something more suckier than the above point, got to admit it is IPL and it's on-your-face commercialization. When the cricket jockeys like gavaskar, shashtri over hype all the matches as the match of the century and then ball of the tournament, shot of the decade, catch of the millenium... God give us a break..nop not the strategic breaks with Ads.
  
  
• I suddenly find every girl I come across attractive!! The best[or worst]part, I dumped my I-can't-woo tendencies and stuck a converstaion with couple of them n even got their numbers. Phew tell me about the side effects of typhoid...it's pretty baad I shud say.
  
  
• Bought a new car, it looks like a toy car[a Wagon R]but then serves the purpose. Had the most irritating 2hours of my life when the car was delivered, right from the showroom guys to my parents wanted a 100 poojas[rituals] to be performed. At the end of which the red color car was covered with so much petals and other stuff I forgot which color I had booked for. These theists...argh.
  
  
• They have pink slipped my team mate...now it's like Mera number kab aayega ?. Wish to quit the job and go for a long trip across India. Hmmm.....If wishes were horses
  
  
• Elections are up and still undecided as to which moron to vote, probably vote for some independent candidate so that I feel content that I did vote and at the same time don't feel guilty I chose another corrupt dumbass to represent me.
  
  
• Seriously contemplating to take up sanyas full time and start an ashram to preach gyaan and whenever I think of this I feel I am getting old.
  
  
• Met my schoolday crush in a friend's post wedding dinner, she is a mother of two and is like a walking talking blubber...how times change. Whenever I come across the previous point I think of her and feel younger ..Complex mind I have got.

---The End---

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The Alicious tag...

Was tagged by alice to write 25 random things about myself.I already owe her some royalty with regards to her name,which I have no plans of paying :)... And add to it when on bench boredom just kills you...Thanks to this tag it helped me to while away some time. Here it is..

[Seriously I did not get any other image for "25" :P]

1. I hate watching movies. I feel it's a waste of 3hours, especially the normal commercial fare which doesn't add anything to my creative self.

2. My idea of a start-up is starting my own religion or at least an ashram

3. I am what they call a metro sexual. I don't mind folks calling me that,I take care of my hair and skin so that I don’t end up bald or wrinkled when am in late 30s. Metro sexual is better than being addressed as the wrinkled bald man :D

4. I love to get high and stoned ,but sadly my capacity has quadrupled of late and in my last binge drinking attempt even 4 large rounds of Smirnoff didn't shake or stir me. Some serious issue.

5. Am a crazy fan of govinda and I believe he is the true desi style Icon. I wore costumes of same color as he did once, and they quarantined me in college..hmph

6. BIG time narcissist. I have a two mirrors in my room, one in the workplace and even my bike's rear view mirror is focused on my face.

7. I am crazy about Rakhi Sawant,Paris hilton and Sambhavna seth..I know most of you would be cleaning your tongues after reading out these names..but..well serious issue no-2

8. There are times I get up and move to some place/room and turn blank..I totally forget the reason for going there. Trust me it's very embarrassing, especially if it's the loo at office.

9. I am totally mesmerized by people of Mongoloid origin[guess addressing them as chinky is racist,some of them said it hurts].I find them cute and adorable. I just get rooted to where I am and start ogling at girls and babies of Mongoloid origin. In fact a few times was doing that at guys too...ok ok serious issue no-3. Gosh whats this tag doing to me..making me feel like rushing to get an appointment with psychiatrist

10. I don't overtake or race ahead of lady drivers who overtake me. I find that totally amateurish and immature.

11.I love surprising myself, like doing something totally wacky once a while. Enrolling in guitar classes was one of them and not going to it regularly wasn't too surprising :)

12.I think I am the master of spoofs. I can write a spoof of any movie/book and can claim confidently that it would make people laugh.

13. I hate homophobics..I mean why do people feel threatened by what a person does in his/her bedroom. That that man/woman that that preferences. We have more dangerous people at lose in the society than homosexuals.

