Thursday, February 5, 2009

Ram Sena here I come....

Long hours in office and even worse, working on weekends have made sure that I don't blog often, much to the happiness of many souls who got weeded out with my last post. But then I am back..argh I sound like some wannabe tamil super star who turns around stylishly and tells "I am back" though in reality none missed me :-).

Coming back to the topic (I am resolved this time around), the disgusting act @ mangalore pub stood as a testimony for the lack of historical/cultural value of the goondas involved. What’s all the fuss about? For thousands of years alcohol has been a part of indian culture and add to it ramayan, mahabharat speak about separate shalas for drinking..now aren't they kind of pubs. So buggers better don't stop me from following my ancient traditions. Jai Shri ram ki...three cheers..hic!!

And now coming to my other grouse..the 2d Saturday of this month, the day I dread the most and my annual brush with it. Every year when the calendar in my house screams Feb.14th I feel so frustrated and hope tragedies like a nuclear war, a meteor strike or a new SRK release takes place.

Should be a case of sour grapes, I am no 'pyar ki dushman' like the hindi movie heroinee's dad. When I hear questions like 'so what you do on feb14th' or a weird stare as if I am an alien when I say 'I don't have a girlfriend', seriously feel the idea of some huge scale tragedy is better.If I sound like a despo well fine I guess I am one.. Especially a cyber despo who hunts for victims on the net so if you know me personally count your days.

This may be because I am still waiting to get my kind of girl.. I know, I know such a weird imagination, and finding that kind of girl would be as be as tough as making me wear Kareena's jeans.

My first experience of VD(valentines day..if u remember a disease with the same short form I can't help it) was during my first year of college. I was in Loyola, an all guy’s college and my gang of friends bought around 10 tickets for a movie on feb14th.It fell on the first Friday, a day where we can go an hour late to college, thanks to the holy mass. We did not have an inkling of the holy and special importance of Feb 14th. On that specific day only 4 of us cud make to the film hall and Lo!! There was a sea of humanity. Guys of different shapes, sizes and colors with girls of the same specifications had crowded there, the guys holding their partner's hands so tightly as though she is gonna run away with a better looking one and the girls giggling for sweet nothings. Maaan we really felt left out and wanted to scream our hearts, lungs, kidneys out "I too want a girl!!!” but finally my brain(sometimes it works too) thought of an idea. We decided to sell all the 10 tickets we had, what with some of the crazy morons ready to shell out a bomb for it. After bumper sales with 300% profit we had a blast of a time in our own way. So VD had created some young entrepreneurs. Hail VD and down with those who are against it.

But soon after that year the reality of VD stuck me and most of my pals did settle with one or the other (meant the girl or her close pal who was messenger of love) for a VD date. And I take utmost care as to what to do on VD, this is applicable to all singles who are reading this a) Listen to music that is the utterly unromantic probably hearing Annu mallik/Reshammiya sing a duet will give some reasons to live thru the dreaded day b) Read about love stories which have failed or of stories about a college in Chennai which suspends guys or gals if they speak with each other.

Next is selecting the right TV channel preferably sports or cartoon, if at all you enter into the music channels, sorry I can assure you that you will end up drinking rat poison or aerated drink outta depression.They normally show the love affair of the newspaper boy, dhoodhwalla, dabbawalla and who not? and this is what seriously makes me to join the Ram sena.

If you take all the above mentioned precautions, hopefully you will carry on like me with the desperate single guy (DSG..wow sounds like DGP)tag without ending up as a violent fanatic thrashing girls at pubs. Though my DSG tag is fastly moving towards the danger of being taken off,I expect it to hang in her for few more months. So guys your pretty lady colleagues, neighbour's daughter, uncle's brother-in-law's niece and every other lady whom you have a crush on are still not safe...Beware!!

45 comments:

s w a t said...

Last VDay, half my class was empty! This time, we have holidays. Cha, can't tease/see/bug any love birds(!). That's what we singles can do right?! *sigh*

verbivorehere said...

:))) lol!! who said u werent missed !!! and hey..i guess you need to refer to few of committed/engaged/married ones plights to avoid depression and actually celebrate freedom i guess ;P

Smita said...

Obviously we missed your posts :D

And lol @ ur black marketing techniques...what an innovative way to celebrate VD...

Vaise I have never attached too much imp to VD ;-)

Ramana KV said...

Now, you have put these thought into my head when i never cared about the day.. Hopefully the day goes fine.. :)

Good one :)

vishesh said...

lol :P loved the post :) such entertainment :D :D :D

Ha well no dates while preparing for boards.. :P

Prasad said...

ROFLLLllllllllllllllllll!!! appada! :D

Angel's Flight said...

U funny!

Gosh is V day here already??? I haven't started the hints my husband yet...not that they help....sigh!

Tarun Goel said...

Chalo, at least you will be spared by the Ram Sene guys who are out on a killing spree this V-day, your bad luck will save your ass this V-day :) because they seem more desperate than you this time :P

Nautankey said...

Swat,
Oh i am at that point of my life where I hate seeing love birds coochy cooing. Frustrated old man you see :D.

Nautankey said...

Verby,
just checked the date of my last post,actually hasnt been more than 15days :D.Looks like i miss this place more than others missing my crap.

i know i know..the other side is always green :D

Nautankey said...

Smita,
thank you for missin and am comin out with a poetry. LOL :D

Even this time i thought of reserving 15-20 tickets n sellin them,but off late all posh theatres in chennai are having bouncers to deal with black marketeers..so better not risk it.

i know V.D is just another day for TV channles and commercial establishments.Still the impact it has on young impressionable minds ..like me :P

Nautankey said...

