Monday, February 23, 2009

Fishing on the net.


INTERNET - A Magical world which has changed lives, for good or bad is a different question altogether. The internet connection at my place was down for a few hours, making me feel downcast, frustrated and disgusted[with my ISP]. When I got a casual we-will-look-into-the- issue reply from my ISP, it just capped my anger and I became as violent as the chennai lawyers. I blasted the customer support guy and called names at the company before he disconnected it. Aaah the sense of satisfaction that came upon me,these are times one realizes the importance of the middle finger.

I just decided to pen down [or rather blog down] my experiences with internet. As of now I am reading some quality management manuals from the net to give a presentation which is a part of my annual goals..unfortunately the only way I am remotely connected to kwality is the vanilla cup-icecreams which I devour. So my scope of getting good ratings post the presentation is lower than the probability of sonia gandhi beating the william sisters in a bout[tennis or boxing..though I prefer the latter].

Leaving the presentation and the associated wonderful thoughts of my boss..my first brush with internet came 6years back. The intro to internet was a simple one, my friend came up and said "Dude there is a new way to get girlfriends". With my tom cruise + brad pitt physical appearance hardly being appreciated in real world, I decided to have a shy @ the virtual world.This my friends was the noble and intellectual intention which drove me towards internet & IT revolution.

I was lucky to some extent, started chatting with filipino and indonesian girls who more often looked like a football with a cute face and all of them were identical[I know they would have felt the same about indian guys]. Add to that surfing costed a real fortune those days. So net for me was like having a pack of marijuana, addictive but with lots of ripple effects especially on my pocket.

Slowly I learnt about the magic of search engines, type in anything and lo! you get the answer. I remember my first search string 'pam anderson's ***' and had an enlightening and informative session. Finally bored with my filipino mates I typed a search string in frustration 'indian girlfriends'...yeah I am a despo but I was a patriotc despo. Jai Hind!

Thus ended my teenage (mis)adventures with the network of networks and when fate turned me into a software engineer the real power of internet dawned upon me. Guess my most exciting moment with internet came when I downloaded a program right during my semester practical exams making a few honest souls around me faint. Trust me when I say many people used me as
a case study to quote about evils of the internet.

By the tird year of college google had become my goddess, friend, lover, sometimes a brat too..on the whole an integral part of me.Helped me in my researches(useful/educative ones I meant), made me realise that I am good in writing not just in slam books but also on the web which had crazy and like mided folks.Yeah it had its not so good effects on me like making me a religious skeptic, an amateur feminist, making me to think that a person exists only if he has a mailbox or to imagine that the fellow bloggers are as good & sweet as their pages(surely I aint as wicked or despo as my page depcits me to)....and many more.

There are times I do secretly type in my first love's name and click on search hoping to find her somewhere screaming and professing her love for me,I know it sounds as intelligent as a kid showing ta ta to a flight travelling 1000s of kms above his head but still that's the magic of internet...You expect anything and everything from it.



39 comments:

Tarun Goel said...

I went online when I was in 10th standard, that time we used to pay 15 rupees(only) to see our result of board exams.
In my college I sucked each and every drop of bandwidth by downloading wrestling,ghazals, comics and a lot of OTHER things :)
I never knew you were so
desperate....:D

Tarun Goel said...

And venting out anger gives you the pleasure as if you own the life of person on the other end :)

verbivorehere said...

Should say was glad to c u back :)
tom cruise + brad pitt physical appearance - gud one..imagine my plight aftr seing ur photos :)

Nautankey said...

Tarun,
The OTHER things wer focoz the msot interesting thing :D. sued to find all loopholes in our college's network to download them. Abt the despo part...Err.. I was worse than this at times.

I know the kinda pleasure it gives, had been a support executive once and never understood wat ppl get by abusing us..now tho I do :D

Verby,
I do know ur plight..must have been thinking when did tom cruise n brad pitt look so good :P :P

Bedazzled said...

there is a saying in tamil .. "nenappu daan polappa kedukudhu" .. Tom cruise and brad pitt !!..u r gonna get rated after a presentation ?? WTF?? what kinda company indulges in such loser behaviour.. everyone knows presentations r bullc***!! :-)..i got on the internet bandwagon quite early early 90s .. but then i am 80 so that doesnt count !!

Nautankey said...

Bargs,
Wat to do it happens.I thought i was smart ot put presentation in the goals list :D. And abt hte tamil comment,there is anohter one too "Over poramai ponnungalukku koodaadhu".

Yeah u have been pretty late to get into the bandwagon. It happens u know.Old folks take time :P

Ruth said...

It's bad with me too. Now, when I convince myself to read a book instead of Internet surfing, I'm quite pleased with myself. But then as soon as I read something on the page that I don't understand, I open the laptop for wiki or dictionary.com. Pathetic!

Cool that ARR won - twice! And it was sweet to see the stage crowded with the little stars when the film won best pic.

Ruth said...

I see we were cross-commenting. :D

Nautankey said...