14. I have more break-ups than the number of fingers in my hand :D

15....Yeah 15 is the number of approximate breakups so far and counting !!!

16. I want to become famous because I wish to write an autobiography.

17. I dream to live like Rudyard Kipling.

18. I am nowhere like my blog. I mean people build an image of me after reading my blog only to surprise themselves by running into a self-indulgent, silent guy.

19. At any given point of time my mind would be thinking of 5 different things on a parallel processing mode.

20. Give me a computer with AOE and internet I would be sitting there till eternity.

21. I hate being neutral in times of a crisis. I believe in this saying "The hottest corners of hell are saved for those who are neutral in times of crisis"

22. Many[especially girls] find me rude, haughty, arrogant and high-headed...actually I like being called that :-)

23.When I am passionate about something I get overconfident about my abilities to do it. To the extent that I go on to say even if all the actors fall sick I will play every role in the play and make it a hit :)

24. I am a big time egoistic bum who is hyper sensitive[though I seldom exhibit it]. Someone doesn’t reply to my mails or doesn’t return my hi or hello. I mark them and post their name in my to-be-assassinated-soon list.

25. I never have my shoe laces tied.

If you are bored or suffering from blogger's block or want to tell something more about yourself to your blog reader's I request you to take this tag up.

---The End ---

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The BIG Fat Indian Arranged Marriage...

Act 1
The drama unfolds when an uncle or aunt's comments[rather a snide remark] make our parents think that their kid is getting really old and it's time he/she stops enjoying life. After all happiness is not everything in life. So they conclude we are ready for the holy union. The same uncles and aunts are then used for broadcasting the availability of an eligible bachelor/spinster in the household.

Act II
The show starts with a bang. With phrases like "Fair,slim,goodlooking girl wanted"(for a Bappi Lahiri look alike)... or a "Boy with decent family background and clean habits"(for a girl who idolizes Rakhi Sawant) going around in matrimonial columns or portals.

Act III
The verification, validation and elimination round. Innumerable matches are browsed and are eliminated based on pedigree[The Aunt: The bride's sister's brother-in-law is married to a person from another community it seems..how blasphemous].

Mars is in second house and Venus is in 4th house, that's a bad combination for a horoscope you see. If we marry this person there will be bad luck for the next 14 generations.The groom's father, mother, brother, sister and puppy will get a cardiac arrest, a tsunami will strike from the flush and engulf the house. No way we can take a person with this kind of horrorscope !! -- This is the uncle-ji.

A year passes by … they get bored and lose hope with this act. Then starts the phenomenon called as *.* search. Well it goes like this.........
First the parents would have started off with the search string 'Beautiful iyengar girl looking out for vadakalai iyengar boy preferably professionally qualified'...then due to lower success rate it is now changed to 'Beautiful iyengar bride looking for iyengar professionally qualifed groom'.W ith not much success either the search criteria is transformed to 'Iyengar girl looking for brahmin boy'...then at a later point changes to vegetarian boy. Finally the search is like Bridegroom wanted..caste, community no bar(Wah! wah!what a broad mindedness)...this implies to all castes,communities and creeds(last survey counted more than 50 thousand castes in my state alone)

ACT IV
At last the wedding gets fixed with some compromise or the other. Then comes the huge cost involved in an arranged marriage. The bride's & groom's side competes in building up a crowd. Hence we can see old pals, school/tuition teachers, plumbers, car mechanics, newspaper boy anyone and everyone who the bride or groom's side knows. We need witnesses for once in a lifetime occurrence you see. Of course jewels, silk saris and 'n' number of food varieties are there in the list by default.

The compromises too are not reached without a reason. The color and looks of the bride determines the dowry rate(let's not be so crass..its called kanyadhaan).The fair & slim girl conditions can be compromised if a few bucks are passed.

