Sunday, September 18, 2011
A Different take :-)
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Some more enlightenment...
I mean ok lets not look into the credentials of this party which is pretty much a political whore, changing partners for every election..let's not consider the party's leaders had openly & unapologetically stated is ready for coalition with anyone who is ready to give his son a ministerial berth. Still what makes him so insane, I mean there are lakhs if not crores of drunkards in the state and he is going to lose the few votes which he manages to get !!.
After reading this shocker, I went to a state of trance...yup that state where the sleepy part of your brain plays,fights and finally convinces the other part, the one which is urging you to wake up,brush and get on.
At this magical moment I received an enlightenment...about how bars/pubs/toddy shops are so similiar to places of worship. Following are some of the similarities I could get hold of...
1) Both give peace from current state of misery
2) Both give a high [devotional high and the drunken high]
3) When this high reaches a crescendo we can hear voices speaking to us
4) Until the time the order is given and it is delivered to the table, the bartender is given the same respect as that of a priest/mullah
5) We fight for our beliefs. My friends believe vodka is a sissy drink and i believe whisky is for low-lives. Yeah at times this may lead to battles.
6) Brotherhoods grow.
7) When we leave, we are at peace with the world
8) Women are not given equal rights.
9) Both have created world's greatest philosophers
10) And yeah....We pay tips
Lets hope that very soon the religious drunkards start their own political party,to overcome exploitation...infact demand drinking habits based census next...jai vodka!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Potteranity v1.0
Brothers & Sisters of human race and fellow bloggers in this scribbling race. Saturday October 3rd would be the date etched in the history of mankind, a date when man’s understanding of higher powers would be changed drastically. The date when Nautankey got his enlightenment.
After six rounds of sky vodka and uncountable tequila shots I, nautankey started receiving divine signals. I heard voices inside my head, no it was not the other fellow drunkards blabbering, it was divine voice. Voice of god [©Copyright nautankey.blogspot.com], the fact that I was resting in a resort far away from the city did not hinder the signal’s clarity.
All my previous understanding of the god and universe were challenged and thrown to dumps with this divine interaction. I found the god and the way to god or rather the one who can lead us to god.
Yes dear sinners!! God has been found [©Copyright nautankey.blogspot.com], so is the apostle who can herd us, the ignorant sheeps to the holy feet of the almighty. Harry potter is God!! And JK Rowling[peas be upon her] is our messiah. Once the secret has been revealed that Holy Harry is the Christ's next coming, the hunky kalki avtar and the daler..err..imaam mahdi whom all the scriptures have spoken about for thousands of years I decided to speak up. Open your minds and souls to accept the almighty Potter as the GOD.
A few salient features of this new divine religion which you will soon start following are listed below. This religion is currently named “Potteranity” but can also be referred as Potterism.
Potteranity is the most democratic & humane religion around and allows 'n^n' number of gods..A god for every action and reaction and the best part is under a festive(Potteranity’s festivals will be detailed in v2.0) offer the early bird devotees will be made gods/goddesses, you can also pose along with the almighty god and his aides Hermione and Ron for a quick polaroid photo. Once the official opening is declared rush your entries to iwannabeagod@potteranity.com..but do remember Holy Harry is the supreme god, the omnipresent one whose existence and powers can never be questioned, so the final allotment rests with the almighty Harry.
We will be gentle and peaceful followers of our honorable religion and ones who oppose us will lovingly be stoned, beheaded or amputated any body part of their choice (democracy again) in public.
About gender equality...women and equal to men ?..No WAY, in Potteranity they are superior. So all the top positions go to women and we have high priestesses, popeyes(female tense of popes) and himaamis(FT of imaams) and women can enter The Dingy Alley(worshipping place of Potteranity’s devotees ) anytime and any ‘bloody’ day(s) of the month. Polygamy is strictly banned and if Women practice it they will be punished with a fine of 500 USD and if men involve they will be ostracized & condemned to Potteranity’s hell with a fine of 1000 USD.
The wholey...well..the holy book of Potteranity will be called as Hinkypunky . This universal book of knowledge will have 8479 copies and interpretations..so if at all a religious skeptic questions and we don't like that. We can easily oppose that infidel by showing proofs from other 8478 versions of hinkypunky.
Holy Harry our almighty god always existed even before every single conceivable universe existed and expecting a relevant logical/scientific explanations for the preaching of Potteranity will grant you eons of life in painful hell where your soul will be burnt, fried with Chinese chilli n vinegar sauce.
Potteranity too has casteism.. castes are based on economic status. Just 2 subdivisions- haves and havenots. Your caste will be based on your belongings like mobile, i-pod, laptop, dig-cams if you are one who asks something like well...i-pond?? whatzat? can I swim o'er there ? ...Ewwww!! Just move out.. You are declared an untouchable.
The brothers and sisters who involve in blasphemy will be forgiven by the benevolent god by giving a host of wonderful tasks to fulfill… like getting smooched by nana patekar, watching rakhi sawant without makeup, making George Bush jr. win the spelling bee contest .
Ofcoz all generic rules apply ..like…
1. Thou shalt not have any God before Holy Harry... except Santaclaus and superman. Fine... Spider man, Rajinikanth allowed as demi-gods.
2. Thou shall not have any other messiah. JK Rowling[piece be upon her] will be the one and the only. All the other messiahs you were following, be it Eminem or Ramdev Baba cease to exist.
3. Thou shalt not kill, unless the infidel irritates you too much
4. Thou shalt be lazy and offer prayers once in a while when you are not drunk.
5. Thou shalt not steal, unless you really, really want something and cannot afford it
6. Potteranity is harsh on dressing freedom. If thou are a fat guy you are no longer allowed to wear speedos/tight tees or run around semi-clad and titillate women. And in the interest of fairness, if thee is a fat gal you cannot wear bikinis or terrorize men with butt clinching jeans.
More additions to this universal religion of love, peace, knowledge,wisdom and brotherhood will come in future versions. Information about Potteranity’s festivals, graphic details Potteranity’s hell and heaven, Gods and goddesses are all expected to be released soon.
Those infidels who don’t like this supreme religion are not welcome to the comments section and if they do dare to criticize this divine legion..well u know where those comments r gonna disappear along with the souls of those sinners. Harry Om!
Read more!!