Ruth,
Yup cross commenting :). i am unable to read books now thanks to the internet. Wish i had 40 hours a day.

Was at work during the oscar ceremony got to go home n check the flashes.

myheadtrip said...

I watched the Oscars on live streaming!! I am sooo addicted that I cannot go a day without checking my mails at least! :( Here I was thinking I had no vices - though I never searched for all that you have searched for even remotely!!! lol

Rated for a presentation!! sheesh...I thought that was the time when people can take their siesta! All the best!

I have even forgotten when I got introduced to the internet...think in the 90s. Having a yahoo/hotmail ID was supposed to be cool!! Paying so much to just check mails with dial up that too!!

The Seeker said...

Yeah! I too, got acquainted with the-online world when I was in my tenth standard and can remember all those times I was online in the name of collecting study-materials. Wink ;) Konjam pinjileya pazhuthathu! enna panna... And In eleven standard ,, chat thing happened, every time, logged in, when someone comes online, "ASL please," Hope u remember that phrase, And once me and my friends deceived as a girl and made a bhakra out of him. Poor soul went all the way from his home To koramangala to see that so-called chic....

And yeah! now its all professional.. Only for research/official mails/ online resources/blogging....

Yup That was quite a reminiscent post which made me remember all those fun times...

And good that U look like an amalgamation of only Brad pitt and tom cruise.. There was once a time, when I looked like the possible clone of every hollywood hunk..

You're very modest you know, Bhargavi akka should read this...

Smita said...

Aha!!! now I know why you haven't posted ur real picture here....your profile will get swamped and ur mail wud be full...bound to happen if you are tom cruise + brad pitt....hmmmm :D :D

I used to say in my college days "google baba ki jai" all my projects were done thru google. I have also realised onething you need to befriend google for best results. Aise hi kuch bhi words daal diye to it doesn't help. You need to know the right keywords ;)

As far as random chatting is concerned I had one bad experience and since then I have stayed away from it.

BTW has anyone told you that you are mad??? :D

Revathi said...

Ah you patriotic despo! :D lol! I'm confused now about who I am more proud of-you or A.R.Rahman :D And hey, I am one of the boring cases where I met the love of my life via Internet The Great. It was love at 1235th sight! Sigh! I feel so old for a very strange reason!

Nautankey said...

Apar,
Yeah we know ur one chamathu lady who wont do any abacharam activities :D.
People take siesta and then come back to ask question for the sake of it :)...Yes ourname @ hotmail.com sounded cool to tell out n we sued to have funky mail IDs like loverboy, cassanova..hee hee

Barat,
ASL...how can any chat addict forget those terms :).Thats a very common game we used to play in college.We faked as one of our classmates and made a guy to reduce his flab :P. Bargavi akka? hmm we address her as patti though

Nautankey said...

Smita
Very true i dont want girls threatening to involve in self immolation. Google is like a love interest,need to use right words/phrases else u end up getting weird responses.

Revathee
You can be proud of both of us for different reasons :). 1235th sight...uss...paavam remba sight adichu irukeenga :P.But that's really nice to know,bcoz not many have good experiences online.

Don't feel old, u R old. Hopefully ur mom gets the point :)

Smita said...

*gulp* self what? *evil grin* btw i have a copy of your now deleted comment in my office pc. If you want i can paste it here you can re paste it there. Since am a good soul i will not ask you to stop writing poems in exchange. :D

Nautankey said...

immolation :).that is suicide by fire. Yeah we shud find some term for suicide by reading my poetry :D Well leave the comment,u knew wat i blabbered :)

rauf said...

wass wrong wid you Nattu ?
in the last post you made poor Manmohan singh our beelovuudd prime minister face Brett Lee and nows you are makin the poor ting Sonia face the Williams, they are not women, they bees half men these williams sisters.

oh ! i think you have not experienced VSNL dial up ! what a nightmare it was, that was long long before Tata took over. My telephone bill was tearing my roof an touching the sky. lots of tings to say about that, my first experience in chattin, not yahoo or MSN or Gmail, but on ICQ ( i seek you ) Googall was not borned den.

You are two generations too late Nattu,
Let me introduce you to Don Martin (died a cuppla years ago) You will not find much of his work on the net. i'll mail you a few.

let me give you a page of his illustration.

Same situation as your surgeon cartoon

A man completely bald, shiny head lying on his stomach on the operation table. Head upright, chin restin on da table. Bald completely bald.

a team of doctors around him wearin the same aprons like your cartoon.

the chief is holdin a book titled
'surgery made easy' ( this was before surgery for dummies )

Ha Gentlemen ! says the chief. We have to make an incision. But how ?

Ha ! i have found it.

A tight close up of the bald pate, back of the patient's head, full frame.

Ha ! this is it !

Still closer. written on the head in tiny print.

'press here and tear along the dotted line'.

That is the magic of Don Martin.

vimmuuu said...