ACT V
Post all the drama and tamasha slowly the truth starts sinking in for the boy and girl. The boy thinks his wife is extremely beautiful, caring and would bear him kids who would win Spelling bee contests. But she may turn out to be someone who hates guy's who has parents or someone who won’t get a proper sleep if she hasn't heard the sound of her hubby's credit card being swiped every day.

And the girl who was expecting this caring and sensitive husband, may realize her man is as caring as Emperor Nero and the sense part..well he may be a non-sense though, especially if it's someone like me, whose idea of a fashion icon is govinda and the only sport he plays is throwing pop-corn into his mouth as he watches IPL,ICL,India Vs.Holland, Ranji trophy and any cricket match played on the television.

Final ACT
The man and woman realize there is no way to get out of this and either end up loving each other, probably sympathizing with the other’s plight Or they keep the marriage intact by remaining single deep inside their hearts.

Yes yes.. accepted arranged marriages have a positive side too. It's like a huge family reunion and two unconnected families coming together..where else can we expect the guy serving sambhar or one giving you rose milk to be a distant relative and gives aptitude books a run for the money in solving the blood relations puzzle.

With all its pitfalls and drawbacks the show still goes on with the BIG Fat Indian arranged marriage.

And yeah the Rebelz take on the same - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-VpTnliFRk ;-)

----The End----

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The ideal partner....

I loved reading this... :-)

The ideal man by the woman...

Before I go to to sleep,
I pray for a man who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong,
For me he always sings a song.
One who thinks before he speaks,
And wont be one of those tech geeks,
I pray he’s gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my feet and begs to do more.
Let me have a man who’ll make love to my mind,
Remembers what i wore when we last dined,
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

The ideal woman by the man...

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with
Voluptuous body who owns a bar on a golf course,
And loves to send me fishing and hunting. This
Doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a shit

-- The End --- Read more!!

Fishing on the net.

INTERNET - A Magical world which has changed lives, for good or bad is a different question altogether. The internet connection at my place was down for a few hours, making me feel downcast, frustrated and disgusted[with my ISP]. When I got a casual we-will-look-into-the- issue reply from my ISP, it just capped my anger and I became as violent as the chennai lawyers. I blasted the customer support guy and called names at the company before he disconnected it. Aaah the sense of satisfaction that came upon me,these are times one realizes the importance of the middle finger.

I just decided to pen down [or rather blog down] my experiences with internet. As of now I am reading some quality management manuals from the net to give a presentation which is a part of my annual goals..unfortunately the only way I am remotely connected to kwality is the vanilla cup-icecreams which I devour. So my scope of getting good ratings post the presentation is lower than the probability of sonia gandhi beating the william sisters in a bout[tennis or boxing..though I prefer the latter].

Leaving the presentation and the associated wonderful thoughts of my boss..my first brush with internet came 6years back. The intro to internet was a simple one, my friend came up and said "Dude there is a new way to get girlfriends". With my tom cruise + brad pitt physical appearance hardly being appreciated in real world, I decided to have a shy @ the virtual world.This my friends was the noble and intellectual intention which drove me towards internet & IT revolution.

I was lucky to some extent, started chatting with filipino and indonesian girls who more often looked like a football with a cute face and all of them were identical[I know they would have felt the same about indian guys]. Add to that surfing costed a real fortune those days. So net for me was like having a pack of marijuana, addictive but with lots of ripple effects especially on my pocket.

Slowly I learnt about the magic of search engines, type in anything and lo! you get the answer. I remember my first search string 'pam anderson's ***' and had an enlightening and informative session. Finally bored with my filipino mates I typed a search string in frustration 'indian girlfriends'...yeah I am a despo but I was a patriotc despo. Jai Hind!

Thus ended my teenage (mis)adventures with the network of networks and when fate turned me into a software engineer the real power of internet dawned upon me. Guess my most exciting moment with internet came when I downloaded a program right during my semester practical exams making a few honest souls around me faint. Trust me when I say many people used me as
a case study to quote about evils of the internet.