Ramana,
Err..missed out an improtant point.Dont read blogs tagged with love or VD :D..

Thank you

Nautankey said...

vishesh,
Yeah though dates[the lion dates kind] is good for memory and as extra proteins during exam times. Dates with opposite sex is a serious NO :D. Thanks for likin it

Nautankey said...

Prasa,
Enna oru sandhosham

Nautankey said...

Angel,
Aah..this is another eason to oppose VD :D..partners asking for gifts in times of recession. Hope ram sene does something for this

Nautankey said...

Tarun,
somehow I think Ram sene has been started off by people whose desperation degree is higher than me :D..its good for me though. But hope they stop with VD n dont poke into Pubs.

Sindhu :) said...

Though my DSG tag is fastly moving towards the danger of being taken off"

What do you mean by that? Someone in the picture? ;)


And don't worry ya... we are all there na... single girls & guys [not sure how many are actually despo though :D]

Prasad said...

elliya pinna!!!! ellam oru companyku dhan!!!

and as meher rightly points out!!! yemi matteru????

Ruth said...

I don't like how VD makes single people feel worthless. But I think you should share details of what you and your friends did with the money you got from the sold tickets.

And you were missed.

Aparna said...

Oh! You certainly have been missed!! When I saw VD..I thought of only VD the one you mention in the braces :)

300% profit...oh boy!!! fools in love eh?

Btw, I was just thinking even Disney channel has Valentine's special programmes!!! Sheesh!!

arvind1187 said...

hee hee ...
I want to become entrepreneur too :P

Does VD fall on friday this month ?? :P

all the ladies here are saying U were missed ./.
:)

Happy nw ?? :D

vishesh said...

you are welcome :) ya I know,I might need a bit of it...

Arun said...

heh heh ! priceless, dude :D !!!

vimmuuu said...

Your nautankeys were missed buddy.

I have never celebrated VD in my life, infact I cant. Its my moms bday too on feb 14. I just cant think of another woman on that day. LOL.

I liked that tag DSG. sounds coool. You should get a tattoo with that initials!!! Praddyyyyy, lets drag this bugger too for the tattoo thingy!

The blogger formerly known as Sansmerci said...

haha... nice post.. of all the posts i read on ram sena.. i guess the best one is this! easiest and funniest way to get the msg thro..

but hey.. i jus the saw the quirky tag thingie.. r u really the kinda guy who wants sucha gal?

Nautankey said...

sindhu,
now stop reading too much between the lines..Yeah dunno how many wud be sooo desperate..u know despo enuf to settle for married bosses :P :P

Nautankey said...

Pras,
Same advice..dotn read too much ebtween the lines..and u single?? huh stop joking.. I dont want to reveal the list of babes who r behind u and ur laughing style.

Nautankey said...

ruth,
what would 19 year old do when they have seen the kinds money which they have never seen their life :D...booze,eat and roam around. The money got over in a day but the memories are still there.

Thank you :)

Nautankey said...

abar,
disney channel :O ...thats juvenile

Nautankey said...

Arvind,
Comeon lets book all the tickets in satyam n inox :D join venture.

Yeah very very yappy

Sneha Divakar said...

cool.. esp the 300% profit part :)

Nautankey said...

Arun,
Thank yous :)

Vishesh,
You need loads of it.

Nautankey said...

vimmuu,
you drag me to tatoo I drag u to drink dhaaru :P..beware. As for u not celebrting VD..LOL I am not that innocent to trust u

Nautankey said...

swarna,
its funny but also a fact :) we have drinking in our culture why get hypocritical n push it under the carpet.

Not really :P..but i think wen ppl advertise for fair slim looking ones this one will surely stand out :)

Nautankey said...

sneha,
Wish i was more proactive then..more ticketsn more profits :)

mirrorcracked said...

"VD"...!!????

Dude, you know that VD is the universally accepted abbreviation for Venereal Disease! Right?? :D

Abhishek said...

Ha Ha Ha
Good that you didn't write too much, else I would surely have missed something :D

BTW, me too waiting for aliens to abduct me before 14th!

Sindhu :) said...

Shut up

:D

Nautankey said...

Nikhil,
Thats why i had given a disclaimer in brackets :D..lazy to type the whole word

Nautankey said...

Abhishek,
Welcome to the club..but lets hope there r some pretty lady aliens :D

Nautankey said...

Sindhu,
Truth naaa...pretty tough to accept :D

Bedazzled said...

u r incorrigible !!!!

Nautankey said...

bhars,
Incorrigible? Appideena...first G says something like erudiate and now you this. Mr n Ms.Peters we dont carry dictionaries ok :P ..

The Seeker said...

U did sound like me!!! Just 23 (turned just now) yeah!!! VD seems is strange to me ( do u think i ve an inkling of Ram sene, sorry bro!!!)...

They make young people go mad,,, Well to an extent it can be the J factor of A despo guy! But still there i'm a committed single, as me and my other girl( as a friend) call ourselves,
Committed singles...

blame it on my all boys school education and well talking about it! I had 21 rakhis in my first year UG life, most eligible brother in the campus...

Been reading quite a few posts of yours, Liked your writings, esp the joke you came up with,,,

Sweet baby!!! loved your sense of humour....

kanaguonline said...

LOL....
/* tragedies like a nuclear war, a meteor strike or a new SRK release takes place.*/
When SRK movies went into the list of tragedy... :)
quite a nice post.. I have laughed all the way..