You were one sexually frustrated pig, I was too and I hope internet had made all the guys that way !! My bro took me to the internet parlours for the first time, and ever since then, I have been hooked to it. I created an id mrfraud81@XYZ.com to chat with the females there, but I couldnt find anyone !! (this was way back in 2000)Sigh! those were the days, now its pretty much simple and the curiosity is dead !

Hmmm, Brad Pitt+Tom Cruise eh? I dont wanna comment especially after mentioning about you in my recent post ! Yeah, you do look like a combination of Brad and Tom.

Praddy said...

lol..i was one of those poor soul..who could not find the practical exam programs in the internet and was jealous that u were able to find it :D

hope its better these days..u write programs all by yourself..or ask ur juniors to do that?

Prasad said...

hhhmmmm wonder if u really forgot the porn part :DDD

Nautankey said...

rauf,
Let me have my share fo dreams :), next wud be rauf haing a bout with tyson :D.

I have had a HCL dial up once,was pretty sad and yeah poor dad had to shell a bomb for the phone bill.

Don martin..hmm will check the net if at all I can get a thing.

Nautankey said...

Vimmmu
Yeah yeah saw ur award ceremony. And bad luck for you with the net chatting,guess there were no digi cams then where u can take ur sideways post n put it up :P

Praddy
Its ok its ok..all talent ya. juniors..hmm i dont have any, one man army..single man demolition squad so no choice of passing it on.

Pras
When i mean pam anderson the next step is obviously porn :D..kinda default.

rauf said...

Nattu, if he tries to bite my ear i'll bite his head off

i am mailin you some of Don Martins i have, not much i'm afraid

Bedazzled said...

ASL .. !! :-) .. ok i confess i bluffed to an american guy on chat (and was pretty successful) as an australian blonde girl with hazel eyes .. those days didnt know what hazel meant..the guy told me he was in love on the same day.. the next day i mail him from my Nintendo5@hotmail.com(!!) id and i get a reply saying .." U cheat !! imposter . i know u r some Asian trying to con me ".. didnt know that u cud check profiles of mails and the smart me forgot to change my name in my profile ;-) .. dat broke me heart !! ..ok i have damaged myself enuff .. for people who r more curious .. the site was chatbox.com .. and it doesnt exist anymore ;-)
Bharat .. Akka is cool .. dont listen to these brats !!

noeticsponging said...

I remember how my frens n I bunked tuition classes just to explore the the new technology, which was as fresh as a hot baked bun, in town. This was way back in 1999. And no wonder you bumped into a philipino, coz all of us had philipino as our first chat pal:-)

No enigma here. I'm your girl-next-door said...

Oh yes, googling people I know is fun. I do it a lot especially when I am bored. Having said that, it's kinda scary to have so much information about you out in the open. You type a name and within a fraction of a second you have their Facebook profile, Rediff connections profile, Names database, LinkedIn and what-not!

Btw, the comparisons (Sonia Gandhi and Bangalore Lawyers) were ticklish. So was the bit about Google being your goddess. Go-ogle!

s w a t said...

I'm still waiting for the Big MO's pictures :))

I.n.t.e.r.n.e.t
Don't even get me started. If not for that, where would have I met amazing friends like you guys?!

Nautankey said...

Rauf,
LOL I can imagine you doing that :-). got those don amrtin pics simply awesomeeeeee. Will keep a watch for any more and will send them across

Bhargs,
Hazel eyed blond :)).. Cant picturise you like that. Next time around will get a blond wig and we gotto take a snap of u :D

Nautankey said...

Noetics,
Yup yup..filipinos seem to be the most jobless bunch..ofcoz after the indians :D

Girl-next-door,
initially it was fun to see our name getting results in google,but now year pretty scary.
Yes I once made a speec on the google ogle :D

Swat,
aaha..wat a touching comment. Have posted it on FB :)..

Bedazzled said...

u have been mentioned.. ;-) .. see i told u to untag me .. now, i have created a tag about u ..

Nautankey said...

Bhargs,
Read that and commented too.. So much violence not good for health.

kanaguonline said...

/*the only way I am remotely connected to kwality is the vanilla cup-icecreams which I devour*/

LOL :) that's a nice account of your addiction to net.. mine just lies with gmail.. and now blogs... at times some movie sites and orkut..
But I am also addicted to internet and cant get out of it :)

Sneha Divakar said...

the last paragraph is absolutely amazing..

Nautankey said...

Kanagu
Speak abt social networking sites I was permanently hooked on to orkut. And the addiction gets worse when there is no net access :)

Sneha
Gee...Thanks :)

Arpita said...

God I never knew you were this desperate:p and btw andu ena as violent as chennai lawyers.. u nonsense fellows

Nautankey said...

Arpita,
What wud have done if u had known ? Ponnu paathu kudukkava pora :P

And yeah the lawyers proved where they come from..the violent law colleges. just evolved from one violent place to another :P

mirrorcracked said...

Hehehe!! I think my first search string was something similar! ;)

Nautankey said...

nikhil,
great men..err...great perverts think alike :P