By the tird year of college google had become my goddess, friend, lover, sometimes a brat too..on the whole an integral part of me.Helped me in my researches(useful/educative ones I meant), made me realise that I am good in writing not just in slam books but also on the web which had crazy and like mided folks.Yeah it had its not so good effects on me like making me a religious skeptic, an amateur feminist, making me to think that a person exists only if he has a mailbox or to imagine that the fellow bloggers are as good & sweet as their pages(surely I aint as wicked or despo as my page depcits me to)....and many more.

There are times I do secretly type in my first love's name and click on search hoping to find her somewhere screaming and professing her love for me,I know it sounds as intelligent as a kid showing ta ta to a flight travelling 1000s of kms above his head but still that's the magic of internet...You expect anything and everything from it.

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The Art of wooing....duh!!

I am almost nearing 30, ok am not sure whether I should feel sad about getting old or feel happy that I have more years of work experience and hence demand more pay. Whatsoever!! This post is not about me getting old,but about how I have totally forgotten something which I could claim I was pretty good at just a few years back - the art of wooing.

I remember the good old training batch days in my previous company,nop I wasn't a cassanova but I could atleast go up to totally unknown girl,start a topic,build an interesting conversation and a rapport[which eventually ends with exchange of phone numbers and some evenings in CCD]. But now...duh!!..to put it mildly, if I were a girl I won't fall for myself[I meant a boring, self occupied guy like me].

I have totally lost it. May be the corporate culture has made me more professional and I don't venture out of topics other than the boring,bland official ones with the pretty girls at work place, or may be I have got more mature with time and know that girls[or rather women] don't fall for cool looking/sounding strangers or may be another weird reason,my theare group, at times I say goodbye to my flirtatious alter ego[especially during auditions] since any wrong impression created by me might end up giving bad reputation to the whole theatre group[not that all the other guys involved are Ram avtars..still]..thousands of may bes but the final conclusion is that I am pretty boring man.There are times when Ms.Destiny throws me in the company of pretty girls but then approaching them?.. I am as confident as Manmohan singh facing an over from Brett lee at the Gabba pitch..duh!! again.

Sheesh..this post in going into the self sympathy mode.Hope it's fine to do it once in a while, especially after my travails last week. Last thurday was one of those rarest days where I got a good bunch of folks to visit a club, we hit a place called escape which normally overflows with stags but that lucky nite it had lot of pretty girls.Not just pretty but kinda non-committed and ready to dance with anyone kinds[chuck the fact away that they would be 18-19year olds].

Add to it I was getting lots of positive vibes from a pretty girl in turquoise blue top.Ok I know only blue,at the max sky blue,never heard about a color called turquoise. The only turqoise I know is this mineral which is the phosphate form of copper and aluminium, chemical formula CuAl6(PO4)4(OH)8·4H2O...hope you get an idea into how boring I am now. The lady who accompanied me explained it as turquoise blue [women n colors..aah...I don't mind being called color blind].Getting on with the story this TB girl [turquoise blue n not tuberclosis] was giving a sweet smile at me [or was it the effect of her vodka] and we also had a decent dance together,first time I twirled around someone without dropping the person and getting booked for attempt to muder, also the twirl was graceful ,not my normal messy hands & necks thingy.

Yet I was stuck in my own world,unable to make the move and have a proper chat with her or even strike a conversation. I had no clue as to which topic I can speak about,surely not about the chemical formula of turqoise..seriously felt like how sanjay singhania of ghajini would feel after the 15th minute. Reconciling to the fact that nothing is gonna happen I then decided to do something smarter,spend time with the folks who I had for company and we did have a fun time.

Let me stop cribbing and go n grab this book called "Art of wooing" authored by a boston based social psychologist[funky term that..wouldn't girls love to speak with me if I claim to be one]. At the same time continue sighing at the green eyed beauty in my office until I get back a little bit of that lost art. Amen!!!

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Ram Sena here I come....

Long hours in office and even worse, working on weekends have made sure that I don't blog often, much to the happiness of many souls who got weeded out with my last post. But then I am back..argh I sound like some wannabe tamil super star who turns around stylishly and tells "I am back" though in reality none missed me :-).

Coming back to the topic (I am resolved this time around), the disgusting act @ mangalore pub stood as a testimony for the lack of historical/cultural value of the goondas involved. What’s all the fuss about? For thousands of years alcohol has been a part of indian culture and add to it ramayan, mahabharat speak about separate shalas for drinking..now aren't they kind of pubs. So buggers better don't stop me from following my ancient traditions. Jai Shri ram ki...three cheers..hic!!

And now coming to my other grouse..the 2d Saturday of this month, the day I dread the most and my annual brush with it. Every year when the calendar in my house screams Feb.14th I feel so frustrated and hope tragedies like a nuclear war, a meteor strike or a new SRK release takes place.

Should be a case of sour grapes, I am no 'pyar ki dushman' like the hindi movie heroinee's dad. When I hear questions like 'so what you do on feb14th' or a weird stare as if I am an alien when I say 'I don't have a girlfriend', seriously feel the idea of some huge scale tragedy is better.If I sound like a despo well fine I guess I am one.. Especially a cyber despo who hunts for victims on the net so if you know me personally count your days.

This may be because I am still waiting to get my kind of girl.. I know, I know such a weird imagination, and finding that kind of girl would be as be as tough as making me wear Kareena's jeans.

My first experience of VD(valentines day..if u remember a disease with the same short form I can't help it) was during my first year of college. I was in Loyola, an all guy’s college and my gang of friends bought around 10 tickets for a movie on feb14th.It fell on the first Friday, a day where we can go an hour late to college, thanks to the holy mass. We did not have an inkling of the holy and special importance of Feb 14th. On that specific day only 4 of us cud make to the film hall and Lo!! There was a sea of humanity. Guys of different shapes, sizes and colors with girls of the same specifications had crowded there, the guys holding their partner's hands so tightly as though she is gonna run away with a better looking one and the girls giggling for sweet nothings. Maaan we really felt left out and wanted to scream our hearts, lungs, kidneys out "I too want a girl!!!” but finally my brain(sometimes it works too) thought of an idea. We decided to sell all the 10 tickets we had, what with some of the crazy morons ready to shell out a bomb for it. After bumper sales with 300% profit we had a blast of a time in our own way. So VD had created some young entrepreneurs. Hail VD and down with those who are against it.

But soon after that year the reality of VD stuck me and most of my pals did settle with one or the other (meant the girl or her close pal who was messenger of love) for a VD date. And I take utmost care as to what to do on VD, this is applicable to all singles who are reading this a) Listen to music that is the utterly unromantic probably hearing Annu mallik/Reshammiya sing a duet will give some reasons to live thru the dreaded day b) Read about love stories which have failed or of stories about a college in Chennai which suspends guys or gals if they speak with each other.

Next is selecting the right TV channel preferably sports or cartoon, if at all you enter into the music channels, sorry I can assure you that you will end up drinking rat poison or aerated drink outta depression.They normally show the love affair of the newspaper boy, dhoodhwalla, dabbawalla and who not? and this is what seriously makes me to join the Ram sena.

If you take all the above mentioned precautions, hopefully you will carry on like me with the desperate single guy (DSG..wow sounds like DGP)tag without ending up as a violent fanatic thrashing girls at pubs. Though my DSG tag is fastly moving towards the danger of being taken off,I expect it to hang in her for few more months. So guys your pretty lady colleagues, neighbour's daughter, uncle's brother-in-law's niece and every other lady whom you have a crush on are still not safe...Beware!!

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Masakali...Masakali...

A sleepy afternoon at office[ yes..yes...damn it!! working on a long weekend] have put masakali in a loop and am hearing it over n over again[i know that's wat happens when played in a loop still]. Addictive I say, add to it the visuals of the song which run thru my mind. A cute sonam kapoor dancing with pigeon on her head...*sigh*...she looks a bit anorexic but adorable no doubt. Also liked her guts when she took on the old vixen shoba de.

Aah did I divert the topic? happens many times... like the other day at office we started speaking about fitness, john abraham came in and then the topic drifted off to bips, her you-know-whats... well men you know. We are like boomerangs, wherever we start the discussion ends in the same thing.

Coming back to Masakali[trying to] I dont' understand 40% of the lyrics, the other 60% has challenging words repeated...like masakali,matakali,jatak,burrrr...burrr. As an amatuer lyricist-Yesss I had written english lyrics for a tamil pop album, the album was a sell out, the only two released copies were bought by the music composer and his Sasural- I am amazed by some of the lyrics in our movies songs. Imagine Rang de basanti's title track by daler the first 3 lines are of great literary value, it goes "ding ding ding ding". Having heard ARR for the past 17 years[now I feel as old as dev anand] the use of catchy words has been his trademark and best part is rarely does it sound odd. It gel's with music and yeah tough to write an alternate for daler's energetic "ding ding ding". Next time you hear a ARR composition keep an eaye[or an ear] for this.

Ok I started the previous para with the aim of highlighting the amusing lyrics I have heard but ended up praising ARR. This is getting tough, with less than 6 hours of sleep in last 48 hours at work, blood shot eyes and trying to write a comprehensible post...The new project kick off is kicking me hard, so all those whose posts I have missed...a BIG sorry, forgiveness is next to godliness. So try to take the second spot after god.

The hectic weekend brings back memories of the previous weekend. That was something which I wish I could have every time, a trip to yercaud with a cool bunch of buddies. Decided to try something out of the world and yess it was weed!!. Weedy trip I shud say, but frankly it wasn't a great or memorabe experience. Weed is not for weirdos like me I suppose. Having a drink and getting a high is ok, but smoking something and forgetting the whole sense of time & space... often thinking abt the dialogue which indian movie actors utter when they regain consciousness i.e "Mein kahan ho". It's good if the weeder[one who smokes it] has happy memories and can go on a jolly trip.....surely it's not for loser's like me :D.

As of now this post looks like a weedy post...pointless,intentless,going towards nowhere, and... argh...lemme stop it righ here. Adios....have a great weedend..err...weekend..

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The weekend that was.

Normally I avoid writing the year that was, thanks to my memory which is as good as an indian voter. But the weekend that passed off was a pretty active one so thought of penning it down. Will also help me in drawing up my 2009 year end post.

• A bachelor party @ GRT granddays.The meal was so sumptuous that i ended up dozing in the lobby. Realized a delicious heavy meal can be a good substitute for alcohol :).No doubt gujjus eat so much, probably to get over the fact they are in a dry state :D.
  

• Also realized I am dumb with regards to mechanics.Damn my bike.
  

• Received the wedding invite of one of my..wat can i say..crush may be!! Went into a poignant mood n was thinking how it wud have been had my name been there.Well we never think abt how it wud be if Bush won an IQ contest, Manmohan Singh wore a pink bikini or Bappi Lahiri wins gold in an athletic meet. So lemme leave that "how it wud have been" part alone.
  

• Another binge shopping spree, I am sure to become bankrupt soon. Will need to fake my balance sheet like Mr.Raju,only then there is a prospect of someone giving their girl to me.
  

• Saw a movie and realized I am a very loyal lover, been in love with the same girl for the past 8years,a mean achievement amidst fickle-minded men..The girl is named aishwarya and her dad is Mr.Rai,ofcoz hubby is Mr.Abhishek and haan the movie was guru
  

• Saturday was an activity filled day. Post the bachelor party went to a toastmasters club meeting. Was a a very normal one,until I came across anupam. He had a serious speech impairment and for speaking out a single sentence it takes 5 attempts[for framing it word by word] and more than 2 minutes.Yet he went on to speak and completed it amidst loud applauds. The kind of will power he had to overcome his issue, all my troubles and problems looked like a speck in front of that.
  

• Then came the most happening event of the day. Thanks to some chennai bloggers, we went to a French folkdance show. As we settled down in the comfort of our chairs the organizer nick took the mic and informed it is not a show but a workshop and everyone inside the hall shud join in for the dance. Initially I planned to run out,but on seeing a few really pretty girls stay put :D.
  It was total fun and some of the dances they taught were named like rigodon, polka, mazurka,farandole...Well who is bothered abt the name of the dance, most of them had guys n girls dancing with different partners :D. The dances reminded some of our kindergarden games and were fun, though energy sapping. After a long time I slept for 8hours that nite. The best add-on of the event was the 2 cute kids of the organizing couple who were running & falling all over the place and providing a different kinda entertainment.
  

• Sunday,the same bloggers bunch and went to bookfair. Bought a book by Richard dawkins, was really cheap when compared to the price tag displayed @ posh bookshops. Just that the fair was too crowded and got out in less than 2hours to avoid death by suffocation
  
  A kind request to folks from Bengaluruu.Me and my theatre group are planning to stage a show o'er there and if you do know any good[read as one who charges the lowest and most nominal rates :P] event management/marketing company which can help in organizing the show/sponsor hunting please do mail me at nautankey@gmail.com. Thank you in advance.
  
  Adios

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Some old poetry.

As I lay in my couch to get my long vanished sleep,
My heart thinks of her.....thoughts so deep.
The morning sun tries to awaken me but I could do
nothing but cry,
Why do some give us those splendid moments and
turn around to lie?

Love is a tough taskmaster and gives us heart breaks
thru ones whom we loved and cared,
The ones with whom we dreamt that our bliss and distress will
forever be shared.

Days have passed since my heart loved her last,
Whilst I try to forget that painful past,
Knowing well that wud happen when death ferries her mast.

Well I know too much attempt at rhyming-whyming but then that's what poetry is when you were 19 :-)

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One pipty tag !!

Wogay looks like till 21st my mind will be on a strike and nothing useful or cohesive will come out, those who think when has it given useful/cohesive thoughts are to be presented with a fully paid holiday package to afghanistan!!.

Thanks to these tags this space is surviving. Was tagged by the revenrend GoST Zephy, it was about making bold all the things I had done in my short useless life. Since it was just coloring work took it up with a glee :-). Here it goes.

01. Bought everyone inthe bar a drink - Will do it the day Big B's bahu walks out of his house and comes to me
02. Swam with dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree - The guava tree in my old house before shifting. Was a sentimental moment
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea - Some resort in ECR we were in tents and watching the lighting storm, in few mins the downpur drenched us
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise - After the drenching sleeping in wet dress was not a good idea
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game - If the cric matches @ Chepauk are counted
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa - May be the annanagar tower
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables - onions and bananas
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars - when we had power cuts and no generator back ups
20. Changed a baby’s diaper - My almost 2yr old nephew is what we call an urine tanker, needs a change once in an hour.
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower - I aint a karan johar fan
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment - Actually the worst possible moment worsens after this fit
27. Had a food fight - Everyday in school and college
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger - And did not pursue as she wanted her hubby n kid to come along
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can - Yes I do sing
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse (On TV)
34. Ridden a roller coaster - Kishkinta and VGP :)
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking - Thats what happens when we get drunk with champagne
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day - Eeeth was the Arabian accenth
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment - Everytime I see my pay cheque
39. Had two hard drives for your computer - Once had 4 connected and formatted the wrong one
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk - Comrades in arms
42. Had amazing friends - Not sure if they share the feelings
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love - Well movies run for 3 hours but hearbreak lasts pretty long,latesht sameera
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them - It was a pretty crowded restaurant and not much of a choice for me as well as him.
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero - I am hollowman in all my team meetings
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theatre
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business - kind of though can't call it a full fledged one
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken - still feeling lucky about that
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo - The stick ons and painted ones
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on a television news program as an “expert”
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on Stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten Shark - Baby shark, what they call sura puttu
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone - Do ya count my hosue during mom n dad's fights :P
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over - planning to do this in 2009
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking with the windows open - Do that even in bike
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived - And realized walking in railway tracks in not the smartest thing to do
105. Wrote articles for a large publication - Two of them, wish I was still doing that
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback - Do that often as I hate flashbacks
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a TV game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol - At Marina beach
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse - Marina beach again
119. Had major surgery - root canal can't be called major naa
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period - After a walk to tirupathi
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about - About being a teetotaller :)
130. Gone back to school - And felt miserable at its current sate
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach (I stamped it accidentally! Eeeeeks!!)
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read - Don't ask me who it was
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating - Felt horrible after that and did not touch meat for 3-4 months
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language - It was hilarious and awesome
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you - If lyrics is considered as art work
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair - Burgndy it was
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life - And felt happy that my blood is from the universal donors group

61.. .Hmm guess I have had an ok life!!. Left the tagging other's part as I thought it's too long a tag to be taken up with a smile :)... But have found people who can still do this with a smile, so I hereby tag Aparna, Swarna, Bhargavi and Vimmuuu. Read more!!

An unfair world.

With the arranged marriage drama going with full josh in mine as well as my other friends’ places ["You guys are in the wrong side of 20s and if it become 30 no one will give girl for you"-a pretty threatening warning from my friend's mom].One thing which stuck me was the matrimonial ads - Fair, slim, good looking girl. The four letter F word [don’t let skewed thoughts take over your mind I meant-FAIR] is like THE priority for the search.

I vividly remember the ad where the father of an ex-not-so-pretty girl exclaims 'Kundali mil gayee' after she turns pretty using the Fair n Sickly cream and bumps into handsome young man. Though I wish we had many more sportive fathers like that, my mind starts processing the question why Indians are obsessed with fairness. This obsession has no gender bias,while all the girls want the color of nicole kidman the guys too with the advent of specialized male fairness creams want a piece of the cake[SRK ad was seriously Ewww I could digest his bath tub adventure].

If I am gonna claim that I don’t get attracted to the lighter skinned ones that would be like Mullah omar taking white lilies to the American air bombers. But then more than the color its the complexion which plays an important role. Sadly the gullible consumers don’t know the difference between color and complexion and get fooled by the false claims of fairness cream ads.

The Indian fairness cream market is worth a whopping 800 crore so why would they think about ethics to put up racist ads. It’s an open secret that fairness creams don’t make us fair. Unless until they can go through the epidermis [the outer layer of skin] they can no way make us fair. But then they can whiten us temporarily like bleaching agents by reducing melanin.

So why all this gyaan about fairness now? Well last week this supposedly enlightened blog owner went to a beauty salon, fell for the sweet talk of lady receptionist and agreed to get a skin lightening treatment done, total cost only 2k!! The beautician was waxing eloquence of how I would look after two days with the effect of the treatment blooming on my face then. The net result-well it has been 4 days since and the cute delhiwali across my bay who used to give a coy smile has stopped that too. Thanks for all the blooming.

This is a nation where even the gods are obsessed with color, imagine Lord Krishna asking his mommy Yashoda - "Radha kyun gori, main kyun kaala?" meaning "Why is Radha so fair, while I am so dark?”. What am I a mere mortal when compared to that :-) . So next time I am gonna try that skin de-pigmentation treatment which costs twice the GDP of Rwanda, let me check the blooming effect then.

Who knows may be the girls are asking for fair, handsome guy with 6-packs in matrimonial ads. Let me have at least one of those. Or even better I may be noticed in any of the media parties which I get invites by mistake and bag a chance to act in movies. Then you guys would see me in Page 3 or in a stardust cover with my right hand around Katrina, left on Minisha Lamba, Genelia pleading to give her the half eaten apple in my hand and ......hmmmm life is a weird cauldron indeed :-)

Read more!!